May 14, 2012

Road Trip Report and Les Mills Pump Giveaway Winner!

Yes, we have a giveaway winner! But just to be annoying, how about I announce who won the Les Mills Pump DVD giveaway  at the very very bottom of the post, after a bunch of tedious paragraphs about our road trip, the history and implications of our migratory habits, trip pictures, and other stuff you really didn't care to know?

Ahem.... WAKE UP!

There, that’s better. Now go grab a cup of coffee before you proceed to scroll right down to the bottom past all the miscellaneous rambling to see if you won the giveaway.

So it's true we haven't event started east yet, just north, but here are:

Four Road Trip Discoveries So Far:

1. The whole saying goodbye thing sucks.

Regular readers know that the Lobster (beloved spouse) and I have a freakish bicoastal lifestyle in which twice a year, we pack up a bunch of our crap and migrate to the opposite coast.

Sort of like this, but with more chocolate.

We both hail from the San Francisco Bay Area, which we love, but we also fell under the spell of Provincetown Massachusetts, which is an amazing place to live… for about six months of the year.

Not this six months.

Our love for Provincetown led us to sell our bay area house and spend half the year on the east coast. But saying goodbye to family and friends is hard! Each time, we'd leave half our hearts behind.  Though it makes for lousy song lyrics, don’t you think? “I left half my heart… in San Francisco.” Nope, doesn't have quite the same ring.

Then to further complicate things, we found ourselves seduced by Hillcrest, a cute little  neighborhood in San Diego that was more affordable than the bay area yet still driveable to see our families. After two winters in Hillcrest, we now have a found some great pals whom we will miss greatly until we return in the fall.

The bottom line (sheesh, willya get to the point, Crabby?): Our biannual migrations allow us to see people we care about whom we haven't seen in a while. Hooray! But alas, multiple “homes” means we have to say goodbye to people we’d rather kidnap and stash in the back of the van if we had enough valium and duct tape and any chance of getting away with it.

2. ButtAerobics!

I’ve blogged before on road trips about using rest stops as an opportunity for calisthenics, (which looks and feels even weirder than it sounds so I simply pretend I’m invisible), as well as taking along suspension trainers and improvising exercises on trails by lifting enormous boulders.

The downside? These methods all involve leaving the vehicle! What about all those hours speeding down the highway where stepping out the door at 70mph isn’t quite practical?

Introducing: ButtAerobics! Put on some bouncy music, and get your freak on while driving with chair wiggling and head bobbing and sporadic awkward fist-pumping. If you're the passenger person, you can add stretchy band exercises, knee lifts, and seat-reclined hip thrusters! (And please do this last one while passing bored truckers if you want to feel like a total asshole).

3. I am totally pathetic when it comes to blogging on the road.

The sad thing is that I've actually been trying! What did me in was that I started the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. (I had no choice after FOUR different people recommended it to me in the space of a month. Which would make sense if it were a hot new trendy best-seller, but the book came out way back in 1997 when poor Eckhart was probably writing by candle light with a quill pen.)

Anyway, my error was in trying to write a blog post with actual content while traveling.

Did I admit defeat? Yes ! But sadly, not soon enough. I spent countless hours composing, writing, adding, deleting, rewriting, abandoning, and starting over. And each time I'd end up with the textual equivalent of:

And ironically, what was the title of the post that I spent so much time over-thinking that I became a babbling incoherent puddle of frustration incapable of stringing two words together? It was: "Is Thinking Bad?"


(Apparently, Eckhart thinks we should spend a whole hell of a lot less time thinking, live exclusively in the present and spend more quality time sitting on park benches feeling blissed out. It's a fascinating read but a STUPID IDIOTIC CRAPPY CHOICE for a blog post on the road.)

4. The Pacific Northwest Rocks!

True, we hit the timing just right: the weather was sunny and pleasant, yet it was pre-summer enough that everything was mellow and friendly and uncrowded and flowers were blooming everywhere and it was green and gorgeous.

