July 11, 2017

High Tech Tuesday!

Photo download via xray delta one
By Crabby McSlacker

Should we be worried about the impact of so much easily accessible technology on our fragile human brains?

There is much hand-wringing on the subject, and even a little research out there.  Are portable machines turning our minds into mush, screwing with our relationships, infantalizing us, and disconnecting us from reality? Not to mention causing us to walk in front of buses and plunge off piers into large bodies of water?

Maybe! But that's not today's post.

Today I'm just doing a quick lazy show-and-tell about a couple of recent technological finds. One of them I even invented myself!

1. Crabby's Android Keyboard Also Functions as a Handy Diagnostic Tool!

Who needs a carefully designed psychological questionnaires or visits to costly mental health service providers to assess your mental state?

If you have a phone like mine, that allows you to generate punctuation marks without opening a second keyboard, just by long-pressing letter keys, you have all the info you need on your functional (or dysfunctional) frame of mind.

Wondering whether you should you take a few deep breaths or a walk around the block before attempting something demanding, like brain surgery, a discussion with a hormonal teenager, or a call to any sort of customer service department? Or are you already good to go?

Just text someone something that requires an exclamation point on my phone! It's an excellent diagnostic tool.

In my clumsy hands, long pressing on a virtual keyboard is just tricky enough to require at least a minimally stable frame of mind. If I don't do it right, I don't generate a "!" I end up with an "a" instead. Of course the more stressed I am, the more I want to Exclaim!!! (Or, on some days, Exclaimaaaaa). Then the more times it takes me to get it right, the pissier I get. Especially once I realize it would have been so, so much faster to just switch keyboards in the first place. But at least I know: Crabby, time to chill.

Note: this also works as an intoxication assessment device as well. Too much caffeine or wine? Your keyboard will let you know. Cheersaaaaa and all, but better call a cab.

2. Random Inspiration.

I'm probably the last human to discover this, but I'm now kind of addicted to this site. It recalled the joy I experienced when I first stumbled on Terrible Real Estate Photos .

So Inspirobot is simply a site with random computer generated inspirational memes.

Sometimes they are not funny. But sometimes they are hilariously nonsensical, and sometimes they are strangely spot on. I think my favorites though, are the ones that at first just seem random and weird, but then you think about them longer, and, if your brain is as messed up as mine, you start actually seeing some truth in them. Here were some of my results from last session.

Well no, they are also designed to crap on your car.

You know me all too well, internet meme.

Look at me! I'm at a museum instead of shopping mall or fast food restaurant! I am what's right with the world.  

Think about this one for a bit, it's very Zen. Many people think they need the storm even on sunny days, don't you find?


Just don't tell your primary care physician this when she's aiming anything hypodermic in your direction.

But if you aren't obsessed with a disease (or the avoidance of one) you probably never googled into Cranky Fitness in the first place, so feel free to go about your not uninteresting life.

Yep, in one gigantic toothy chomp, should you be swimming in the wrong place.

So yeah, a little silly this week. But I just wanted to put something up here, partly so I could pop down at the end and express my sincere thanks to all who have commented or emailed and been so warm and supportive during a stressful time. Love you guys!

Anyone else have any new technological finds to share? Or how's your week going?


  1. My weeks going ok thanks Crabby. Sorry to hear about your recent news. Hope you're feeling better today?

    1. Thanks so much Amy! And yeah, the dark feeling has lifted, now its more just plain ol' ordinary panic and neurosis. :)

  2. LOL on that last one - I saw something about "if at first you don't succeed, try again - unless you're parachuting" and cracked up at that until I saw that someone in Houston had just unsuccessfully had a parachute jump, so I sincerely hope that no sharks come a'calling. ;)

    Glad you're feeling better. XO

    1. Good point Shelley, and we do actually live somewhere where there are shark sightings. Will listen carefully for ominous music before donning a swimsuit and plunging in!

  3. Inspirobot is genius.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

    1. Genius and inane at the same time, one of my favorite combinations!

  4. I get a daily inspiration from Chicken Soup for
    the Soul, a corny joke from Prairie Home Companion
    and the late night TV jokes from Newsmax. I also
    go to ebay and put in a ridiculous keyword and see
    what comes up. Gets me thru the day and night.

    I just picked fresh mint, put it in water and
    put it in front of the fan.

    1. What a great combination Sharon! And never thought of ebay as a humor source but that's inpsired. Mint water in front of the fan, another inspired idea, thanks!

  5. I love Inspirobot.

    My week is spectacular. It's not for any reason. It just is.

    1. Hope every week continues to be spectacular for no reason Leah!

  6. Those have inspired me to laugh, and that's a good thing. Also, i will remember to stay away from sharks if i value my existence, which i do.

    1. And watch out for hungry 'gators too messymimi! We too value your existence.

  7. I've already shared Inspirobot with friends.

    1. Thank you, and I'm sure the robot appreciates that sharon! Hmm... I just got "before the now, comes the yelling..." Either very deep, or just nutty.


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