August 21, 2009

Random Friday: Women's Health Edition


Regular readers may be aware that I have a love/hate relationship with women's health and fitness magazines. Like when we had a recent giveaway featuring a fitness magazine? I spent half the post bitching about the cover. This is a great way to attract more blog sponsors and giveaway offers in the future. Way to market the blog, Crabby! Hey, PR folks, come to Cranky Fitness where your clients can offer up free stuff in exchange for ridicule!

However, for all their faults, there's one thing that keeps me coming back over and over again to these frustrating magazines: somehow they manage to dig up all kinds of research tidbits and tips that I've missed. How can this be? Every week I devote hours and hours to scholarly research about health topics random web surfing, yet these folks always seem to find interesting studies that I haven't seen. Is it possible they have access to real scientific journals that I'm too cheap to subscribe to? Or do they just make this sh*t up?

However they do it, it's the motivation for me to plow my way past pages of filler like "How to Find Your Most Flattering Lip Shade." (My trick: I just rely on the last beverage I've consumed. Works fine for cabernet or pomegranate juice; alas, not so great for green smoothies).

So since I already spent the subscription money, how 'bout if I share some of the news finds from the latest edition of Women's Health?

For example, do you know what physiological phenomenon happens naturally to men between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m., and how you can take advantage of it?


First off, though, a warning.



Printed copies of magazines can not hyperlink to their sources without defying the laws of physics. And they're not crazy about ugly footnotes either. So often there's no mention of where they found these studies. Do their editorial standards require something half-way reliable? Let's hope so, because here we go!

What I Learned from the September Issue of Women's Health:

A low glycemic diet can help acne sufferers.

Brunettes can carry a gene variant that dramatically increases risk for melanoma; it's not just blonds and red-heads who have to watch out.

Acute short term stress that eases up quickly can actually be good for you, boosting immunity and reducing the risk of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and Alzheimers. (The theory is that it puts your body into "repair mode.")

Apigenin, a flavonoid found in parsley, celery, and red wine may lower the risk of ovarian cancer.

Need to talk to a guy? Men listen best between 4-6pm, because that's the time when their testosterone levels tend to dip.

Eighty-three percent of meals at tested at 17 big chain restaurants contained more than a days worth of sodium.

Drinking green tea helps prevent gum disease.

A combination of prebiotics and probiotics can reduce symptoms of ulcerative colitis.

You are now allowed to wear white after labor day.

Forty one percent of Americans never check their pantries for recalled food. (And so almost 60 percent do? Reeeealllly?)

Getting sufficient calcium can help you lose weight.

Eating food in a blue-colored room acts as an appetite suppressant.

And finally, the "Guy Next Door" has advice for how you should shave your pubic hair to keep your guy "interested." And heck, this strikes me as so freakishly intrusive and infuriating unusual and offbeat, I thought I'd quote it in full!

"Start with a trimmed-down triangle. After a few weeks, whack it down to a landing strip. Then wait for a special occasion and take it all off. Wait a while, then let the grass grow back the same way it came off--start with a strip, then allow it to gradually fluff up and widen out."

And don't thank me, thank Women's Health!

42 comments:

  1. If I have to shave the pubes to keep him interested then I am not interested in keeping him interested.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think the fact that he can see your pubes means he is interested already.
    And the less sugar I eat, the better my acne is (20 years old and I look like I'm 14 acne-wise).

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've heard about the color thing inducing emotions before...minty blue is suppsed to be calming (which is why a lot of hospitals were painted that color
    I have to say tho - the how to shave your hoo ha article is silly. Take it all off? Hello? ...I just find it bizarre that it is in a women's health magazine...or any magazine...women get enought things we are supposed to look after by society. I'd like to think that what is in my pants is not part of the deal :)

