Exercise in a Pill: Would You Take It?

[By Crabby]



A while back, I wrote a completely theoretical post over at Diet Blog about the development of an Exercise Pill. And now, guess what? It looks like scientists are getting closer to developing a real exercise pill that provides many of the same benefits that actual exercise does.

(And I'm guessing there are about 150,000 health, weight loss, and fitness blogger who are covering this subject today or got around to it last week. Eh, so what. One of our Governing Principles here at Cranky Fitness is: If you're too lazy to be first, you might as well be silliest.)

Currently you have to be a mouse in the right experimental group to chuck those workouts. But who knows what the future will bring?

Want some hints?

"Almost no one gets the recommended 40 minutes to an hour per day of exercise," said Ronald Evans, head research dude. "For this group of people, if there was a way to mimic exercise, it would make the quality of exercise that they do much more efficient."

How Can You Get Much More Efficient Than This?

Research Dude explained: "If you like exercise, you like the idea of getting more bang for your buck. If you don't like exercise, you love the idea of getting the benefits from a pill."

The drug helps cells burn fat better and boosts endurance. And while the pills are only available experimentally now, the drug "has a relatively simple chemical structure and can be synthesized easily."

Hmm... An easily synthesized pill that could substitute in many ways for actual exercise... think anyone will be interested?




(Note to self: sell shares in 24-Hour Fitness; buy Krispy Kreme).

Assuming that this thing ever really got developed and actually worked (with no dangerous side effects), would you take it? Would you still exercise as much?

And how would you feel about couch potatoes taking a pill instead of doing any exercise at all?

I don't know about you, but thinking about these questions makes me feel weird...



No, not weird like I suddenly turned into a handsome well-groomed European guy. Weird like confused and skeptical and judgmental and grouchy.


Yet to be honest... perhaps somewhat intrigued.

I Can Has Pill? No Moar Running?

Why these mixed emotions? Any of you experiencing the same thing?

Perhaps it's because getting the benefits of exercise without actually suffering through it seems like cheating. It strikes me as somehow "unfair"--in a way that taking an antibiotic to keep from dying of an nasty infection does not.

If we've been doing our exercise all these years, especially if we've done a lot more than we felt like doing, then we should get credit! And people who skipped out and didn't bother should be punished, right?

Er--that sounds kinda screwed up, doesn't it?

Funny how easy it is to equate "exertion" and "sacrifice" with "virtue." But if the exertion merely serves to get us something we could get with a pill, and we could use that time to save the environment or feed hungry people or catch up on that stack of Entertainment Weekly's we've been meaning to get to... what is actually wrong with that?

As it happens, I'm skeptical of scientists' ability to really replicate natural biological processes in a lab, so I'm guessing that even a best case scenario it will be a substance that you could take in addition to exercise, rather than instead of. But would I take the pill, cut down on the treadmill time, and focus more on exercise I actually enjoy?

You betcha.

What do you guys think?

Lazy Linkage

(Photo by Crowbert)

So here are a few Random Links for your weekend reading pleasure. (See, longtime readers, how I'm not making a big production out of this? Just a few miscellaneous items I wanted to mention. Not a return to full-on Random Friday Neurosis).

On Six-Packs and Life-Suckage:
First off, Kelly at Fitness Fixation wrote a great post this week called "Why You May Never Have a Six Pack." But it's about much more than six packs abs--it's about genetics, and hard work, and high expectations, and how life sometimes sucks.

Plus, being Kelly, she's hilarious and serves you up your minimum daily requirement of swear words. ("Hey, we are fucking snowflakes. We are all different," she reassures us, and I'm thinking I might need to put that phrase on a nice bumper sticker or T-shirt.)

Big Fat (and Calorie) Liars:
Two of my favorite blogs, Elastic Waist and The Great Fitness Experiment, alerted me to the incredibly depressing (but somehow not totally surprising) news that restaurant chains often totally lie about how many calories and fat grams are in their foods.

