October 07, 2009

Random Wednesday: Blog Announcements, Inspirational Stories, and Endangered Penises

Photo: darkmatter

It's not yet time for our road trip back to the west coast (nor the Big-Ass Road Trip Giveaway that goes with it) but I'm headed out of town for a few days with the Lobster. The Lobster has a businessy thing to attend off-Cape, and we thought we'd take advantage of the travel opportunity and do a little hiking and camping and see some New England fall colors.

So this is one of those disorganized posts with a bit of this and a bit of that. Thank goodness Cranky Fitness has other more reliable co-bloggers besides Crabby McSlacker!

Wait, cobloggers? Plural?

Yes indeed. Plural!

Which leads me to one of today's blog announcements. So just who is the mysterious second co-blogger and when does she arrive?

New Co-blogger News!

Remember that very amusing review of the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD that I linked to a while back? Well, the author of that post, Gigi of Chunky Monkey Mama, will be joining the Cranky Team as a contributor, along with Jo from Head Nurse (whom you've already met).

Gigi starts this week, in fact, if all goes as planned. But we have a temperamental template, and I'll be out of town, so if somehow nothing pops up from Gigi? Blame the Crab and I swear I'll fix it when I get back.

If the Shoe Fits... It's Probably Being Worn by a Dude or a Lesbian:

Okay, the study did not say anything about sexual orientation, but from personal experience... I've noticed that many of you straight gals (not all, certainly) have this weird thing about footwear. As in, the more painful and impossible to walk in a pair of shoes appears to be, the more likely many of you are to want to stuff your feet in those babies and pay dearly for the privilege.

Well, according to a study reported by the New York Times:

"Researchers found that women who had mainly worn supportive footwear like sneakers or athletic shoes in their early years cut their risk of foot pain later by more than half, compared with women who had worn shoes that gave average support, like hard-soled or rubber-soled ones.

"But both of those groups were in a minority. More than 60 percent said that in the past they generally wore high heels, pumps, sandals and slippers, all of which researchers rated as higher risk. Women who wore those were at the most risk of hindfoot, ankle and Achilles’ tendon pain."

Don't say I didn't warn ya!

So What Was That About Endangered Penises?

I know it's quite adolescent of me to find this amusing, but the headline said "Rescue Team Uses Saw to Free Trapped Penis!" and I couldn't help but click on the report.

It seems that in an attempt to increase the size of his penis, a man put it "through the hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener." After two or three days, his penis had swollen a lot (more gross details here) and a fire department Urban Search and Rescue team had to come in and saw it off. (The weight fastener, not the penis).

The Department Battalion Chief carefully explained the procedure: "They slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing.”

Crabby No Longer Juiced Every Week:

So my contract is up at The Juice and this is my last week posting there. Thanks, all, for patiently putting up with all those sponsored plugs I was throwing at you this summer!

However, if you were ever going to wander over and actually watch one of the videos, this week's interview with Terri Tate would be a good one to check out.

If you are shallow like me, you might notice that while Terri is very articulate, she has a slight speech impediment. Then, a short while later, you hear her story and you find out why this is, and then feel like a total asshole for noticing.

Yep, she had oral cancer; went through drastic surgeries; lost half her tongue and lower jaw and a bunch of other body parts. She was given only a 2% chance to live. And yet she fought back and survived and put her life back together again. She's a nurse, stand-up comedian, speaker, and an award-winning performer of her own one woman show, which is on available on dvd if you're curious.

Watching these sort of interviews, or hearing similar stories of people who face unimaginably scary, painful, horrible and life-altering situations with optimism and good humor, I always think: Holy crap. How the hell do people do that? If you've been through something tough yourself, maybe you can tell me, because I just don't know how I'd ever cope.

But it does make me want to take a moment to remember that if something awful happens, suddenly the best-case prognosis might be to get only part of the workings of my old life back. And to somehow learn to be happy with that. I might have to fight like hell just to be able to speak or walk or read or eat, and I could be living with pain the entire time. The "happy ending" that so many brave survivors hope and pray and fight for? That's the very life I have now!

What great good fortune I have to be healthy! It would be such a waste to take that for granted, even for a moment. (Not that I promise to stop whining... but it's good every now and then to try to get some perspective.)

Stay tuned for Gigi and Jo, and have a great week!


  1. I don't know where to start! That penis thing.. just too friggin funny if you can call it that! Leave it to a man! I guess since we women know what it feels like to get our breast smashed with those mammies, well.... that says it all!

    Oh, the heels. I hate to say but I would love to be able to wear them! I did when I was younger but not the super cute ones. With wide, flat & bunion feet, well, they get worse as we get older & now I can barely get in the wide workout shoes! But I do love the look of all those cute shoes!

    Oh, an early welcome to Gigi! AND, thx for the inspirational story & that we should be glad we are just healthy!

  2. YAY! Gigi Congrats on the new gig! That rocks! She rocks....great job Cranky for bringing us two awesome new bloggers to join you!

    Have fun on your travels are you coming up to NH to hike some mountains?

  3. The things men do with their penises! Just kill me.
    I was going to say that the man could put his penis in that shoe but I'm sure he's already tried. Then i started thinking about the lotus foot in China..foot-wrapping where they would wrap the young female child's foot so her toes were doubled under and then shoved her foot into a tiny shoe and men got off on that shit too with their penises.