    I am amused about the 4-6 PM thing for men...would hunger cancel it out I wonder? :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's because the male telling the advice, doesn't have to let it all grow back in and the itchness involved in that....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is it okay to wear white after Labor Day if you don't shave?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, I think it just looks like they're listening because they're sleepy and not inclined to interrupt when you're talking. Also applies to women, I'm afraid. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I prefer to sculpt my pubes into tiny topiary mazes. With animals and everything.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Glad I am not the only one who has very mixed feelings about those magazines. I am a regular reader, but they give me plenty of those brief moments of stress (must be good for me?). Why do they talk about good body image, then spend 3/4 of their time telling you how to change your appearance? Why do they encourage you to watch out for eating disorders, then push weight loss in articles and advertising? In fact, why do they advertise so much of the stuff they warn you about in the articles? And why do they offer exercises for "all age groups" and stop at the forties? I'm closer to 60 than to 50, and I can easily do almost all the stuff they suggest for your twenties. But, sigh, they do tell about interesting studies, offer some appealing recipes - though I hardly ever get around to making them - and I keep notebooks of specific exercises that appeal to me & find there are so many variations I will never be able to use boredom as an excuse not to do abs.

    Oh - if you want to be really annoyed, get ahold of Men's Health, the British version, which I recently picked up while traveling. Let's just say the shaving article is small potatoes compared to some of the staggeringly sexist stuff in that one! On the other hand, it devotes several pages to an article on how not to go bald. It's not just women's mags.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm a big fan of Natural Health Magazine myself, maybe they will have an article about how shaving your pubes saves the environment next month.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tiny topiary mazes complete with animals--brilliant idea Jo, I hadn't thought of that! (And there's a joke about a certain dam-building mammal just waiting to made, but I'll take the high road.)

    ReplyDelete
  11. LMAO @ the maze

    You had it right the first time, Crabby - intrusive and infuriating.

    I do like to keep my hedges trimmed but that's not for him...err.. when there is a him to speak of... that's for ME. If he likes it, great, if not, oh well. He doesn't get to tell me what to do with my body hair anymore that I get to tell him what to do with his and believe me I wish more men got with the trimming of the hedges.

    See what you did there? You made it impossible to have a discussion about health by throwing in some random thing about pubes at the end. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that I fully and wholeheartedly disagree with the low testosterone levels in the afternoon...I just saying.
    Womens magazines seem to primarily focused on how to "please your man". Sadly this seems to be happening in fitness magazines effectively reinforcing the idea that a woman's fitness and health is there for male pleasure. If you want to get that message there are plenty of other magazines specifically focused on that pursuit. I wonder if anyone has found a womens health magazine that isn't full of these messages.
    Now on to the inevitable pubes.
    I've figured it out! The reason this article is in a fitness magazine is improved fitness by increased amounts of sex. (That is if the fiery pain of razor burn and ingrown hairs don't cause a decrease in it.) No seriously now, I want the woman I am with to maintain her body in the way she feels best and happiest.
    That being said I'm going to mention the topiary maze thing in passing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. If he needs a landing strip to find his way there, he's not worth the effort!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. So does smarty-pants Guy Next Door have advice on how to deal with the stubble? Hm? I thought not.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Leah said my thoughts EXACTLY. My pubes are groomed (or not) for MY comfort level. I always think men should try waxing their balls before asking anyone to do so.

    Oh and this: "My trick: I just rely on the last beverage I've consumed. Works fine for cabernet or pomegranate juice; alas, not so great for green smoothies)." is why I love you!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Heard about the color thing before. That is why diners served a "blue plate" special.

    What it is with this younger generation and the shaving of the pubes? I'm not suffering through the grow-out itch for any man. (besides it would make the hubby very suspicious!)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yah, I'm going to stick to commenting on women's health/fitness magazines...I've had a subscription to Fitness Magazine for a loooong time; I think I started buying it way back when it first came out and there was one issue every two months. Anyway, I kept reading it because I found it motivating - even when it was a lot of the same stuff over and over...But lately I'm finding I can't be bothered. As you say, there are often interesting little tidbits buried in there, but I'm getting tired of being told how easy it is to drop 10 lbs...Lies! All lies!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. A testosterone dip right at dinner time. Typical. Just like a man to stop thinking about sex (and pube shaving, apparently)long enough to eat.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just want everyone to know that there is a movement afoot that is encouraging men to do some trim jobs in the pube sector as well.

