July 28, 2009

Evil Non-Dairy People

Okay, so I might sound a bit cranky today, but only because it's over 100 degrees out today and I had to work on the third floor of a stuffy office because the air conditioning broke down and the windows don't open and nobody loves me and everybody hates me and ... well, look, I'm just cranky.

It is completely unreasonable to expect a hot, cranky female to write a cheerful post. Forget Merry Sunshine, this is her evil twin cousin Merry Fix-the-friggin'-air-conditioning-NOW-psycho-beotch.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, People Who Don't Do Dairy (PWDDD).

You can't spot a non-dairy person on the street. Oddly enough, they look like everyone else, only more so.

And no, I don't care what your mother told you, you cannot catch non-dairy-itis by swimming in a community pool.

And yes, trust me, PWDDD have heard all the arguments about how dairy will take care of all your calcium needs as well as prove you're a red-blooded American/Canadian/Mesopotamian.

Some facts about PWDDD that you might not know:

- they do not have horns, a forked tail, and scales underneath their clothing
- they very rarely sacrifice live babies in arcane and mystic rituals
- they can and frequently do get adequate calcium from other sources

Honestly, you'd think it was an actual crime punishable by scorn, the way some people react. PWDDD are treated as if they were putting on airs or something.

Yes, I'll say it: dairy-airs.
(No, I have no shame. Too cranky.)

When confronted with a non-dairy person, some people get annoyed on a fundamental level. Especially if you're not eating cheese every 34.5 seconds. You'd think I'd smeared brie across the American flag and threatened to stomp on it. It's a fermented milk product, people! Not an icon! The Dairy marketing people have brain washed y'all. Sheesh.

Oh come on now. Be honest. You going to look me in the monitor and say, with a straight face and a clear conscience, that you've never looked askance at someone who embraces an alternative cow lifestyle?

Photo Credits:



  1. Oh dear, particulary cranky today! I hope they fix the air con real fast!
    I am a dairy cow fan and love to grate parmesan cheese over most of my food. It is delicious on scrabbled eggs.

  2. It's okay, Kellie, you can have my share of the Parmesan :)

  3. haha, you have every right to be cranky... I think I would have demanded time and a half due to the working conditions!

  4. Mmm... I've done no dairy. And I've done dairy. I like dairy. But I'm okay with you not eating dairy. Although typing "dairy" over and over again is starting to weird me out.

  5. I do a little dairy. Yogurt, cheese, ice cream. But because I have Autistic kids on GFCF diets, the dairy quotient in our home has gone way down.
    I just wish people would leave others' food choices alone! What you eat is none of my business, unless you're stealing food off my plate!

  6. (Still chuckling over "dairy airs!!!!)

  7. You keep putting on your dairy-airs, more for me. ;)

    I don't think I've ever met someone who eschews dairy particularly (rather than all animal products) for any reason but lactose intolerance; but I know several people who don't like milk. I don't see how that's possible, but then again I despise onions and that seems to confuse most people. :)

  8. I'm with you Merry! I don't do dairy either... I am often regarded as strange.

  9. I love cheese. But I totally respect your right not to love cheese. :+)

  10. LOL, dairy-airs.

    Yeah, I consume so little dairy produce, I think it is only a matter of time before I adopt dairy-airs.

  11. I love cheese, yogurt, ice cream...
    But I have no problem with others eschewing dairy.

  12. GOOOD MORNING from hothot TX.
    Im sitting here drinking my coffee (with dairy) and hoping your a/c situation is fixed today, Merry!

    and you know me.

    I give not a rats ass, errr, care what others do.

    and you know me.

    I hearteth the dairy.

  13. It's funny because in the health blog world, I seem to come across more people who DON'T do dairy than those who do, so I always feel sort of freakish for drinking tons of milk. And many of my IRL friends are either vegan or lactose intolerant. But I guess many places it must be considered "weird" to not drink milk?

    Because I do dairy, and I'm lazy, I do appreciate the easy calcium thing, but of course there are lots of other ways to get it. And while I'm secretly judgmental of people who eat nothing but junk food, I think it's really rude to ever express opinions out loud on a specific person's food choices! Didn't realize non-milk drinkers had to put up with that.

    And sheesh, that air conditioner situation sounds intolerable!