Is Ashland Oregon not a totally adorable town? We didn't see any plays as it was just a lunch stop, but it had an awesome park on a river to stroll through, cute shops and restaurants, a food co-op with amazing healthy lunch offerings, and happy looking people of all ages running around looking intelligent and outdoorsy and creative and friendly. Or perhaps Ashland itself is secretly one big play with a utopian theme, and all those those cool townsfolk were just paid extras?  Either way, it was a great show and we felt like applauding at the end when we hit the road again.

The Lobster in The Nice Park In Ashland
 With the Name I of Course Can't Remember

And Silver Falls State park?

Holy Crap it was purdy!

And now let's rejoin the folks who skipped straight down to the bottom to reveal that...

The Les Mills Pump DVD workout set winner is...


Congratulations, Kim, and please email crabby mcslacker at gmail dot com and let me know your mailing address by May 24th!

And thanks everyone for stopping by, wish y'all were here hanging with us!

So how is everyone doing?  Anyone else find their brain melts on road trips?  Any random thoughts about anything?


  1. Good to read you.
    It sounds like you're having a great trip. Looking forward to hearing more about it.

  2. I've been to Ashland a couple of times (but not recently) - it IS a beautiful place!

    Enjoy your trip!

  3. YAY!!!!! we've missed you and our lobster!

  4. Having a blast (roadtrips rock!) but dang I miss you guys! We're packing up to leave Seattle this a.m. but am hoping for more internet along the way.

    Don't have too much fun without me!

  5. I love living vicariously through others that actually get to experience real world (not fighting mid puberty duels to the death preteen children) shit. My longest "road trip" is usually every other year packed into a car driving a straight 18- 24 hours (depending on the construction in and around Atlanta)to my Mother-In-Laws house while praying that my kids' anti-motion sickness induced mini comas continue until at least the last hour of the ride. Or when I've decided that I can't handle being at home amid the silence anymore on a Thursday when my kids get outta school late and I trek down the interstate 2 counties to see my friend that runs a tattoo shop, with whom I get to spend maybe 3 hours to turn around and rage my way home at 90-110 MPH listening to Pantera to get home in time for school car line HELL.
    Plus, I've never been further west than Texas (that's when I was 4) and I've only been to Rogersville TN, as far as north goes, since I was 22 and headed for New Jersey for a funeral for my Uncle who was physically IDENTICAL to John Tuturo, but 30ish years his senior, I miss that man and his stories of Asbury Park and his antique shop.
    BUT ANYWAY! You guys have so much fun and I love reading about it!
    Congratulations to Kim and please do us all the favor of jamming out to the video I posted. And if you do, you are morally obligated to film and post it, complete with neon hi-tops circa 1986, sweatbands, and gold lame (HOW THE EFF DO YOU SPELL THAT WORD< SPEELCHECK?) and post it to the group! Or someone may be required to repossess the video from you. hahahahaha
    Have a great week everyone!

  6. What great pictures that is awesome! Jeez you need to learn to blog on the road, it was like deadly silence that was deafening in the blogosphere without your snarkiness.

  7. Glad you are "home" safe. Road trips make me crazy unless i stop at places with wifi regularly.

  8. Looks like a grand time. And really - you need some video of your car-isthenics. Especially with passing truckers. :)

    Reexamine that map too! Interstate 90 is a nice straight shot east and will bring you right through the beautiful Black Hills (not to mention past the Big Horns and a bit of Yellowstone country)! How can you resist? :)

  9. That's great!! I understand what you are saying about road trips. I have found that staying in one place a few days then moving on helps me stay enthusiastic. Really long days behind the wheel can become quite tedious.

    Now in the plane, that's another story! I haven't taken a several day trip in the plane yet, but hopefully some time.

    Travel safe!

  10. I love road trips. I wanna go on a road trip! Oregon looks lovely, maybe one day I will get to see it in person. Enjoy the remainder of your trip.

  11. You are so friggin funny!!! And love the pics as always! I am all for spending a whole hell of a lot less time thinking, live exclusively in the present and spend more quality time sitting on park benches feeling blissed out. So what if they say that is escapism - I am there! ;-)

    It is amazing the back & forth you do... I am not sure I could do it! BTW, your captcha is as bad as mine!! I had to search like 5 times before I tried!

  12. Now I'm thinking about thinking about thinking. Should I actually read this Eckhart Tolle person or will I totally recurse myself away?