    A friend of mine is an esthetician and quite a bit of the waxing portion of her business is "Brozillians", if you know what I'm saying (and if you don't, that means guys are getting the whole kit and caboodle waxed down there. And I mean everything - front and back, up and down.)

    According to my friend, it's really gaining in popularity.

    So, the point is taken that systematic pubic hair removal for women in order to keep your man interested is lame, but for those saying that guys wouldn't do it, think again because a lot of them are.

    ReplyDelete
  20. OK, this was too funny! I am like you though. I read the mags more for new exercise routines/moves & food info & I am not really into a lot of the beauty stuff because I never was good at it & it changes every issue & I have no idea how to use it even though I should know & oh hell, I just am clueless & reading it does not help. I need a person to do it for me!

    On the pubic hair, why is it that women always have to make the effort! Jeez, men, make an effort too. Maybe you should shave all that hair off your back or tweeze whatever is coming out of that nose & ears of yours.. OK, I am done with that. Thx for the laugh on that one!

    I will say that I am lucky to have a good guy & he listens all the time.. OK, he nods & says yes so to me all the time so that is listening! :-)

    As for the sodium, now that CA has the law about nutritional content required on the table of chain restaurants, well, I looked at it & not only the calories & fat is bad, I was actually surprised about the sodium. I knew it was high BUT there were A LOT of items with sodium content in the 3000-5000mg range. HOLY CRAP!

    Thx for a fun & informative post!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I just recently started coming here regularly last month. Do you do any men's fitness magazine reviews/giveaways/bashings?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Loving all the funny shaving comments!

    And Rahim, unfortunately our giveaways are limited to whatever sponsors will give to us for free, and so far these seem mostly aimed towards women.

    We probably should get better about exploring male topics of interest too though, but as two female bloggers we tend to go with what we know. Hmm, maybe a funny guest post by a male fitness blogger someday?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh lord, I can't stand ~*~womens' health n' stuff~*~ magazines, they're all a teeny bit of useful advice smothered in ten tons of LOSE 10 POUNDS BY THE TIME YOU FINISH READING THIS ARTICLE!!!!111!!!1 crapola.

    Need to talk to a guy? Men listen best between 4-6pm, because that's the time when their testosterone levels tend to dip.

    LOL, OK.

    Eighty-three percent of meals at tested at 17 big chain restaurants contained more than a days worth of sodium.

    Now this I believe. In fact, it seems to me like a single McDonald's french fry contains a day's worth of sodium. And yet they beckon me. Oh, how they beckon.

    You are now allowed to wear white after labor day.

    OH WELL THANK GOD FOR THAT --not that I wear white at all, because when I wear it, it seems to attract spilled/dropped food and drinks (both mine and others'), cat hair, mysterious black grease from unknown sources, and so on.

    Forty one percent of Americans never check their pantries for recalled food.

    When the big peanut butter scare hit, the mostly empty jar of Peter Pan at work had the Lot Number Of Doom on the lid. I shrugged and made a PB&J. I seriously doubted all the salmonella got together and said "okay so here's what we do, we all hang out at the bottom of the jar, they'll never see that coming..." And I did not die.

    And finally, the "Guy Next Door"--

    The "guy next door" needs to worry about his own damn thatch and never mind anyone else's. (but spit-take-LOL at Jo's topiary maze idea)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Am I the only one that misread about checking their pantries for recalled food as checking their panties?

    The Brit version has me hoppin mad this month for assuming that we all live in England. I know of one Scottish reader at least and suspect there might even be at least one other in Wales or Ireland.

    Thank goodness I now know how to shave my pubes. So essential to my health and fitness that.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Funny stuff, and I don't only mean yours, Crabby!

    I like Men's Health mag. I've long referred to it as Cosmo for men. I may have to start reading this one also. Good way to learn about the "enemy." :-)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Aren't health and fitness mags just Cosmo and Elle with different covers?

