My last post was a whiny one, full of petty complaints. And I knew that when I posted it.
It was sort of a therapeutic exercise for me. (And, I hoped it might be helpful for anyone else who found themselves likewise discouraged about whatever they'd been trying to achieve).
But I left all kinds of things out! Like for one, how wonderful and patient the Lobster has been while I've been such a grump.
And also, the larger context of how insanely lucky and privileged I am, and how grateful I am for so many blessings I have. Seriously, how annoying must it be to be facing true hardship and hear someone who is healthy and well provided for bitching about their inability to keep their workouts "fun" and their waistline under control?
And yet... isn't it weird how sometimes knowing that you are ridiculously fortunate and are being petty doesn't make you feel better, it just adds another level of feeling crappy because you realize what a superficial ungrateful asshole you are?
But you guys were there, being all supportive and non-judgey, and allowed me to be real even when it wasn't particularly fun or informative reading. It's reconnecting me with what I love most about having a blog!
card: Andrew Steele
(And special thanks to one reader in particular who probably knows who she is).
Anyway, another thing I left out was that I'd also hurt my back a few days ago, which I somehow thought wasn't a big deal, but it turns out now the PT has banned me from even more activities than I'd foreseen while I take a step back and let things heal.
So the objective shit hasn't gotten any better. And I've been having computer problems and we have family staying with us and are kinda overscheduled. And there are some life complications I won't bore you with. Again, all trivial stuff.
But now... I am feeling much better about the trivial stuff!
I know I will figure out what my next steps are, and get excited about them, and bore you to tears with all the details.
But getting to air my frustrations and getting your support helped me get my perspective back. I truly GET it now, emotionally and not just intellectually, that none of this is a big deal compared to all that I have that is so awesome. But I couldn't do that all by myself.
Also, I've decided to interpret your kind responses to my kvetching as a permissive "go ahead and take a step back and stop with the self-flagellation already!" sort of message, whether you meant it more generally or not. So I'll jut hope that you guys don't give that much of a crap that this is sort of an "off" week on the blog.
But I'll be sure to put up the book giveaway winners on Friday, and we have some interesting researchy stuff coming up next week. I appreciate your patience.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, YOU ROCK!