April 25, 2012

Guest Bloggers Working for Peanuts--Review and Giveaway

What's way better than one of Crabby's weird product reviews and giveaways? How about an even weirder one by the infamous Sinner Ella DeVil? She will be telling you about MV Best Virginia Cocktail Peanuts and is hosting our giveaway if you want to win some. (And sorry, U.S. mailing address required, dang it).

If Sinner's name sounds familiar, it's either because you've caught one of the rare posts at her amusing blog No Illusions Here: Fitness Reality, or because you've wandered down to the Cranky Fitness comments and thought: OMG, WHO THE F--CK IS THIS WOMAN??!! And I mean that in the nicest of ways. She's awesome and her call her writing "original" is an understatement.

Are you guessing the Virginia Cocktail Peanuts people are getting a tad nervous by now?

You’re gonna LOVE my nuts!

by Sinner Ella DeVil

Greetings, Cranky Fitness readers! I’ve come to tell the tale of some delicious nuts and grace you with the chance to win your very own can of them for the low and amazingly awesome price of FREE!

You may be asking yourself, “Who is this crazy woman spouting the word synonymous with male reproductive parts?”

Let me assure you, I have plenty of wit and sarcasm to share, but for the purpose of this post, I will tone it down a LITTLE bit. I do run a half-assed fitness based blog that is sparse on post updates and will be plagiarizing myself to double post on my own blog. Let’s just move along, shall we?

Now, I’ve reeled you in with my 4th grade "You're Going to Love My Nuts" joke. What’s it all about? Well, I hope everyone here has heard of the former Slap Chop guy turned Sham Wow guy turned alleged criminal via some very bad choices. (Note from the Crab: if not, you can check out his  SlapChop infomercial, or to blast a few extra calories, dance along to the remix version)). He uses the slap chop to beat the tar out of some peanuts and use them for the infomercial. I’m not touting the amazingness that is the slap chop or the creepiness that is that dude. I am, however going to grace you with the glory that is MV’s Best Virginia Cocktail Fine Virginia Peanuts.

I had the pleasure of sampling the Cajun flavor, as I’m not big on sweet stuff. (Yeah, I know I’m a freak.) These aren’t your typical peanuts. They’re quite large and don’t have that peanutty oomph to them that we’re all used to. While they do still have the peanut taste, it’s not as strong as you would expect. And you may see that the label shows what some may think are really spicy ingredients, but I assure you that they are not “make your eyes water” spicy. The spice is quite mild and enjoyable.

These nuts are pretty big.
I have fairly large, borderline man hands.

Had I been able to stop shoving them in my face long enough, I would have chopped some up (with my knock off version of a Slap Chop) to put on a salad, but alas, I was hungry and they were MMMMmmmmmmmm Gooooooood.

There are a variety of flavors to choose from. They currently offer Sea Salt, Toffee, Jalapeno, Milk Chocolate, the above mentioned Cajun and Unsalted flavors on the Virginia Cocktail Peanuts website.

I am looking forward to trying the toffee flavor next, despite my give or take attitude toward sweet foods. And at $5 per tin, they’re reasonably affordable for that next get together on your calendar. (Or your gluttonous venture into the world of sweet and savory nuts.)

Now, if you’re allergic to nuts, avoid. DUH! But, if you like a variety of flavor, texture, and trying new stuff, I HIGHLY recommend these cocktail peanuts.

(This is me, post 4 mile run, about to stuff my face and make inappropriate yummy noises while I beat my children back with sticks and tell them to go eat fruit roll ups. After all, this is for research purposes):

Now, on to the BEST PART!!! For a limited time, you’re able to comment here, on the Cranky Fitness blog to enter to win your very own tin of delicious nuts. Below, in the comment section, just leave a note, sentence, a 4th grade joke with or without innuendo, a line of prose, or whatever letting me know what flavor you’d be interested in trying from MV’s Best and we’ll draw a winner via the ever popular and GREAT AND POWERFUL RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR. (say this out loud with the “Wizard of Oz Wizard voice” or it’s not as entertaining).

Once the winner has been drawn, we’ll announce it here and/or my slacker blog on Tuesday May 1 as well as possibly send an email to you (if your address is ascertainable), and you’ll have until Friday May 4th at around noon (give or take 3 hours depending on which coast you live on) to respond to one or both of us with your US mailing address.

