August 14, 2007

Crabby Reviews a Product! (Eventually). Part 1

Oddly enough, Crabby doesn't often get asked to review health products. Which is too bad because: (a) she is very opinionated; and (b) she loves the idea of getting free stuff to try!

It's true that Crabby does make fun of products sometimes, or tell readers they probably don't need them. And even when she's basically endorsing something, her quotes are not the sort one would likely see displayed with pride on a manufacturer's website:

Applegate Farms Nitrite-Free Organic Smoked Chicken "doesn't taste like fresh chicken; it tastes like lunch meat. But Crabby means that in a good way!"

Or, on Journey to the Wild Devine, a biofeedback game she enjoyed: "I think it helped with stress management, but I don't really remember. And it was kind of expensive. But, well, it was really fun!"

Crabby did get an email once asking her try a laxative. Er, uh, a Fiber Supplement. Crabby didn't need one, so she declined.

But then recently she came across a product she was curious about, and so she asked a question at the product's website. She dropped a few Broad Hints and lo and behold, they let her try it! This, of course, is not the same thing as actually being sought after to review something, but Crabby will take Free any way she can get it.

At this point a normal blogger would now tell you about the product, and whether she liked it or not.

But guess what? That's not 'til tomorrow. Crabby is hoping to create Suspense, as well as to create Two Posts out of material for One.

So instead, she will leave you to guess, if you care to, what she is reviewing and what she might say about it. The more Wild and Unlikely your Guess, of course the Better. Though she has no prizes to award, the Most Amusing Guess (and Guesser) will be gratefully acknowledged by Crabby. And accurate guesses/guessers will too!

The whole issue of bloggers reviewing things is a tricky one, and Crabby is curious about what other bloggers and readers of blogs think about it. Because Crabby has googled products she is interested in and come across reviews in blogs. How does she know whether to believe them? She did not know until recently that some bloggers get paid to say nice things about products.

That's clearly scummy! And it also seems a bit suspicious if a blogger keeps getting expensive products in return for saying really nice things about them. But what if they really truly think they're wonderful? Though Crabby dreams of the day when she will face this ethical dilemma, she will just emphasize the fact that she would never lie to her Smart Readers in order to get free stuff.

At this point, though, Crabby is happy to try out things that people want to send her and she will tell her readers, honestly, what she thinks. But manufacturers and retailers, beware--she actually means "honestly."

So if anyone has any Real or Silly Guesses about what product Crabby is testing out, or any thoughts about bloggers reviewing products, or any left-over but still tasty opinions about anything else in the Universe, please feel free to share them here!


  1. Hmm, are you reviewing a new fanny pack? I've seen Hulk Hogan on VH1 latetly swearing that they are still in style.

    Ok, no probably something more health related. I'm going with a new organic cream that results in washboard abs... that's sort of my theme lately and it would be great if you could find such a product.

  2. Hmmm, I don't have a specific product, but I'm guessing it's something that requires time to make itself apparent. Pehaps a food that you need to make sure agrees with you? Exercise equipment and its next-day effect on your body?
    I'm all for bloggers reviewing products, but it's commonly going to be in the back of my mind about kickback involved. Not with you though, Crabby. I know better.

  3. Health product...
    well googling health product came up with some clues:
    organic, alternative, hemp based...yogurt that eases smoking cravings.

  4. We have to wait until tomorrow.. hmm.. you revisted that laxative offer, didn't you? ;)

  5. I can only hope that it is an exceptionally tasty chocolate bar or ice cream that makes you super healthy, lose weight and has no unwanted side affects.

  6. Sorry to post twice. I just wanted you to know a did a little review of your site on my Nutrition Suite 101 blog.

    Here is the link so you can check it out! If you want to mention it in a blog post later, that would be nice but not necessary.

  7. You're totally reviewing a Kegel-ciser , right? No? Worth a shot.

    My dad and I used to have a rather happening Anime website (, it's now just a forum *sniffles*). We were sent free DVDs before they came out to write reviews on. A couple were even quoted in the company's press releases! I would always try to find at least a couple positive things to say about a show, even if it wasn't exactly my cup of tea. And if I knew I would hate it, I'd let Dad watch it, heh.

