Yes, it's time for another petulant post! This one is about an evil product I buy sometimes, one that totally pisses me off.
So why is it an incredibly stupid and annoying product? And if it is indeed an abomination, why am I such a dumbass that I'd buy it in the first place?
The Evil Temptation of Zero-Cal Lemonade-Flavored Glaceau Vitamin Water:
It is almost the sort of beverage I could really enjoy drinking, without incurring too much guilt:
- I like the taste. It's like lemonade. Not quite as good, too weak to be truly delicious, but not bad.
- It's low cal and sugar free. Do I need to be quaffing a sugar-filled recreational beverage? I do not.
- The water is sweetened with stevia and erythritol, not sucralose. Sucraclose can screw around with gut bacteria. Also, artificial sweeteners have been linked to weight gain, which, WTF? That makes no sense! But whatever, enough studies have come in now that it seems to be a thing. I haven't (yet) seem similar studies on natural low cal sweeteners like erythritol and stevia, so fingers crossed.
- I'm 55 years old, and despite decades of trying, I have not yet convinced myself that plain water, with or without a squeeze of lemon, is any fun at all. Sure, I down plenty of it, but tasty alternatives are nice to have.
Why Vitamin Water Zero is an Asinine Thing to Purchase Generally, and Glaceau's Is a Particularly Bad Choice.
We do not need vitamins in our water. Who thinks this is a good idea? Not experts on nutrition. But consumer-sheep have been indoctrinated to think adding vitamins to things means you don't have to eat real foods like kale and brussels sprouts, and they think, cool, I'd rather drink a fruity beverage than eat vegetables any day! Bring it on!
But some vitamins taken as supplements are worse than others. Remember Tiffany's post about the dangers of antioxidant supplements?
So what does my pseudo-lemonade naturally sweetened beverage contain? Among other unnecessary additives, they go out of their way to include...
Vitamin A and Vitamin E!!! Studies are starting to show that taking Vitamins A and E supplements is linked with increased cancer risk.
Gee, thanks Glaceau!
Glaceau is a subsidiary of Coca Cola, gosh, do you think they have the resources to consult scientists and find out if it's a good idea to add Vitamin A or Vitamin E to their water? Of course they do! But they leave it in there anyway, because to many uninformed consumers, it sounds healthier.
Why Can't They Sell Low-Cal, Naturally-Sweetened Beverages that Are at Not Pumped Up With Any Vitamins At All?
Just askin'. Seriously, why is this so hard? Am I the only one who wouldn't mind a reasonably healthy sweetened beverage to drink on occasion?
A Better Alternative:
When I'm not feeling too lazy, I sometimes squeeze a lemon or two into some water and add stevia, plus a little monk fruit if I have it around. (But monkfruit isn't quite as sweet as stevia and it gets expensive to use enough to really sweeten things.) It's a pretty low-cal beverage: the first source I googled said the juice of a lemon only had 12 calories, and a lemon is an actual real food: bonus!
But alas, often I am indeed too lazy to bother, or I want something to take with me on the road, and it just seems easier to grab a couple of bottles of the evil stuff when it goes on sale. Sigh.
So, dear Glaceau/Coca-Cola people: could you please stop being such asshats and just take the f--cking vitamins out of your lemonade? Thanks!!! --Your pal, Crabby.
Are you guys all virtuous plain-water drinkers, or do you have any favorite alternatives?