June 11, 2014

Don't You Hate...

photo credit: James Vaughan

By Crabby McSlacker

So the title: "Don't you hate" is not an injunction to go around loving everything all the time. It's actually the beginning of a question, like "Don't you hate... creaky crappy machines at the gym that management never ever fixes even though you're paying them a fortune in membership dues?"

Let's bring some Crankiness back to Cranky Fitness, shall we?

Because while I've personally found that the annoying experts are actually right with the whole "try to look on the bright side of things" advice (and as a lifelong whiner and pessimist, I'm getting way better), I think there's a limit to how much we can bullshit ourselves. Sometimes things are unnecessarily aggravating, and especially if there's any Culpability and Blame to toss around, it can be helpful to wallow in self-righteous indignation for a moment or two in order to shake it off and move on.

I may even start an occasional Pissy Post sort of feature!  This would be nothing other than a few petty grievances of mine and a chance for anyone else who wants to gripe, moan, or rant about sundry annoyances of their own, large or small, to chime in in the comments. (But as regulars around here know, I often announce new blog features that never actually materialize.)

Anyway, what's Crabby hatin' on this week?

Sneaky Spring Mix Salad.

I eat a lot of salad, and I love the  variety of green things you get in some of these mixes and everything's already washed so it's way convenient.  The small sizes and bags are ridiculously expensive, but the big-ass containers actually contain a lot of produce for the price, even if they ain't cheap.


Mostly, all goes well, which is why I keep buying them!

And sometimes, you can tell from the outside that there are going to problems ahead. Frustrating, because then I've got to find alternative greenery, but at least I've been given fair warning.


What I HATE though, is when I've already bought a package than looks just fine, then I discovering a bunch of slimy rotting pieces inside that stick to everything else.  It can take forever to sort through and turn over every tiny leaf and try to salvage a single salad out of the seemingly vast contents of the container.

It's almost always a particular kind, one of the red ones but I don't know what it's called.



So, salad people: if this particular lettuce variety is gonna go bad first and ruin everything else, please stop putting it in your freakin' spring mix!!

Fear of Roasted Vegetables

Last night, as I was about to put these pans in the oven, I got a sudden familiar creepy feeling of dread.


Not of the vegetables, which eventually turned out lovely, but of...


Our super-sensitive, hard-wired, no-way-to-temporarily-take-out-the-battery smoke alarm.  I HATE that thing!

When it goes off, fairly unpredictably, it is very loud. Towels must be rounded up and waved melodramatically underneath it and every window in the house cranked up and quite a production made.

Someday we will replace it but the hardwiring thing makes in beyond a DIY job and meanwhile, I live in fear every time I use the damn oven.

Dance Tunes With Unexpected Not-Funny Self-Promotional Talking In Them

So I downloaded a catchy tune I found somewhere by "Duck Sauce" and did my change the bpm to 160 thing, and was rocking out when, about three minutes in, there is this horrible prank type phone call to a Chinese take out place that's all about repeating the words "Duck Sauce" over and over, and whether it's fake or real I don't give a crap, but why on earth would anyone want to hear that at all, let alone more than once when they are working out or dancing or whatever?   And I swear I downloaded another song once with something similar.  WTF??? 




However, here's the interesting bonus about HATING:


Image: Fotopedia

When you've got an annoyance that hasn't been properly ranted about, it tends to loom large.  Once you put it down in print, it frees you up for more lovin'!

And guess what? The search for the Duck Sauce video led me to 1980's Ring Me Honey version which I'd never heard. (And I always feel stupid when I confuse a cover for an original).  While the beat is not as catchy in the old one, what's not to love about the shiny boots and awkward dancing and hairstyles and jumpsuits?

L-O-V-E.

See how that works?





What about you guys, anything you're hatin' these days?

