By Crabby McSlacker
So one might wonder: where the hell did the Crab go? She barely got back to blogging before skipping town yet again, not managing even one meager blog post in the last two weeks. And sorry, this is one of those disjointed rambles accompanied by random photos. Longtime readers may recall this is customary after I come back from a trip having left half my brain cells behind.
Anyway, we actually went to a couple of different destinations...
These Vagabond Shoes...
One of the places where they're always longin' to stray, well it's not all that mysterious, it's New York City. Short visit this time but a blast just the same.
While my superachiever spousal unit toiled doing Important Corporate Things, I wandered the modern art museums, roamed the 'hoods, sipped cappuccinos and of course stood in line for obligatory half-price theater tickets. We went to the Carole King one this time, Beautiful, which couldn't have been more fun even if it wasn't exactly Checkov or Kafka or Pinter. (We weren't in the mood for anything disturbing or surreal or angst-provoking, we have the evening news for that). Instead we opted to be blissfully happy, hearing dozens and dozens of old songs we love, and basked in the bubbly afterglow for several days afterwards.
But I didn't take any pictures in New York this time. I've been there a lot and already have a bunch.
It's funny, the more I travel and the more ancient I get... the less time I want to spend taking pictures and the more time I want to just immerse myself in the experience of being somewhere. Which would make a lot more sense if one of my favorite hobbies wasn't blogging.
But this curious aversion meant I was practically the only one in the whole city not staring either at my phone, or through my phone, every goddamn second.
Museums were especially weird, with visitors compulsively taking photos of each painting as though compiling some sort of catalog. Is it really possible to absorb the wonder of it all through a lens? I mean, sure, a photo or two so you remember where you were, but... holy fuck, all those Kandinsky's at the Guggenheim? So powerful in real life, hanging there big and brash and bursting with color and emotion, and I wanted some companionship in Awe, damn it! (I love it when I see others as swept up as I am). But, alas, snatching phones out of people's hands and screaming at them to just enjoy the art... I'm afraid it's frowned upon. So I didn't.
It's possible I might have been drinking a few too many cups of coffee during my visit.
Oh and I'll mention that I dutifully hit the hotel gym every morning, and just generally walked my ass off, since this is at least theoretically a health and fitness blog.
But what about the other destination? It was farther away and I do have a few random photos from it, thanks mostly to The Lobster who is a little more sensible about chronicling our wanderings.
Wanna drag this thing out and guess where we went? I don't know why in my mind that makes for a more legitimate blog post than just putting up random photos, but I did it for Hong Kong and several of you figured it out, so what the hell, let the guessing begin.
Hint Number One: Fancy-Ass Resort Location
It was one of those opulent corporate events meant to reward people who worked hard and accomplished great things. Obviously, I was not one of these folks. I just married my way in. Anyway, it is the sort of destination that has a bunch of high end resorts, not the sort of digs we would have stayed in if we were on our own dime.
Yes, each "room" was a two building villa with its own private pool. A truly spectacular squandering of resources that we took full advantage of.
Nice restaurants on the property with indoor and outdoor seating (at resort-hostage pricepoints, making them the sort we only go to if someone else is paying).
Hint Number Two: Pretty Beaches
Hint Number Four: There were Lots of Iguanas
Not pictured are other strange beasts: one that looked like a rabbit-sized rat, another that was a creepy cross between a racoon and a monkey. And cool-looking giant lizards that ran on their hind legs like miniature dinosaurs.
Hint Number Five: Lots of Activities
Swimming and Snorkeling!
Note: if you look closely you can see the faceprint of the snorkel mask in the photo above, and be assured it was still present at the formal awards dinner that night, making a super-suave impression.
Not pictured but also present for our viewing pleasure: fucking amazing fish of all different colors and sizes, manta rays, squealing kids, sunburnt tourists.
Biking and Kayaking!
I grew to love my trusty 1-speed!
Dork alert! Fellow dorks, here's a hint: when being approached by camera-bearing creatures, be sure to raise your arm in an awkward half-wave to indicate you are not at all threatening.
Eating stupid things just because they were free!
My favorite activity by far.
Hint Number Six: Celebrities for Breakfast!
image: wikimedia commons
Staying at our hotel, eating breakfast just a few tables away from us two mornings in a row, was a prominent sports figure. While she was there she shared her "baby bump" photo via social media. The Lobster was going to pose herself against the exact same background and share her "breakfast bump" (the buffet was massive and delicious) but opted for discretion.
So, anyone planning any vacations this summer? Or have a guess about where Crabby and the Lobster went before they stopped in the Big Apple?