  14. dragonmamma/naomiJuly 28, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    I've never liked milk. My mom used to put lots and lots of coffee in my milk to get me to drink it. Now I just drink coffee.

    I love the alternative "milks". Soy, almond, rice, coconut and hemp. They don't give me that yucky, phlegmy feel in my throat, and they don't make my face break out.

  15. I have a few non-dairy friends, and I have to admit that the younger ones seem to feel that it's necessary to try to convert me to a PWDDD. First, I don't want to know what happens to your digestive system if you eat dairy. Okay, I appreciate your concern, yes I know that we're the only creature who consumes milk beyond weaning. We're also the only creatures who drink Margaritas, and I'm not going to stop that either. But I respect your right to avoid either or both.

  16. I love that photo of the cow (the real one). I wonder what he or she is thinking. Probably, "Damn, I could go for a cold glass of milk and some cheese right now."

  17. You know I actually don't like milk (unless its paired with cookies... this is the one exception). But I LOVE cheese! Pretty much can't live without it. I guess that makes me a PWDDM (aka Person Who Doesn't Do Milk). lol!

  18. Dang, Merry - I've never seen you like this before. You know what would cool you off? A nice tall glass of ice cold chocolate milk. Yessirreebob, a big ole glass of moo juice is just what you...oh...wait, um okay how about a couple of scoops of homemade ice cream...nope not that either? How about some, um...well shoot, all I've got on the brain now is dairy products. Fine, I'll take my big dairy-air and go somewhere else! ;) teehee!

  19. I don't care that you don't do dairy. I don't like people who think they know best about other peoples' eating habits. And 9 times out of 10, the nosy person's arguments can be ignored by considering the source.

  20. I like cheese and yogurt. I used to like milk, but haven't been able to drink it for years because it doesn't agree with me. I can' handle it in small doses, but if I have too much I end up with an extremely unhappy tummy.

    You are entitled to not consume dairy, that is your choice. I would only get annoyed if you made it your mission to convince me to stop eating cheese and yogurt.

  21. My husband is lactose intolerant. I couldn't believe how much of an uproar this caused when people were bringing me meals in January and February. I got umm...what can you eat? ...or, this recipe is ok it only has sour cream and cream of celery soup in it, ...or my favorite, butter isn't made from dairy.

    But hey, I am grateful for the food, so I am not complaining! :-)

  22. "they do not have horns, a forked tail, and scales underneath their clothing"

    Oh, yes we do. And there's a reason I use goat milk.

    Seriously, it's tough out there being lactose intolerant. I still sneak a bit now and then. Ya gotta have ice cream. Ya just gotta.

  23. You need you some good AC. I've got mine cranked up full blast. I think I'm gonna go put on a parka... ;)

  24. Alternative Cow Lifestyle? LMAO

    It shouldn't surprise me that you have to deal with these people because Americans sure are a righteous bunch when it comes to our eating habits but DAIRY? WTF? I have been witness to far too many arguments about meat but I've never seen anyone even blink about someone's dairy choices. I guess that's because I don't embrace the alternative cow lifestyle, myself. I tried once but then I realized that I LOVE CHEESE.

  25. No dairy here! It's liquid FAT!

    Plenty of calcium out there in lots of stuff. The key is to prevent calcium loss rather than stress the intake.

  26. I know *I* get cranky if I'm not eating cheese every 34.5 seconds.

    Do not mock the cheese...it is the one reason I couldn't go no dairy. :)

  27. My S.O. is lactose intolerant so we are PWDDD by default ^_^ Oh I drink milk and I'm a great lover of cheese, but for the 90% of my diet that is eaten in the presence of my S.O., Milk Products are out of the question. Mostly because it's just rude to eat something in front of someone who desperately wants to eat some but can't because of the dire consequences.

    I'm sorry about the A/C over there! I hope it gets fixed soon!

  28. I've never been able to drink milk. But I can have it on cereal. Weird. And I like chocolate milk. And I love ice cream, cheese and yogurt.

  29. I'm not a PWDDD, but I'm a PWDVLD (People Who Do Very Little Dairy). This, in part, is due to being lactarded and nearly impossible to be in the same room with when I mow through a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

    The other reason I'm a PWDVLD is because I find it a little strange that humans are the only species who choose to drink another species' milk. Something about that is just not right....

