December 11, 2008

Coping with the downturn: a quiz

Guess what? The experts have decided that it's official: we're in a recession.

Gee whiz, really?

Being an economic forecaster is something like being a weatherman reporting on yesterday's news. It's much more interesting to be a blogger, especially on a blog like this one.

How's your economic attitude?

Rather than writing a serious, perceptive, and intellectually challenging post about the economy, it seems like a much better idea to present you with a pop quiz. You've read all about the economy -- if you haven't experienced a layoff, you've probably felt the chill breeze of one pass nearby. Are you prepared, attitudinally, for this economic climate?

The Quiz

A) Your boss calls you into her office and says that you're being downsized.
Your response is to:

1 - Go home, curl up in a dark room, and whimper.

2 - Go out and eat a dozen brownies. (Sugar is good for shock, yeah, that's the ticket.)

3 - Ask her, "Does 'downsize' mean I'll fit into my skinny jeans?"

4 - Put on your running shoes and do a long run... as far from work as possible.

B) The company has decided to enforce time off during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's holiday weeks. In other words, you're taking the time off whether you have vacation time saved up or not. You decide to:

1 - Buy a bunch of stuff at the mall to cheer yourself up.

2 - Eat your way steadily through all the Thanksgiving leftovers, chocolate Advent calendars, and even aunt Agnes' deadly annual fruitcake. It's wasteful to throw away food, plus there's less clutter that way.

3 - Decide to use the time to finish your Great American Novel (or Great Canadian Novel, Great Peruvian Novel, you get the idea). That way, when the company actually does go under, you'll have a book ready to be published.

4 - Spend the time off working out three or four hours a day. Hey, it worked for Madonna.

C) Because of the relatively low cost of gas, your grandmother, mother-in-law, and your aunt Fanny each expect you to drive to their house for a holiday dinner ... on the same day. Do you:

1 - Forge a doctor's note and try to convince the relatives that you're suffering from lethargy, lumbago, and leprosy.

2 - Drive from one house to the next and eat three full dinners.

3 - Delegate the blame decision and let your significant other decide.

4 - Annoy all three by deciding to do what you want to do instead.

Add up the numbers to determine how prepared you are, attitude-wise, for the recession.

3 points. You have a sensitive soul, which in this economy means you're probably going to be toast. Need to try the emotional equivalent of boot camp to toughen up -- or else marry a billionaire until the recession is over.

4 - 6 points. Using food as an emotional band-aid is a bad idea when you're supposed to be tightening your belt. Can you try another approach for dealing with turmoil? (And if so, could you let me know what it is?)

7 - 9 points. You have a nice combination of optimism and sneakiness. If you can find a way to throw in some ruthless cunning and guile, you might make it through this downturn relatively unscathed.

10 - 12 points. Given the fact that people who are obese encounter more job discrimination than people who are fit, you're probably in pretty good shape in both senses of the phrase. Of course, you're going to feel pretty silly about all that exercising when the sensitive soul goes out and marries a billionaire, but that's life.

Well, how did you do? Should I do a post on the number of single billionaires in the world today, or do you think you'll get through this okay?

Graphic: Azrainman


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I'm optimistic and sneaky! I love it... I think that will be the title of my autobiography.

    The economic climate is scary! I'm looking at it this way, the British pound is getting weaker, therefore we are making out ok since we get paid in US dollars, SALES AHOY! Optimistic & ignorant? I'll take that.

  3. Oops, sorry for the delete. It was a misspelled word that was driving me nutso. (Type A-ish)

  4. I got 9 points! I'm both optimistic and sneaky...I can live with that ;)

  5. I'm in the optomistic and sneaky group. Looks like I'll survive this with my head up and pointing my finger at loser co-workers.

  6. I didn't bother taking the quiz (my brain hasn't recovered from the early-morning wakeup yesterday). But I'm optimistic and working out.

  7. Optimistic and sneaky here. The quiz is eerily correct.

  8. You guys crack me up! So far my reaction to the recession has just been a general sense of foreboding that follows me around like a little black cloud. I still get my runs in though. Still holding out hope for the billionaire option though (although since I'm married, I'll have to settle for one of my kids marrying a rich gal!)

  9. Huh, I'm optimistic and sneaky too. But I think my answers are skewed because I hate my job and am secretly hoping to be laid off so I can collect unemployment and marry a billionaire.

    Then I'd be a billionplusmeaslystipendfromgovernmentaire

  10. Another optimistic and sneaky, here! Since I've been unemployed and living on my 95 year old father's pension while I take care of him for more than a year now, I need to be both.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  11. Hey, even I come out optimistic and sneaky! Me, optimistic????