47 comments:

  1. Two months ago I could have exceeded your word count in listing my aggravations. Life, however, is superb right now and so my hate for things is currently unusually low for me. I hate the way Glad cling wrap isn't packaged with support for the tear side, so within a few uses, instead of tearing cleanly off, it just folds in until the box is collapsed on itself (in my extreme aggravation with this, I wrote Glad a scathing email regarding their poor packaging, and got a coupon for $10 off any Glad products in return...ooops, sorry). Speaking of packaging, I hate the kind of plastic packaging that you cannot open without garden shears (why are fragile light bulbs packaged in thin cardboard, while metal picture-hangers are protected by thick plastic you can't get into?). We use our own grocery bags, but if we forget them, why do baggers put *one* thing in each plastic bag? Hmm, guess I still have some aggravation in me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because the plastic bags are too flimsy to hold anything heavy! Arrgh, yes, pet hate. I take my own bag to one grocery, but at the other one I get plastic bags, because they fit my kitchen garbage can perfectly, and why would I buy bags in order to throw them away???
      Thanks, Peggy. I was having trouble thinking of anything I hate as much as over-sensitive smoke detectors.

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

      Delete
    2. My smoke detector got ripped off the ceiling after the third or fourth time it went off when I was making toast. It didn't want me to scramble eggs, either, whether or not the kitchen window was open. I had carefully chosen one with a delay button you could push with a broom handle, but it turned out the delay was NINE SECONDS! For real? I didn't so much rip it off as beat it to death with the broom handle. Now I only have a smoke detector on the second floor, which since my wood stove is on the first floor is slightly worrisome in the winter. However, I'm going to cook what I want to cook, and until I can find a door for the kitchen, I can't have a smoke detector in the hall.
      I have a generalized hatred of Things That Don't Work, of which smoke detectors are a particularly evil example.

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

      Delete
    3. We use those plastic bags to wrap stuff like chicken bones, etc. in before we put them in the trash can so they don't make it smell bad prematurely, and we use them for bathroom wastebasket liners, so we too keep some on hand. When we take our own bags, they always want to wrap all meat in a plastic bag and also bug spray and so on, so if I don't watch them, we end up going home with a bunch of plastic anyway. The other day I had to say "no plastic" about 3 times and the guy was trying to help so he started to put all our produce in just one produce bag. Well, we use those produce bags for litter box scooping, so I felt like an idiot saying "Oh, well, except for those, we LIKE those."

      I have weird juju with smoke detectors. An inordinate number of times that I have stayed in a vacation rental house, the detector, mounted too high on a wall for me to reach, picks 3:00 am to have a low battery, and bleeps at me all night.

      Delete
    4. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 3:51 PM

      OK, you guys are cracking me up! Oh, and on the plastic bag thing? I hate when the ones from the grocery stores have holes in them making them totally un re-usable. Is it to keep kids from choking, maybe? But what are the chances a kid would line up just right and the hole would save them? Better for parents of little ones to stick to paper or at least not bag their infants..

      Delete
    5. I had a friend of my brothers come over and beat my smoke detector to death. I never perceived violence in him before but he just grabbed it and stomped it and then asked how much a replacement would cost. Was one of the most startling things I have ever seen!

      Delete
    6. Pretty much the only thing that happens for me when I try to tear the Glad cling wrap is I cut myself and butcher the cling wrap!!
      And, plastic bags bagged by most sackers are the worst!

      Delete
  2. Mr. Duck Sauce was indeed irritating. Ring Me, Honey…truly retro clothes, hair, and dancing. Reminds me of grade eight dances.

    I don't like to use the "h" word, but I will say missing buses and bus connections really grates on my nerves. My new job involves taking two buses and the bus planets are not in alignment. It is a great teaching in patience though…especially when I can almost reach out and touch the bus I am missing.

    And because I annoyingly like to counter a whine with an attitude of gratitude, I am so grateful for the times The Boss is able to drop me off AND pick me up. So sweeeeeeet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel you, Kimberley. I used to have a commute that involved two trains and on the way home the transfer was not timed. I could generally see the other train coming into the station at the same time as mine, so I'd get all ready to shoot out the door, Marion Jones it down the escalator and across the station and back up the other elevator (two at a time, Crabby!) and about one time in ten I'd be able to get on the second train. The other times generally the doors would shut just as I reached the platform. The one in ten was enough to keep me sprinting, though...

      Man I'm glad I ditched that commute! =)

      Delete
    2. Yep I used to have a 3 bus commute and only bus #1 followed the schedule. The other 2 were packed to the rafters and got there when they could. I could be an hour late to work or an hour early. No way to predict.

      Delete
    3. Oh and this bus trip was before 5AM in the morning! Don't even bother trying it after 6AM you won't get there.