    Have more fun!

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  13. I would much rather do a north south migration. I dream of Summers in Vermont and Winters in the Florida Keys.

  14. I used to live in Hillcrest! Great part o' town.
    I've never been to Ashland, although I did audition for the Shakespeare Festival a couple of times...
    Sounds like you had a great time! And glad you're back online. :)

  15. It sounds like you're still too far south. When is your road trip going to take you through Canada????

  16. If you had blogged on your trip with The Lobster, then it technically wouldn't have been a "get-a-way," and you wouldn't have had all these delicious tales for us. So no guilt!

    Oh, and wasn't "The Power of Now" one of "Oprah's Favorite Things" back in 97? I ask because it was a wedding gift. Lol

    Now that the tears of laughter have ceased (you had me at "butt aerobics,"....

    You've got mail! :)

  17. Crabby, I'm glad you and Lobster enjoyed your road trip and get to live in two beautiful places. So I'm assuming you are heading to Provincetown for the summer and back to Cali for the winter? Or maybe you are a weather masochist and like yards of snow? BTW, I tried to listen to Eckhart Tolle on an audio book once and that was huge mistake - while he might have good insight, he narrated the piece and has the most boring voice ever when you are trying to stay awake and drive. :)

  18. Thanks for stopping by you guys!

    So Britt, I gotta say I would rather swing by your area but the lobster has it in her head that we need to swing through North Dakota... it's the last state we've never visited!

    Jody, thanks for reminding me to turn captcha back off, I HATE it but I get dozens of spam comments a day and have to put it on sometimes to deter them a bit.

    Azusmom you lived in Hillcrest? That's cool!

    Solarity you probably already practice many of Tolle's teachings but I think you'd find him interesting. Some of it's getting kinda Out There though!

    And Kim, yep, he's an Oprah fave!

    And Shira, Eckhart also snorts when he laughs at his own jokes on audio which can be more than a little distracting!

    Can I just say that I hate that my template won't let me reply to individual comments? Grrr. Still working on wordpress transition but finding it's got a lot of dumbass aspects too. Sigh.

  19. This Masshole awaits with open arms! Safe journey and maybe will see you in P-Town this summer.

  20. I will taking a big road trip soon. It is not so fun for my partner because I don't drive...I did say if there were any perfectly straight roads with no cars, no pedestrians, and no bicycles I would take a turn.

    Love the waterfall...gorgeous picture!

  21. I love taking random road trips. It's relaxing and takes my mind off of all my worries. I took my new workout bar with me on my last road trip and it was awesome. I love it because it is so portable and my friends and I were able to use it during the trip. Highly recommended!

  22. Beautiful pictures! Putting the falls on my to-do list!

  23. Come join my "Motivational Monday Link Up Party" and share your amazing posts and stories.

  24. I think we may have crossed paths! We just left Ashland and Silver Falls on the way home (Olympic Peninsula).

    I lived in Hillcrest for a half year. Loved it. That was many many moons ago. Back in quill and candlelight times.

    Anyhoo. I cannot imagine trekking across country every year. OK I can imagine it, but that is where it ends.

    Doing squats on the side of the road or in camp gets leery stares. As does doing bicep curls with a collapsible water bladder. Doing situos in the camper makes it shake violently, which would only draw snickers if I was in there with Mr. Munchberry, but usually I was alone - again with the leering. I ended up reclining the seat in the car and crunching torso and legs. That draws leers from truck drivers. You'd think they would enjoy it. Maybe they were...

  25. Guess who just received their Les Mills BodyPump Giveaway Prize!


    And guess who's gonna get her ever lovin' arse kicked?!


    I've really needed a home workout, as I'm going back to school (at 40 years old!) and won't have as much time to hit the gym.

    I'll be sure to keep you updated on my progress! Thank you, again, Cranky!

  26. Oops...damn auto correct!

    I meant, Thanks CRABBY!!

    (i need a new

  27. Oops...damn auto correct!

    I meant, Thanks CRABBY!!

    (i need a new

  28. You were in Seattle and I missed you? Drat. At least you visited while we had some sun... not the case the last few days.


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