    Loved the quiz. I think there are a lot of folks out there who try to eat their way through stress, and it really isn't the best strategy.

    I'm nervous about the economy but trying to do my best "la la la I can't hear you!".

  12. I don't know what I did wrong, but I got a score of 47. Yes, please post the list of billionaires.

  13. Hm 8 points. Not bad. But then I could have told you before that I'm optimistic and sneaky. (And very self-aware.)

    A propos of nothing, I dreamed that Crabby and Merry lived upstairs in my house! It was great. And they ran a little shop that sold yummy food. The special of the day was a funny cake made out of stacked waffles with caramel filling in between. I didn't get any because they sold out before I could screw myself up to buy one, which was kind of sad, but they were very sympathetic.

  14. Another optimistic and sneaky one here.

    The state of the economy worried me more when gas prices were through the roof. That was the thing that was hurting my bottom line and had me just a wee bit on edge. Since they fell back down and I'm getting by on $10/wk in my tank again I'm a happy camper.

    However, if I should lose my job, I will be the one whimpering in a corner while shoveling brownies down my throat by the pound. So I guess you could say I'm only optimistic 'cause I'm in denial.

  15. The economy doesn't bother me personally at all. That's because I don't actually "own" anything and I live in Canada. Woohoo, thank goodness I'm not committed to anything! Hehe.

  16. Wait, do I only get one answer per question? 'Cuz for example, on A - first I'd go home, curl up and cry...but then I'd smack myself for being stupid and go for a run... *sigh* I never follow the rules. :)

  17. Hmmmn, Melissa... had a dream where I ate all of these delicious waffles and I couldn't understand why Crabby thought that was a bad idea. Now it makes sense.

    Myself, I got a three. Definitely in the curl-up-and-whimper school of thought. But I enjoy hanging around optimistic and sneaky types :)

  18. LOL. God that was fun. I think I'd chow down at first and then become optimistic and sneaky and then eat again. Just my natural pattern.

  19. Scored a 10.5. That's right, 10.5.

    C-3.5 (I would do both 3 and 4, annoying not only the 3 original relatives, but my wife as well. :-) )

  20. Re: C-1 I once called out sick from a bad case of rigor mortis. It worked.

  21. I'm optimistic and sneaky but I knew that without the test.

  22. Wait, can I make up my own answers?

    Number 1: I've got some money stashed, so I'd be ok. In that light, I'd try laughing maniacally and hollering, "I was HOPING you'd say that!!" Why? I'm hoping they'll be worried about my mental stability and double my severance. (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

    Number 2: Actually, I'd probably work my way through ALL those options, and add a 5th: raid the library and lay in bed indefinitely reading EVERY BOOK EVER WRITTEN. Nice!

    Number 3: Have everyone to MY house. Don't want to come? Not my fault anymore!! I did the "good relative" thing by inviting them! :D (Though I would actually like it if they came.)

    Does that work? ;)

  23. i know for a fact my job is safe so thats a huge weight off. my house fund, which is invested freaks me out, though. i WANTED to buy within the next few years, but its dipped so low i dont know if this is feasible anymore.

    Kelly Turner

  24. Denial, it's not just for breakfast anymore.

    It's not the economy that hard. It's all the huge bills I have to pay to help others weather the "economy!"

  25. Economy? Listen all I know is that during my dieting years my body yo-yo'ed up and down with every bit of volatility as the stock market and somehow I survived going from being anorexic to gaining 267% of my body weight. If I can survive that I don't need a quizz to tell me I can survive whatever the economy throws my way. Fun quizz though! Made ma laugh which is always a good thing!

  26. Optimism and sneakiness - thats me in a nutshell.

    This economic situation is scary but I cant let it get me down. There is no point. The only thing I can do is continue starting a business (and other freelance projects) right along my full-time job and continue to save what I can.

  27. Melissa: That's hilarious!

    I swear we will make more caramel-waffle cakes. We would not let you miss out!

    Dreams are so funny, arent't they?

  28. sadly, I know from recent experience that the answer to question A is both 1 and 2 for me.

    I'm burnt toast. I'm going to join my cat and hide under the bed covers.

  29. im pretty sure I would eat an entire house! but also go for those six hour runs, but I'll be sneaky about it.


Thanks for commenting, Cranky Fitness readers are the BEST!

Subscribe to comments via RSS

(Note: Older Comment Threads Are Moderated)