Just one fun example? Macaroni Grill's "Skinny Chicken," which is supposed to have 500 calories and 6 fat grams was found by an independent testing lab to contain 1,022 calories and 49 grams of fat.

I hope their corporate pants are totally on fire right about now. But repercussions? Are there ever any?

Grrrrrrr....

Can You Put Cranky Fitness in Your Compost Pile?
Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on your perspective), Cranky Fitness is not available in print form. So we have no worries about how you choose to dispose of our posts once you're done with them. But did you know there are all kinds of weird things that you can not only recycle, but actually add to your compost pile? Like, for example, junk mail, latex condoms, and used masking tape? For more weird examples and other green tips, check out Ecosalon.

Be More Popular!
And finally, I thought I'd pass along some tips for bloggers looking to write some high-profile Personal Development posts. (The kind that get Dugg and Stumbled and bookmarked in the way that Cranky Fitness posts rarely are). Anyway, this Productivity Hack article contains some very useful tips, like:

Start off with an inspirational quote, preferably by an Asian spiritual leader. Include a picture of people jumping. Always tell people to make a list of their goals...

You get the idea. In my ramblings I see a lot of these kind of "productivity" articles, yet somehow I remain stubbornly unproductive--imagine that. This perhaps explains why!

So, back to work...

(Cartoon by Natalie Dee)

JUST KIDDING!

Have a great weekend, y'all.

(Oh, and don't forget to check out our weekly giveaway post below if you're looking to score some free stuff, or even if you just want to weigh in on Germy Gyms).

Germs and Giveaways

I have to confess I've always tended to be somewhat of a slacker in the "kill all the nasty germs" department.

For example, I practice my own customized version of "the five second rule." And when they show those shocking reports on tv about all the nasty bacteria and viruses that swarm all over your phone or desk or hotel room bedspread or toothbrush or steering wheel? Others may gasp and shudder, but I tend to say: "whatever."

I figure I've been wandering around this earth for quite a few decades, and have touched all these germ-infested surfaces and nothing bad has ever happened to me. Normal hand-washing seems to do the trick--and it's not like I even run off to wash my hands every time I touch a doorknob or pet a dog or pick up a quarter off the sidewalk or anything.

Perhaps I should be dead by now, but I'm not.

So one might think Cranky Fitness would be an odd place to giveaway several bottles of a product called GymSoap, which is a tea-tree oil and triclosan based liquid soap that kills bacteria, viruses, and fungi. You take it to the gym to avoid picking up any unwelcome microscopic hitchhikers.

But there are four reasons why it's actually a very good idea to offer up some Gymsoap!

1. MizFit thinks it's great product.

2. There are a number of Cranky Fitness commenters who are Very Serious about fighting germs.

3. The very nice GymSoap folks offered us 3 bottles for free and,

4. A few months ago I read an article like this one on the rise of drug-resistant staph infections that people are getting from their gyms. Risking athlete's foot is one thing, but this MSRA stuff is creeeeepy. (The GymSoap folks have some icky pictures on their home page (scroll down), if you want to freak yourself out.) I am starting to rethink my "live and let live" approach to germ exposure, at least when I'm at the gym.

So anyway, about the soap: it's apparently gentle, yet also heavy duty enough to kick some serious bacterial, viral, and fungal ass. And if you go by the testimonials, it looks like it can also turn you into a muscular tanned award winning body builder or athlete if you wash your hands often enough.

(She uses GymSoap a LOT).

So wanna try some? You don't have to use it the gym, they also market it for home use too. Alas, it is again for U.S. residents only (unless you want to have it sent to a U.S. address). Sorry Bag Lady and all our other beloved international readers!

Two bottles will be given away based on a random drawing. The third will be won by the person who writes the most compelling and/or amusing comment as to why they would really like some free GymSoap.