  30. I don't think anyone actually cares if someone doesn't drink milk. I would maybe care if someone were self-righteously explaining why I shouldn't use dairy either, but otherwise who cares?
    I was disappointed. I thought this was going to be an actual entry where you talked about dairy-free, gluten-free, etc fads and people who are actually allergic vs people who just give it up.

  31. Oh Anon, trust me, people care. Even nice people, who worry about what they can feed you when you come over for dinner.

    You sound as cranky as I feel. Is your air conditioning on the fritz as well?

  32. I'm ALMOST a PWDDD. I am allergic to milk solids - not lactose intolerant, but allergic to the solids. Totally different thing. (No, really. My doctor said so.)

    But! It's a blessing and a curse! Know why? Because the higher the fat content in a dairy product, the lower the solid content! Which means I can do butter and cream and even half-and-half. And the REALLY soft cheeses with the super high fat contents. But no low- or non-fat (esp. non-fat, because it's practically ALL milk solids).

    So I'm really glad that I can at least have the occasional piece of cheese, but mostly I don't do dairy. Too much butter and cream CAN'T be good for me. *sob*

    Also, milk products aren't necessarily great sources of AVAILABLE calcium. They tend to also have a lot of phosphorus, which inhibits calcium absorption. So the total calcium content is high, but your body can't get to all of it. (I want to say that the absorption rate is something like 30-50%, depending on the source, but I can't remember where I read that, so take it with a grain of salt. But the available calcium is surprisingly low.)

  33. Good point, Marste! I linked to health.gov's tables on calcium in dairy and non-dairy sources. A footnote in the table mentions that plant sources of calcium are readily absorbed into the system, but they caution that you'd have to eat a lot more plant stuffs to get the same calcium as in a glass of milk.
    They use the term 'bioavailabilty' rather than specifically mentioning phosphorus and other factors.

  34. I do not do cow's milk (which because of FDA rulings means I do not do dairy. Those FDA folks are freaking difficult).

    I am lactose intolerant, I am allergic to casein. It makes me cough and gives me bronchitis. (goat's milk, and sheep cheese otoh are fine in small quantities).

    I only have a problem at places where groups of folk are all fed together -like BlogHer. If I'm lucky enough to find a vegan option, I can eat. But every caterer seems to think that every friggin food in a buffet is better with cow's milk cheese on it. (thanks a lot).

    I am not evil any more than the person allergic to peanuts is evil or the celiac -gluten avoider is evil. Do not hate me because I cough.

  35. Deb, that's why I've started eating Japanese or Chinese food when they're an option: no dairy!

  36. LOVE THE COW PICS!!!!!!!! I feel for your heat prob! It has been pretty dang hot here & no air conditioning in this house & the computer room is the worst so it has made this blog stuff difficult to say the least!!!

    As for dairy.. I love lots of dairy things BUT you would not want to be near me if I ate them,if you get my drift! :-)

  37. Deb,
    I am lactose intolerant, and casein and whey IGG and IGA allergic. Goat milk is okay for you? I haven't tried it but I'd be interested if it's okay.

  38. I absolutely love dairy and have been raised on it but am starting to realize that we don't need it in any way. How weird is it that we are stealing some calf's milk? Milk is for babies, and cow milk is designed for cow babies. That's why it does so much for bones but nothing for human brain development - it's made to help a baby cow grow limbs, not a brain. Add to that the only reason we digest it is because of an enzyme. I love milk but the theory behind why we drink it is a little freaky.

  39. Love the image for this post. I am not non-dairy, BUT I don't drink milk, seldom eat cheese, and only put yogurt in my smoothies. I think its perfectly alright in moderation like anything else in life.

  40. BTW, for any PWDDD who still want ice cream, there's a brand called Coconut Bliss that is dairy and gluten-free, vegan, and sweetened with agave. It may sound a bit off, I know, but it's DE-LISH!!!! Even my ultra-picky 5 year old likes it!
    (And coconut milk is now available in cartons. Also yummers!)

  41. I'm kinda skeered to ask but what are non-dairy people eating to get enough calcium? I know sardines and collards sprinkled with sesame seeds served with soy beans is a calcium-rich meal, but I don't see a lot of people eating those foods.

    Please don't hurt me.