    I think that's a little different than review other products though. DVDs are pretty cheap, so even if we didn't review one, it's not like the company cared THAT much. I suppose one unit of a product is worth potentially good press to many companies.

  8. I get free candy to blog about from companies and I don't give them a good review if they aren't, well, you know, good. :P

    I like to think of myself as the guinea pig and it gives me the chance to let people know if something is worth their money and calories!

  9. Oh, the suspense. Crabby, I just can't wait to hear your reveiw. And I have no creativity whatsoever, so whatever it is, it'll be a surprise to me. But Lisa suggestion of a kegel-ciser would definitely make for an interesting reveiw no matter if it were good or bad...

    I personally hope it's a miracle weight loss supplement and you tell how you lost 30 pouneds in 3 days.l.. and then you tell it only costs like 5 dollars to lose that 30 pounds... Well, I can dream...

  10. I've always thought those little stick-on electrodes that work your muscles for you while you do whatever you wish (like, eat candybars, lay around watching t.v., etc...)would be something worth trying. There sure wouldn't be anything to CRAB about if that product worked. (pun intended)

  11. Yay! A review! Give it all the crabbiness you can muster :D

    And now my guess ... I got a feeling it is something organic. That's all I got.

  12. Oh my goodness, you folks have much better ideas for product reviews than I do. You all crack me up. And I want some of these things, damn it! Though I should probably pass on the laxatives and Kegels, especially simultaneously or my body won't whether to clench up or... well never mind.

    And thank you Samantha, for the kind mention over at nutrition suite 101!

    So sorry for bundling up comment responses yet again. I had a horrible fright this morning, though, when it appeared I'd lost wireless access entirely! I tried and tried and tried to get on and couldn't so eventually I decided to...consult a computer expert? No, to go away and shop for sandals. (I'm a sneaker person, not a sandal person, but it's freakin' hot here.) Anyway, 12 shoe stores and five hours later, I finally have a pair of sandals I think I can walk in! And it turned out I'd somehow disabled my wireless connection; I still don't know how I did it, but I undid it and it is again Able.

    So sorry. But at least now I have sandals!

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  14. I figured that it would be that fake crab meat. You know, as it in takes one to know one. {grin}

  15. "This, of course, is not the same thing as actually being sought after to review something, but Crabby will take Free any way she can get it."

    Ah, pretend love and fame -- still ok.

    I'll take three guesses because I love a good blog guessing game:
    1) An energy drink of some sort.
    2) A new candy flavored, chocolate flavored, or otherwise unhealthy flavored energy bar.
    3) Caffeine soap

    Notice it's all food related. I tried to think like you. Although technically you can't (should not) eat soap; it's close to a food product. Plus, damn it I want to review caffeine soap.

  16. Jennifer, your caffeine soap made me pig-snort!

  17. Hmm. My first guess would be this.

    Second Guess: something like a sugar substitute splenda type thing.

    ...Or an new brand of canned pumpkin.

    I'm not crazy about product reviews. Unless it's something WE pick because we really like it. Even better if we can pick it and then give one away. (I'm really tempted to do a Socks giveaway on SS. Really- I've found these socks I'm now obsessed with. You can get them at Target for like 3.99, but who wants to go buy them when you *might* just win them and get them in the mail two weeks later?) Although reading Sera's comment makes me wish I had a different theme for my blog...

    Can't wait to see what it is!

  18. I was going to suggest the laxative, revisited, but Hilary beat me to it. Hmm. Is there any chance you might be testing a chocolate that magically makes unwanted belly fat disappear overnight? Or perhaps a beer that speeds metabolism? If so, and you'd like some assistance, you know where to find me. A girl can only dream...

  19. Hi Katherine,
    Wouldn't those products be nice? So yeah, if you hear of them, please alert me ASAP!

    (Hope you found the post that revealed the solution--not nearly as fun as the reader guesses)


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