July 16, 2014

Whine Not?

My last post was a whiny one, full of petty complaints. And I knew that when I posted it.

It was sort of a therapeutic exercise for me.  (And, I hoped it might be helpful for anyone else who found themselves likewise discouraged about whatever they'd been trying to achieve).

But I left all kinds of things out! Like for one, how wonderful and patient the Lobster has been while I've been such a grump.

And also, the larger context of how insanely lucky and privileged I am, and how grateful I am for so many blessings I have.  Seriously, how annoying must it be to be facing true hardship and hear someone who is healthy and well provided for bitching about their inability to keep their workouts "fun" and their waistline under control?

And yet... isn't it weird how sometimes knowing that you are ridiculously fortunate and are being petty doesn't make you feel better, it just adds another level of feeling crappy because you realize what a superficial ungrateful asshole you are?

But you guys were there, being all supportive and non-judgey, and allowed me to be real even when it wasn't particularly fun or informative reading.  It's reconnecting me with what I love most about having a blog!

(And special thanks to one reader in particular who probably knows who she is).

Anyway, another thing I left out was that I'd also hurt my back a few days ago, which I somehow thought wasn't a big deal, but it turns out now the PT has banned me from even more activities than I'd foreseen while I take a step back and let things heal.

So the objective shit hasn't gotten any better. And I've been having computer problems and we have family staying with us and are kinda overscheduled. And there are some life complications I won't bore you with. Again, all trivial stuff.

But now... I am feeling much better about the trivial stuff!

I know I will figure out what my next steps are, and get excited about them, and bore you to tears with all the details.

But getting to air my frustrations and getting your support helped me get my perspective back.  I truly GET it now, emotionally and not just intellectually, that none of this is a big deal compared to all that I have that is so awesome. But I couldn't do that all by myself.

Also, I've decided to interpret your kind responses to my kvetching as a permissive  "go ahead and take a step back and stop with the self-flagellation already!" sort of message, whether you meant it more generally or not.  So I'll jut hope that you guys don't give that much of a crap that this is sort of an "off" week on the blog.

But I'll be sure to put up the book giveaway winners on Friday, and we have some interesting researchy stuff coming up next week.  I appreciate your patience.



  1. You are definitely in a slump there--you didn't mention family visiting and computer problems! My ISP is presently running at slower than dial-up speeds--has been for 3 days, they keep saying they will clear up the "line issues"--and that alone has me extremely cranky. Throw in some family and a back problem.... Yikes! Fussing a little bit about aggravations doesn't mean you don't appreciate the big picture. Hope your back gets better soon.

  2. In case I haven't mentioned it lately…I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! One line in this particular post had me laughing right out loud!!!

    Hope your back heals quickly, that your computer problems disappear, and you enjoy the time with family.

  3. lol! Don't be too hard on yourself! We are lucky to be able to complain about trivia :-)

    I see you as only taking a small step back as you prepare, in time, to take that great leap forward! Or sideways if that is more crab like.

  4. In ST:TNG the Enterprise was being hit by space shock waves ( or the like, it's been years). The shields did nothing and were crippled by the wave. When the fourth wave hit they kept the shields down and let it roll over them. It was harmless. I have adopted this philosophy as my own: I offer no resistance.
    It may work for others.
    And whine as you see fit.

  5. I love Dr J's mention of the sideways crab style walk! What a great reminder that there's more than one direction in life and it ain't always all nice and linear :) Me - I tend to go around in circles and end up back where I started. So, the sideways approach at least gets you somewhere and in quite the interesting manner :) We faithful readers love that!.....

    1. Spiral. Circles that go somewhere!

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

    2. Every path we walk alone.
      For the first time, for the last time,
      Footprints never to be retouched or understood easily.
      But rejoice!
      Understanding comes in the end,
      As it was so clealy understood in the beginning!

  6. I think we tend to go in cycles... get mad and frustrated about things, then step back and be thankful for the good stuff (and that it isn't worse)! It's okay to have ALL of those feelings! Thanks for sharing them with us. (And I hope things look brighter soon).

  7. One forum i love has a thread about first world problems. Each day, several of us post a problem that, in the big scheme of how many people don't have it so good, is trivial, but bothering us. We acknowledge that it's a silly little problem in our posting, and end it by being thankful for what we do have, but it just makes you feel better to get it out.

  8. HEY - IF YOU HAVE TO GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST, get it off your chest!!! :)

  9. One does not come to a blog with "cranky" in its name for uninterrupted cheerfulness and enthusiasm.

    (Sympathy for the back and related restrictions!)
    Mary Anne in Kentucky

    1. Excellent comment, Mary Anne! Completely agree,

  10. Well I missed the previous post(s) but I never find you to be overly cranky. It's in your blog title anyway.. so that's your prerogative anyway. Glad you're feeling better though. :)

  11. So it's crappy timing that I've been offline with relatives in town etc, but at least wanted to pop in and say again how grateful I am for all of you being supportive and putting up with me and offering your thoughts!

    You guys ROCK!!!

  12. I am so sorry about the new pain.. this age thing sucks! I love reading whether you are complaining or not cause it all comes off as fun!

  13. ahhhhh Im with jody.
    we luuuuve your voice whining or not :-)

  14. Very late to the party, but I just wanna affirm that there's nothing wrong with complaining when it's done in a self-aware manner. It's the tone-deal and context-free whom people want to throttle. My best friend--yes, best friend--once called me whining that she'd gotten stopped by the cops for a traffic violation, got a ticket, and in the delay, missed her massage appointment, and thus had The Worst Day Evah. Meanwhile, my son, her godson, was in the midst of a two month long psychiatric hospitalization, being diagnosed with something that was at the time terrifying to me, and I was crying for hours every day. Um, yeah. As long as you're not (and you Crabby appear to never be) playing the Worst Day Sweepstakes with anyone whom a second's thought should make apparent is the winner, a little therapeutic whining is never ever wrong.

    Sloppy internet hugz and I hope your back is better soon!

  15. I love that you keep your blog real. None of us are happy and/or healthy all the time and you should be able to share the not so great things without any judgement!!!
    Hope your back is better!!!

  16. Well your blog does say "cranky" - so you should be allowed to complain on it.
    I hope things sort themselves out soon.

  17. Hi there, just wanted to tell you how useful and inspiring your website is! :) thank you for all that you post and your honesty!
    i just started my new blog too: back2happymom.blogspot.com and I am so excited. thanks again!


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