Contest deadline is Midnight Tuesday night, August 5th; winners announced the next morning; email us by Thursday night the 7th to claim your prize!

Ask Cranky Fitness: The Dog Days & Gym Reality

[By Merry]
Dear Cranky Fitness,

My exercise partner has lost interest. Every time I bring my leash over and wag my tail, she makes some feeble excuse about needing caffeine, a nap, or something called "catching up on my email." I don't want to trade her in for a newer model; it took long enough to get this human trained. How can I convince her to get out in the fresh air with me more often?

signed,
Woman's Best Exercise Partner

Dear Partner,

Clearly some work needs to be done. Have you tried making sure your e.p. doesn't spend her evenings out carousing with other humans instead of turning around three times and lying down at a reasonable hour? In the morning, accidentally wagging the tail a bit too enthusiastically when she's sipping the last drop of coffee in the house might result in a quick sprint to a Starbucks.

Dear Cranky Fitness,

Could you possibly loan me a few million dollars? I could lose weight so easily if I could concentrate on cooking healthy meals and working out 13 hours a day like a super-celebrity. As it is, I have to go to work five days a week, and I come home tired, grumpy, and ready for a Happy Meal in front of the T.V. In the interest of fitness, could I borrow some $? Failing that, got any better ideas?

signed,
I. B. Draggin

Dear I.B.,

No problem! Would you take a check? Hope you don't mind that it's post-dated to January 2024.* (We have to go out and write the best-selling Cranky Fitness Code first. And find a publisher. And bribe Dan Brown so he doesn't sue us for plagiarism. Details.)
While we're waiting for the check to clear, have you considered cooking food on the weekend and storing it in cute little containers? This would also encourage you to bring food from home, which saves you from the urge to splurge on Scottish cuisine. Saving money on food will help you pay the bill for your gym membership. Trust us, sitting on the couch watching reality shows is nothing compared to going to the gym and watching reality.

___________________________________________________
What would you do if you had a recalcitrant exercise partner or an addiction to junk food and T.V.?

*We've been informed by the Cranky Fitness Legal Department that post-dating a check doesn't stop the bank from cashing it anyway. Hope you don't mind if we just move the decimal point on that check over a bit. (No, in the other direction.)


Have a health or fitness question? Then send it to CrabbyMcSlacker at gmail dot com and we'll do our best to provide an answer. (Not necessarily a 'good' answer, but certainly an original one.)

But I Don't Wanna Write It Down!

[By Crabby]




Do You Keep a Food and/or Exercise Journal?

Two studies announced in the last few weeks have confirmed what most of us know already: if you want to lose weight or make yourself exercise regularly, there's almost nothing more powerful you can do than keep a written record.

The fact that it works for exercise as well as food highlights the fact it's not just about information--most of us can remember, if we take a minute to think about it, how many times we worked out this week. But a big part of journaling's effectiveness is the accountability that a written record demands.

Most folks love to write down that they ran five miles before breakfast, but they hate to write down that they had seven oreo cookies after dinner. The knowledge that your behavior will be recorded really can change it for the better.

And the information part can be powerful too. Holy crap, there are how many calories in a margarita and a plate full of nachos? Do I really grab that many handfuls of trail mix out of the cupboard in the course of an average Saturday afternoon?

Not surprisingly, food and exercise journaling works only to the extent you actually do it. The people who skipped days didn't do nearly as well as those who were consistent.

So: if this technique is so powerful and awesome, why isn't everyone who has dietary or fitness goals writing everything down?

The answer is simple:

BECAUSE FOOD AND EXERCISE DIARIES ARE A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS.

Truly--when I've wanted to lose weight I've used them. And each time they worked really well. Yet I couldn't wait to stop.