Disclaimer: Should the Great and Powerful RNG decide to be a pain, one of us will just pull out a commenter from the list and notify them.

Have great day, Cranky readers and go have an adventure!


  1. I gotta say, re-reading it; I'm pretty damn funny at times. And my apologies for the lack of makeup, overabundance of eye baggage and dark circles.But, I workout hard and don't care what I look or smell like after... ESPECIALLY when post workout foods are involved.
    Thank you, Crabby for the opportunity to be a guest on your super awesome cranky blog!

  2. Hey Sinner, thank you for writing the post and allowing me more slacking time! And heck, if no other visitors arrive soon we can have our own party here. Got any nuts left?

  3. And is it too early for cocktails to go with our cocktail peanuts?

  4. Cocktails NEVER have a "too early" label. And alas, no remaining nuts, unless I dropped one under the couch. If so, you're outta luck, cause I've got a 3 month rule with my tile. lol
    Party on, Crabby! lol

  5. I just adore you! Great post.

    Aaaaannnd now I'm hungry. I covet your nuts..

  6. Hey, save some nuts for me!

  7. Mmmm, good looking nuts. I would love to try a out a can. Is beer included??

  8. Mmmm, peanutty.

    Cajun sounds good to me.

  9. Sea salt, baby!

    I don't know, maybe it's just because I'm one of those non-makeup wearing types, but I think that picture is just great, Sinner!

    Nice nuts.

  10. Sinner, great post! The no-make-up look just makes it more authentic. :) The milk chocolate kind sound mighty tempting to me.

  11. I would like to try the Jalapeno kind!! YUM!

  12. Who needs makeup when one has sweat?

    I'm not much for flavored stuff when I like the stuff in its natural state (e.g. popcorn) but the Cajun flavor does sound interesting.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky, where we can't grow good peanuts

  13. I would love to try these nuts!

  14. Wow this is a great giveaway and the flavors sound enticing, but as much as I like having salty nuts in my mouth I think I may like to try the toffee ones if I shall win.

  15. OMG, funny people everywhere! Writing just like funny Crabby - :-)

    I am afraid of these nuts but hubby needs more nuts! ;-)

    Me, I would go for the toffee BUT hubby might like one of the other flavors better!

  16. You passed up an opportunity to make a joke in this part?!

    "These aren’t your typical peanuts. They’re quite large and don’t have that peanutty oomph to them that we’re all used to."

    I laughed just reading the line as is! Damn 4th grade humor hook!

  17. Oh man, jalapeno sounds fantastic.

  18. Oh, either Jalapeno or Cajun sound great!

  19. You guys are awesome and hilarious. Thanks for the compliments. And to the quilting Doberman, that line in and of itself was a joke. I giggled after reading the post. Which is totally stoopit, since I wrote the damn thing, but I tend to free write and process later. LOL

  20. I know I'm not eligible being up in Canada, but I'm still drooling at the thought of chocolate or cajun flavoured nuts. MMMmmm...

  21. Mmmmm craving some cajun nuts! ;-D

  22. Those are some yummy sounding nuts. And would be a huge upgrade from my usual ball park staple! I would love to try the Sea Salt.

  23. Alas, i cannot eat peanuts, but i wanted to comment and say i like your writing very much.

  24. Now I have 2 funny and sarcastic people to read on the web.
    Count me in for the giveaway--- and I am heading straight for your blog

  25. Sinner - I totally have cracked myself up in my own writing before.

    You will be pleased to know that line wasn't lost on me. I think it made me laugh the most of anything else in the post! In fact, I can just revisit it and laugh whenever I want. :)

  26. Well you certainly are a funny tell it like it is writer and I can see why yo and Crabby are buds!

    I'll pass on the nuts, however.

  27. Thank you all for the kind words. I hope you'll pass along the link to this post as well as the one on my blog for the giveaway. It would be much appreciated.
    Thank you!

  28. I LOVE this Blog....LOL. This is one of the BEST I have read....How about some HOT NUTS!!

  29. Milk chocolate covered nuts? How can a girl say no?

  30. Haha, I like nuts. Thanks for the funny post, I am going to go buy some trail mix.


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