    As Elaine once said, "I don't know how you even walk around with those things between your legs!"

    AND yes, that is an amazing cancer story. I can't even imagine having oral cancer.
    I have to wear sensible shoes. I have never put my foot in a fancy shoe. I could get some that fit but I'd have to shop at a cross dressing store of which there are many to choose.

  4. We laugh, but boob jobs and other horrific plastic surgeries are always on the rise, especially with women! (and, that's not saying that if I had the oney I wouldn't have work done...)

    I'm a hetero woman and I don't get the shoes either. Sure, they're cute but my back hurts emensely just looking at them! But, I do wear slippers and slipper like shoes all the friggin time...there's no winning is there? Sneakers only? :( ok. thanks.

  5. I can't wear heels. I've tried. I think the chief reason is I hate them on me.
    And speaking of chief, oh my dogness. What a maroon.

  6. Wait - even medical professionals referred to it as "his thing"?? Hilarious.

    And I am one of those ridiculous shoe girls. Although I only wear them about once a week. The rest of the time it's sneakers:)

  7. Have a great trip Crabby! I sure miss the orange/red fall colors. (We only get yellow 'round these parts.)

    I love the look of a lot of those fancy shoes. (And the look they give your legs.) But I'm a comfy shoe gal. Always have been. Wear heels only a few times a year for special occasions. But it's a bummer that my choices are even more restricted now thanks to arthritis in my big toe. From running. Yeesh.

    Welcome Gigi! Can't wait to see how you top the "penis post". :)

  8. Heh...I"m so clumsy that the whole uncomfortable crazy heel shoes thing really never came up as an option!
    I'm the tomboy comfy shoes sort, but I stand all day and have no desire to actually put someone's eye out by tripping into them wearing silly shoes. The heel sseem to be at an all time high at the moment. Me? I'm happy in my Addidas superstars :)
    I'm excited to have some new authors in here - the more the merrier!

  9. I love shoes. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to wear high heels for many, many years (they are so impractical when one is chasing cows!)

    The penis thing? Totally cracked me up! Reminded me of a joke.... oh, umm, never mind... it's not exactly fit for mixed company!

    And thank you for the reminder about being grateful for our good health!

  10. i have to admit i had to click on the headline when i saw penis too. i'm immature. i know.

    but i recently had a refreshing cup of perspective on the health thing too and am very very thankful and blessed for my health. i wonder too, how i would respond in the face of such scaryness and only hope i could every display the amount of bravery i see others show. amazing.

  11. Penis thing = blech. That sounds terrible, and I was too chicken to click on the "more details here" and will instead spend the rest of the day wondering what is behind that link, but worrying that it's horrifying...

    Shoes...I see the uncomfortable looking heels and my first thought is always how difficult it would be to escape from a fire or chainsaw-wielding maniac while wearing them. So thank you for making me feel better about being unfashionable.

    Also, thanks for the thoughts on how lucky we are. That's a good perspective to have!

  12. When I saw the title, I thought it was about women emasculating men. But you wonderful sore-footed creatures wouldn't do that, now would you?

  13. I like how you have a label for penises.

  14. Yay for Gigi! I love her - so glad to see her join your blog!

    I HATE heels. Actually, most shoes are terrible for me, as I have wide feet. I've left a few pairs on the side of the road to die after they've tortured me during an event.

  15. Heels... I miss my heels! And yes, you can run in them. I might do a post of my own, rather than in your comments :)

    I am fairly certain that if anything awful happened to you Crabby, you would find the strength to deal with it. The will to live is amazingly strong and well, you just deal with what life hands you. You moan and wail, then realize there is no point in it as it doesn't help. Then you look around and see the others that are going through similar situations, or worse and you cope.

    Have fun climbing mountains & an early welcome to Gigi.

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  17. "...suddenly the best-case prognosis might be to get only part of the workings of my old life back. And to somehow learn to be happy with that."

    So true...

    Gigi? Gigi! I love her writing. Yaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I would pay a thousand bunollas* to read Cranky Fitness with its ever expanding line up of fascinating & witty writers. When are you bringing POD on board?

    *word verif

  18. Decided to follow the link to learn more about the mad penis caper after all. Was not disappointed. Why'd he do it? To be king of his tribe. Guess this makes him King Dumbbell.

  19. So glad Gigi's coming on board - I love her!

  20. Oh my gosh! I was SO not going to even click your topic til I saw the penis thing, and then I had to know whose penis was endangered!

    Oh man, that guy is a loon!! Five times its normal size?? Well, either he couldn't fit through a normal doorframe or his weenie was so tiny that he really *needed* to try and stretch it out....

  21. I did pointy-toed dressy shoes in the 60s before I was old enough for heels. THROUGH with uncomfortable shoes!

    Shouldn't he have tried weight-lifting first?

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  22. Way good randomness!

    I am not a heel wearer, thanks to many childhood ankle sprains. Not to mention general overall clumsiness. I'd probably die in a heel wearing accident and make a funny headline somewhere.

    Secretly though, I have stiletto envy.

    A big welcome to Gigi! Can't wait!

  23. Fortunately I'm not one of those shoe girls. Comfort all the way! I have weak ankles and am generally clumsy, so the nearer I am to the ground, the better. I also have huge feet, so my choices are limited.

    As for the penis thing - ouch!

  24. Nice blog.Now,from your blog,I know something others. thanks.Let's keep in touch.


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