    ReplyDelete
  27. OMG I loathe that magazine soooooooo much. I got a free sub for doing something else (can't remember what) and it makes me shriek every month. So much better off with Womens' Running and Weight Watchers magazine.

    ReplyDelete
  28. P.S. I want Jo to post pics of the topiary! Complete with little animals!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. What is this facination by (some)men for hairless hoo ha's? Maybe it is my age showing here, but it just seems wrong in a sort of creepy way to me. Let's face it, it looks like a pre-pubescent girl's that way....

    However, topiary mazes complete with animals? Very cool!

    ReplyDelete
  30. "Need to talk to a guy? Men listen best between 4-6pm, because that's the time when their testosterone levels tend to dip."

    There's ... a lot of meta-information in those two sentences.

    I'm not even going to touch the topiary issue. Are these people not familiar with the concept of ingrowns? Or do they not give the proverbial hoot?
    (I just said I wasn't going to get into it, didn't I?)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Gosh, they don't even mention what I was considering:
    Braiding. Then he would have to unbraid it when it's time to get down to business. Sort of like opening a present.

    I have to disagree with the 4-6pm low testosterone thing. My husband gets home from work at 4:15, and he's definitely ready to go for it if the kids aren't around.

    ReplyDelete
  32. "Printed copies of magazines can not hyperlink to their sources without defying the laws of physics."

    This is why I love you. [laughing too hard to type]

    ReplyDelete
  33. LOL oh my hell! I can't even remember the first part of your post all I can think and say is is oh my hell! still LOL

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thanks for the laughs!!! (Surely just as good for you as the little stressors, right?
    It took me a long time, but I have ended my addiction to fitness mags. I just don't read them anymore.
    And I just LOVE (heavy sarcasm here) when guys write in womens' magazines about the things we "should" do to "keep them interested." I just want to pat them on the head and tell them that they'll understand when they grow up, and give them a lollipop. (And yes, "Mens' Health," particularly the British version, is AWFUL!)

    ReplyDelete
  35. LOVED the braiding suggestion.

    I cannot imagine shaving There. I really can't. What is even more difficult to imagine is having a relationship with someone who would have any sort of expressed preference on the matter. Uncritical enthusiasm is the only viewpoint leading to continued access.

    ReplyDelete
  36. "Let's face it, it looks like a pre-pubescent girl's that way...."

    Egg zactly. That's the whole point and it is sick. It enables pedophile fantasies and is the current rage in porn. I did it once (for an ex as a youth) and never again, I'm sure people thought I had um CRABS if they caught me shifting uncomfortably when seated in public, it was insanely itchy.

    I misread it as 4-6 AM and thought Well, yeah, I know what happens then!

    I love the beverage as lip coloring tip!

    ReplyDelete
  37. The topiary jokes reminded me of Sarah Haskins's hilarious spot on shaving... The ads she shows are really, um, amazing.

    http://current.com/items/89975180_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-your-garden.htm

    ReplyDelete
  38. Ahahaha that quote is hilarious.

    Wine is definitely my drink of choice so that I never have to buy lipstick ;)

    Next time I go on a date with a guy, I'll make sure I schedule it to last for two hours starting promptly at 4pm.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I've been looking up sodium lately in restaurants... they are horrific. It doesn't surprise me that there would be days worth of sodium in one meal. I really do think Congress should pass a law on this. So many people would be so much healthier!

    ReplyDelete
  40. you have done a good job. i like your posting its so useful. thanks for this.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Not sure where I count in that "checking food for recalls" thing. I don't check my pantry for recalls, but I've also never heard of a recall on something I've purchased, since I mainly keep my kitchen stocked with produce, meats, condiments/spices, and pasta/grains. There are rarely recalls on those.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I like your post. It also amazes me that as wide as resources and journals on the net may be available, these kind of mags still get to have interesting and better topics. How can that be? Great blog anyway. keep posting!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting, Cranky Fitness readers are the BEST!

Subscribe to comments via RSS

(Note: Older Comment Threads Are Moderated)