Oh yeah, maybe posting La Jolla beach bike ride photos during a polar vortex.
Sorry about that. We've already established that I'm kind of an asshole. But what's a thin-blooded weather-wimpy snow-bird blogger supposed to do when she gets bored with the gym?
OK, so I suppose I could have donned a big down parka and ski hat and tried to simulate more typical February weather for my workout.
But the cops and the Balboa Park maintenance workers already look at me kinda funny when I go charging around the playground without age-appropriate companions. I suspect I would have looked even more conspicuous navigating the grassy lawns in skis or snowshoes.
Anyway, before I got struck down by the flu, and lacking a bona fide adult playground to romp in, I went to the park and put together a playground workout. I made the Lobster snap a few photos afterwards of the routine I invented. (You can tell the photos below are staged because I am not wearing mandatory headphones!) Then the other day I went back for another round because the first time was actually fun. And I added a couple of new exercises.
The sad thing is I didn't have a camera or a photographer the second time, because there were fewer kids around and I got even more aggressive about using their toys. I'm hoping, when they finally arrest me for trespassing and disturbing the peace, that the Lobster is around and manages to get a few shots of me being handcuffed and stuffed into the squad car.
So. for any of you still reading who haven't clicked away in disgust, here's my recipe for how to make a semi-tolerable workout out of a park playground.
Step One: Pick one or two favorite "reward" exercises.
There has to be at least one piece of available equipment or some other exercise that is relatively FUN or just forget the whole thing and go to the f--cking gym instead.
For me, a secret swinger, this is a no-brainer.
But it could be a merry-go-round, a slide (as long as you ascend the ladder as fast as you can and make it exercisey), the monkey bars, doing somersaults, practicing handstands or cartwheels, scrambling up and over something tricky a few times without breaking an bones, or whatever.
Step Two: Pick a Few Other Complimentary Exercises
The idea is to have a few additional, possibly more miserable, exercises to go with each "fun" one so you cover most movements and body parts, but never have to go too long without a reward.
The more muscle groups you can combine with each exercise the better; you'd ideally like to work your core, your legs, and your arms. Additionally, you want to have these incorporate pushing movements, pulling movements, up & down movements, and twisty movements.
Plus, bonus for exercises that incorporate jumping, balancing, or inversion!
Note: because this is a circuit workout I feel like I get extra credit, so I go a little lighter on the strength training intensity than I might if were in the gym.
There are hundreds of possibilities, and the important thing is finding ones that work for YOUR body and hurt only in the appropriate ways, not in a those oh crap, now-I'm-screwed ways.
Push ups and variations thereof are an obvious choice. You can make them easier (off tables or benches) or harder by burpifying them or jacking out your legs or lifting one leg at a time or walking your arms and legs around between downward dips, or doing them with your feet raised up on high things. You can make 'em twisty by alternating into side planks. Many of these work the core as well.
Ignore my form.
I suspect my butt is not where it's supposed to be.
Pull-type exercises are trickier as you need something to pull against, like monkey bars or swings, but you can also bring a stretchy band or toss a rope around a tree limb or use Dave's inspired supine row maneuver.
There are plenty of ways to torture your legs (and some of these also work the core as well): lunges, backward lunges, sideways lunges, step-ups, jumping jacks, wall (or tree) sits, high or broad jumping, kicking, or squatting--all these can work well at making your legs miserable.
Step Three: Pick Several Amusing Ways to Transport yourself a Few Hundred Yards.
Sprinting is fine, but this should not be your sole means of getting from one place to another. Sideways running (either grapevine or like a basketball player), skipping, running backwards, dancing, or dribbling a soccer ball can all work.
Step Four: Set up a Water Station or Find a Drinking Fountain
This way not only do you stay hydrated, but you have a second "reward" in your circuit. Or hell, if it's an after-work exercise session and you don't mind risking injury or incarceration, make it a happy hour workout and put an even more festive beverage in your water bottle.
Step Five (Optional) Bring Toys!
Cones, stretchy bands, dumbells or kettlebells, mini trampolines, pogo sticks whatever.
Just a thought.
Step Six: Put it All Together and Go Get 'Em!
1. Warm up or not. I don't care. I like to take a slow jog around the general area before starting just to alert concerned parents to my possibly threatening presence and let them get used to me a bit before I get too weird. It also gives me an idea about which equipment I'll be able to use and to plan accordingly.
2. Grab the most difficult to access piece of equipment when you can, and build the body weight and running and jumping stuff in around that. Use the equipment for as long as feels appropriate, 30 sec- 2 minutes, or however long you can get away with it.
2. Sprint, skip, shuffle etc yourself to a new location and do something else that uses different muscles.
3. Sprint, dribble, run backwards etc to your beverage station and drink something.
4. Skip, dance etc to a different location, while keeping your eye on your favorite equipment; you may need to either add some extra alternatives if kids are being annoying and using your gym or you may be able to monopolize the equipment for the WIN. Be flexible and also be prepared to lose track what you've done and what you were planning to do and what order things are going in. Just do SOMETHING and then run around and do SOMETHING else.
5. Repeat! You can either vary the specific exercises within each category (i.e. lunge/jump/squat), or keep it simple and repeat the exact same 3 or 4 complimentary exercises, whatever seems most appealing
I aim for about 25 minutes, which is usually how long it takes before I'm bored and want to go home.
If the swingset is free... Swing!
Shuffle sideways alternating sides
Push-up to Side Planks
Grapevine to playground
Play on Monkey Bars or try some pull-ups (standing or unassisted)
Sprint to water fountain
Walking lunges (dumb bells optional)
Skip to swingset
Swing again, whee!
Scramble up and over brightly colored playground thingy a few times and discover your balance sucks and barely escape breaking your neck (not pictured).
This was not the thingy, it lives in Canada, but I wish it were, it's cute:
Run backwards to park bench
Dance to water fountain
Drink! Gasp! Curse!
Sprint back to bench
Shoulder Press Push-ups off Park Bench
Tricep dips off bench
Swing! Swing! Swing! Yeee-hawww!!
Any of you guys like to work out in parks or playgrounds when weather permits? Or does this sound all like crazy talk?