Here are some of the reasons why they suck, even if they do work:

1. Weights and Measures:

Whether you are tracking calories, carbs, points, or the nutritional quality of the food you eat, you probably still want to know how much you're consuming. And in order to learn to estimate portion sizes with any degree of accuracy, you gotta start off by weighing and measuring. And what if you don't have ready access to food scales and measuring cups? Well then you have to consciously overestimate--otherwise, you will underestimate, because you are human.

Similar annoyances apply to exercise diaries, although they're not quite as odious. It can be a hassle estimating how many miles you ran or biked or swam. And can you count walking up and down the grocery store aisles? Do kegel exercises burn calories? Pedometers and map-my-run computer programs can help, but it is likely that the same way you underestimate food portions you will overestimate exercise, so plan accordingly.

2. What the Hell is In Here?

If you are a dedicated, energetic person who is super-conscientious about eating a healthy diet, then you probably prepare most of your own meals. In this case, there are plenty of sources of information in books and on the web that well tell you most of what you need to know in order to track what you're eating.

Or, at the opposite extreme, some people buy nothing but processed pre-packaged portion-controlled food with all the quantities already figured out. (Note: NOT recommended).

But many of us are in the middle: too busy/lazy to cook everything, but unwilling to subsist on microwaved frozen meals. So we buy a loaf of bread at the bakery rather than make it ourselves, or grab take-out Thai for dinner, or pick up a rotisserie chicken or some pasta and a "healthy-looking" tub of sauce from the deli.

Welcome to the Educated Guessing Game! And you know what? The more educated you are, the less fun this game is to play.

If a pre-made meal doesn't contain nutritional information, then how do you know how much sugar, salt, bad fats, refined grains, etc are in there? You have to assume the worst.

This is because the more terrible food is for you, the better it tastes.

People selling food don't care if you want to unclog your arteries or lose 50 pounds. They just want you to buy their stuff again. If they made it really healthy, it wouldn't be as tasty so you might not.

(It's not a coincidence that many people who start food diaries also start cooking a lot more of their meals at home).

3. Obsessive, Perfectionist Thinking

The ability to monitor and track your performance can be a force for Evil as well as for Good if you have perfectionist tendencies. Food and exercise journaling takes long-term goals (like getting to a healthy weight, or running a marathon) and turns them into daily sources of pride or shame.

This is of course awesome when you're doing really well.

But you won't always be doing well, and you need to be prepared for that.

I won't belabor this point because there's a whole post on perfectionism right there on the sidebar, and many of you have already read it. But if you're going to start a food or exercise diary you have to learn to cut yourself some slack and recover from lapses or the whole enterprise will become very unhealthy and will likely quit before you reach your goal.

4. Screwed Up Priorities

You may have all kinds of healthy nutritional goals--eating more whole foods, less processed crap, avoiding transfats or whatever. But it's hard to track a bunch of different goals, and what most people end up paying attention to at the end of the day is a number. How Many? Did I go over my Points or Calories or Carb grams or was I Good?

Likewise, you may have lots of fitness goals, like becoming stronger and improving your posture and increasing your flexibility and endurance--but if you're like most people, you're more likely to track your miles or calories or pounds lifted, and less like to note that you used proper form and did not hurt yourself, or that you remembered to stretch those hamstrings at some point in the day.

This data-driven, number-focussed approach can cause you to put all your energy into things you get "credit" for, and neglect those that don't "count." Which can be problematic when those things you're not tracking are actually really important.

5. It's Too Obnoxious To Keep Doing For the Rest of Your Life

Well, some people can manage but not many. That feeling of being watched and judged and evaluated, even if it's only by yourself, is far more oppressive than just a casual sense that "I need to watch what I eat and get enough exercise."

The goal, at least for me, of doing a food and exercise journal is to internalize those goals and turn them into healthy habits that don't need constant monitoring. For most people, becoming slave to some wire-bound notebook is just too damn unpleasant to do year after year.

But... um... for all that, they do actually do a good job of keeping you on track. Damn it.

So what are your thoughts on Food and Exercise Journals?