      Delete
    4. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 3:55 PM

      OMG, I always think of non-car commuting as less stressful, but these sound awful! Mine were always off a subway with short pleasant walks on either side on popular lines where there was always another car coming if you just missed one. Am impressed at the sprinting involved but sheesh, how frustrating!

      Delete
  3. Death Ride GrandmaJune 11, 2014 at 11:30 AM

    My vegetable issue is more general: I find all prepackaged produce very annoying. Too often the part you can't see is the part that would make you put it back on the shelf. Smoke detectors, yup, seriously annoying. But what I come closest to all - out hating these days is the increasing number of drivers who love to "thread the needle" and who appear to have a misguided trust in their ability to judge the precise size of the needle ' s eye. Grrrr.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 3:57 PM

      So with you DRG on the insane drivers as well as the prepackaged produce!

      Maybe we should through the rotting produce at the stupid drivers? Eh, probably get us shot.

      Delete
  4. I love that video. It so very quasi-ABBA-esque.
    Meanwhile, I can find plenty of stuff I am against and don't like and want nothing to do with, but I can't work up a proper hatin' at the moment.
    Sorry.
    I'll go quietly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 3:58 PM

      Good for you Leah, no apologies necessary!

      Delete
  5. I'm am on day 2 of an unusual Life is Grand sashay through my day thing! All because out of nowhere my trainer had me use machines for 4 exercises. He never uses machines! I forgot how much I loved them or maybe I didn't love them before! So uncomplicated! Then we went back to my usual body weight functional fitness stuff and it was back to shoulders down, elbows in, don't arch your back, pelvic tilt, go lower, keep the shoulders down, keep your balance, butt in and go lower! I just gushed all over the man. He says its not going to happen again for many months, but hey I didn't know it was even an option.
    Why do gym staff let people bang the weights on the machines? I don't want to discourage a beginner so I leave them alone but staff should being giving instruction to these people not watching and rolling their eyes. Annoying!!
    Red lettuce is often bitter and gives me heartburn so stop sneaking it into my salad or sandwich!
    Gee even in a good mood you give me a forum too complain and I can fill a page! Better stop now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 3:59 PM

      Never stop, Cindy! :) But it's interesting that several Cranketeers seem to be quite cheerfully Lovin' rather than Hatin' these days and I think that's just awesome!

      Delete
  6. When you are angry, or sad, or feeling any "negative" emotion, it can help to set a timer for 5-15 minutes (depending upon the severity of the situation) and gripe and moan and cry for that length of time, writing it out if needed. Then, when the bell rings on the timer, you've gotten it out of your system.

    Right now, i'm cranky about something i've looked forward to in the fall that may not pan out. Part of it is someone's fault specifically, and nothing i can do or say to convince the person and change it, either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:01 PM

      Great idea Messymimi!

      But I'd need to set a really LONG timer if someone messed with a special outing or event I was really looking forward to, hope they change their mind!

      Delete
  7. Crabby, I just turn the breaker off on the hardwired smoke detector that's in the hall outside my kitchen.

    My annoyance today (besides the fact that I'm stuck home waiting for my new washer to be delivered) is that it's taking a whole week for FedEx to get the box of Quest bars I ordered from Nevada to Massachusetts. Is it coming by covered wagon or something?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:05 PM

      Same thing happened to me MA, and those Quest bar boxes used to arrive moments after I even thought of ordering them!

      Mine took FOREVER and I was forced to eat a leftover power bar from the natural food expo that had soy in it which, for the zillionth time, I've determined doesn't agree with me. But I ate it anyway, because I'm 5 years old and feel I Deserve my one junky processed treat and I blame Quest for it. They need faster stagecoaches!

      Delete
    2. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:06 PM

      P.S. Quest should really be freakin' springing for our bars anyway, we're bloggers and we're always talking about 'em! Sheesh. It's never the stuff you actually want that the PR people want to give you for free. Sigh.

      Delete
    3. Turn the breaker off, why didn't I think of that...I ripped mine down, three of them ,and beat them to death. Man,, if I'd thought of the breaker, I'd feel so much smarter right now!

      Delete
  8. Ooh! Ooh! I have a help!