  42. Must have cheese.
    If there were not cheese and Fage yogurt and whey protein powder, half my protein intake would go missing, as I don't always have time to cook even fish, and I could build no muscle and would feel horrible visiting MzFit's blog.

    (Not that that doesn't happen enough already ... the "not taking time to build muscle" part, I mean. *mutter mutter* recession extra work deadlines *mutter mutter*)

    Merry (and Crabby), I've got to say some of these word verifcations are just doozies.

  43. Patty! I'm shocked. Would I hurt you? Unless under duress? Never!

    PWDDD have to be extra careful about the calcium the same way that vegetarians have to double check that B12 stuff. My doc recommends supplements. (Luckily, I eat plenty of plant stuffs and some sardines.) As Dr. J. points out, it's even more important to lift weights and do stuff to make sure you don't lose the calcium you already have.

    Littlem, glad you like the verifications. We like to make it look like they're purely random occurrences, but actually Crabby and I spend a lot of time behind the scenes sorting and rejecting possible word verifications. We strive to make sure each verification has the Quality that we look for in a blog of this caliber.

    Or something like that, anyway.

  44. I wasn't really skeered...just kidding! But I was thinking 100 degrees on the 3rd floor with no A/C was like "code orange" duress! :-)

    The reason I ask is that when I track my food, and actually plan out my meals in advance, it is hard for me to get enough calcium, without supplements or dairy. So for now, I choose dairy over supplements but am always open to reasons for changing it up.

  45. With calcium, the question is not how much calcium is in a foodstuff, it's how much calcium can a human access from it? As Marste pointed out, dairy isn't always that good. I've read several studies, but I haven't linked to them because I frankly thought them crap. Or at least not well done. Subject pools of 8 or 10 people? Forsooth.

    You can use Sparkpeople.com to track how much calcium is in the food that you are eating. Since that doesn't always tell you how much your body is absorbing, I go with supplements to be safe.

    Plus, calcium is a muscle relaxant. It's nice to take at the end of the day when you're trying to unwind. (Please note that if you take thyroid hormone, you want to take that first thing in the morning or at noon, and take calcium or iron supplements in the evening. They don't play nice with each other.)

    Dang. A comment this long makes me wonder if I should make this a post in its own right.

  46. Mmmm dairy. I had cheese tonight and it was tasty.

  47. Poor Merry. It's best to just turn the udder cheek... ;)

  48. Oh Hilary, you would have to milk it... ;)

  49. "Lactarded"!!!! Bwahahahahaha! I am so stealing that.

    Frankly, dairy is the reason I don't go vegan. I could give up eggs, I think, and do for periods of time, but no more butter? No more yogurt/cheese/ice-cream? Milk, I just cannot do anymore, being lactarded & all, and vanilla soymilk tastes better anyway, IMO, but I can't see myself giving up the rest.

    OTOH, I don't care what other people don't eat until I have to cook for them, so PWDDD are no problem for me.

  50. There's a kickass almond milk out there. My sis-in-law who is celiac and lactose intolerant drinks it.
    I snuck a bit out of curiousity...and it's yummy.

  51. Funny post! I have nothing against dairy, nor do I really know whether it's truly healthy or not, but I feel much better when I eat very little of it. And when almond milk is so good, why drink hormoney cow's milk anyway.

    Although I don't think I'll ever give up cheese entirely, I simply like cooking with it too much.

  52. I don't do dairy :) Do I hold it against anyone else? Absolutely not. If I could eat it, I would. For some reason cows do not want me to eat them in any form :) I think it's a commie alien-cow plot.

    On another note, here's a great song about cows: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOFDRtoMGFQ

  53. Lynn, you are clearly a sick and twisted person. Probably why I like you :)

    I loved that one picture of the two cows in a field.

    1st cow: Moo
    2nd cow: You bastard, I was going to say that!

  54. As a newcomer to your site, I have to say I like your style! It's easy to get mad with people in both camps because neither are particularly accommodating or ready to accept the other camp has made an informed choice.

    I've been managing a lactose intolerance but I still manage to include dairy in my diet because certain cheeses (like gorgeous english cheddar and yoghurts) are naturally low in lactose. I have come to see the importance of getting calcium into your diet, particularly now research has indicated that calcium can play a role in helping to break down fat cells.

    However, if I don't want it, I resent people trying to ram things down my throat! Vegan butter still isn't as good as the real thing :(


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