    My hard-wired, super-sensitive smoke detectors make me crazy, too--but I have tamed them. I bought a pack of thick shower caps (dollar store) and rigged up loops of thin bungee cord with barrel lock closures (REI). Now, any time I plan to turn the oven above 400 or stir-fry or cook a steak or whatever I slip a shower cap over the detectors in my kitchen and living room and secure it tightly with the locking bungee. Works like a charm! About $2 in materials, 5 minutes of time and no signs of wear after five years. Just remember to take them off after you're done cooking...or at least don't blame me when your house burns down and you die in your sleep. kthanx

    The list of things that annoy me would undoubtedly hit the character limit for blog comments, but I hope there is reserved a special place in hell for people who take public transit after bathing in fragrance (I find both genders do this). I can bury my eyes in a book and plug my ears with headphones, but when I have to haul out the bandanna to cover my mouth and nose that's a step too far. Yes, I do carry a bandanna at all time for exactly this purpose. I wish I were kidding.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I call down blessings on you, as I add shower caps to my shopping list!

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

      Delete
    2. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:08 PM

      What a wonderful idea Ess Bee!!! Much cheaper than an electrician. I'm with Mary Anne, thank you!

      And so glad the comment section is letting you back in, I really missed ya!

      Delete
    3. awww... Thanks, Crabby!

      Between new job--no more working 24/7! yay!--and using the PC instead of iOS device, I seem to be back in business. =)

      Oh, and despite my crack about having a list of annoys as long as my arm, thanks at least in part due to my new work/life balance wondrousness I'm actually a lot more on the lovin' side than the hatin' side these days. Yippity skippity, la la lucky me!

      Delete
    4. Wait, before you go to the extent of buying a shower cap for your smoke detector, check this first! Get a stool and get up near the thing. Grab it by the circular part that hangs down and twist left or right. You should be able to twist it a half-inch or so, releasing it from the bracket holding it to the ceiling. Then check if it's actually wired or a "plug" that connects the detector to the wiring. (Look at the back of the sensor, not just the wires hanging out of the ceiling.) If it's a plug, just unplug it. If it's wires...well then, you're either going to have to turn off the power and unhook the wires, or put it back in it's bracket and go with the shower cap.

      As for that dang slimy produce, count me on the whiny bandwagon! Especially when I'm shilling out high dollar for the organic stuff! (All the more reason to buy local...)

      Delete
  9. Argh. The hidden mushy leaf! And the hidden moldy raspberry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:10 PM

      So true. I have inadvertently eaten way more than my share of both OtF! Icckkk!!

      Delete
  10. Here's my smoke detector rant: the intermittent "beep Beep BEEP!" that happens at 2 am, then 3 am, then 4 am for absolutely NO REASON WHATSOEVER! No - not a battery that needs to be replaced. Just random beeps that are loud enough to wake the dead. I had one that was possessed. Seriously. I removed the battery completely - disconnected it and put it in another room and it STILL did this. For days. It's now in a landfill underneath a gigantic pile likely beeping away at the cockroaches.

    And - yeah... the whole produce thing. First - I guess I need to be looking at those leaves more carefully. But what really gets me is when some nice organic berries that I inspected the heck out of at the store sprout freakin' MOLD 8 hours after taking them home. (OTF, I'm with you.) I wash produce right away and put it in nice little containers with air holes, etc... - so, I'm pretty careful generally. Why does this happen? Do the berries know when they've made it out of the store and just do this to mock me? But, what worries me even more is when I spot the mold 2 seconds after I've hastily inhaled a few without examining them first.
    Today's most recent rant though is about the cups Starbucks uses. It's that little drip down the outside of the cup that somehow has defied gravity to travel UP the INSIDE of the cup, over the lip (despite the top being secured) and then over to the outside and onto my hand. It doesn't happen predictably or for any reason I can detect. And no - it's not coming out of the hole at the top. sheesh!....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I read somewhere (over the vast interwebs) that washing berries promotes mildew/mold faster. I don't wash mine until I'm ready to eat them, but I do feel like I'm in a race against time when I buy the two pound box of strawberries at Sam's Club to eat them before the yuck sets in.

      Delete
    2. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:13 PM

      Beeping smoke detectors and cockroaches kinda belong together and will no doubt survive us all! And yeah, stealth moldy berries, arrggh! And too funny about the gravity defying strabucks coffee.

      I'd heard the same thing Shelley about not washing berries, which works well with my laziness anyway, though so often there are bad ones hidden in there even before water touches them. Ish.

      Delete
    3. Moldy berries - ick. But I have to admit I don't think I can blame the store. We have occasionally grown our own, and they really just don't last more than a day or two after they are picked.

      Delete
  11. You know I love a cranky/crabby post! Right with you on that slimy piece of lettuce that RUINS the bag for me. And I get so mad when I unpack my groceries and discover the foil top of my Fage yogurt has been punctured...I try to look at each one as I'm taking them off the shelf, so I either miss it, or the bagger (!!!) stabs it with another item I'm buying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crabby McSlackerJune 11, 2014 at 4:15 PM

      Stabby grocery store clerks, too funny Shelley! I wonder if it's subconscious revenge for all of us fresh produce people who are so much more labor-intensive to ring up than the dorito eaters.

      Delete
  12. OMG! The awkwardness in that original video is almost too much to bear. HAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  13. I guess we are lucky that we don't have a smoke detecter anywhere near our kitchen - or maybe we are just stupid because we could burn the house down without any warning!!!
    My biggest hate at the moment is bad drivers!! Seriously, if you are going to drive 20 miles under the speed limit (on a 1 lane road through town) don't drive - I hate slow drivers!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I got so tired of the baggers who would put CANS in with the TOMATOES, that I bag my own. It is an option in the store I go to. You are only supposed to do small amounts of groceries at the self-checkout, but I will take a full basket and bag things the way I want them. I treat the organics like gold and if there is anything wrong with it on the inside, after I get home, I will save the receipt and take it back. I can be a sweet cranky old lady sometimes. But it IS MY money and I pay enough for some of this stuff as it is.
    I am so cheap, I take the plastic bags off the veggies before weighing them on the store scale because I only want to pay for the food, not the bag. I will shake excess water off before weight too.
    Yes, this makes me quirky too. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The grocery store I go to doesn't have enough baggers (or maybe they have "enough" for them, I don't know) so I would say 75% of the time I end up bagging my own. Since I've got weird canvas bags, I kind of like it, because I can pack them as light or heavy as I want. BUT, if that bread is smooshed, I guess I have no one else to blame!

      Delete
    2. This is so timely. One of our grocery stores seems short on baggers. So I grab my bag and do it myself, which is actually kind of better (is this similar to pumping your own gas?). I wish this happened more often. I have had baggers who were like pro Tetris players, others who had no spatial awareness at all. One guy put tomatoes on the bottom and went from there. Others think it's great to put every canned item in one bag, making it ridiculously heavy. Go figure!

      Delete
  15. My fire alarm went off the other evening when I was baking cookies and donuts. There was no smoke. I am convinced that my fire alarm was just telling me how magically delicious my goodies smelled!

    ReplyDelete
  16. So off the topic of most of the posts, but in that music video, while they don't SOUND anything like Heart, two of the women do look like Ann and Nancy Wilson.

    To get back on topic - I'm hatin' most things these days - TOO MUCH WORK!

    ReplyDelete
  17. We have smoke detectors that are hard wired and I don't know where half of them are much less how to turn them off. They're all newly put in place by electricians during the course of renovations. We also have a self-cleaning oven which is something I've never owned and a feature I've never used before. Can you see where this is going? I'm scared to use the self-cleaning feature, despite how very much the oven needs cleaning right now lest all the smoke detectors in the house go off for hours and I haven't a clue how to stop and reset them.

    ReplyDelete
  18. awesome post and source of much smiling! as i dont have fire alarms im left to rant about agressivly driving mothers with strollers during christopher street day ( eyeroll) or the fact that through the last 15 years there has been no winter in berlin without a complete fuck up of public transportation. its not that the company doesnt know what to do about the problem of 3 snowflakes... they dont want to spend the money on repairing the trains... (motherf***ing a$$hats!)
    also i hate that one neighbor wakes me up every morning at 7 because, as she puts it, instead of snoring i should go find a job! ( wtf, b****!!!)
    i totally agree on letting it all out, swearing, getting all exited about it an then: LAUGH! :)
    cranky greetings,
    puja

    ReplyDelete
  19. My mom had some memorable fires in the kitchen! My brother video taped one. Not as exiting as the later video of mom telling dad about it when he came home from work, lol!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting, Cranky Fitness readers are the BEST!

Subscribe to comments via RSS

(Note: Older Comment Threads Are Moderated)