Different Drummers

Photo: jbrownell

So over at All Frayed Edges and Shades of Red, Beanie has a great post about her youngest daughter, "The Bug." Now The Bug might take her time tackling developmental milestones, but when she feels ready, well, watch out! She knocks 'em out of the park.

And reading this very sweet post was a great reminder to me that every kid is different, and they have their own timetables and talents and interests. And that this is a good thing, not a bad thing. To try to force a child to be more like the "other" kids is sort of like nagging an apple tree to be more like a rosebush. It won't work. And what good would it do to have all these roses all over the place and no apples? Apples are awesome! And what about apple pie? You can't make apple pie with roses, damn it!

(Wait. This analogy somehow went all to hell. Sigh. Important Legal disclaimer: Cranky Fitness is not suggesting you bake your kids into a flaky crust with a bunch of cinnamon and butter and sugar. It's illegal and unethical and your children probably don't taste very good anyway no matter how much sugar you sprinkle on them).

So the whole notion that we're not all the same and that this is a good thing: gosh, what an original thought! This "duh" moment brought to you by Crabby McSlacker, rediscovering the obvious.

Oh yeah, and then MizFit came along and reminded me again yesterday with a post about being "unapologetically ourselves." Which drove the same message home again: there's no point in being all sad and sorry for the rose bush you're not, when you could be celebrating the awesome apple tree you actually are instead!

And yet, since this message about being yourself and celebrating what's unique about you appears in hundreds of poems, songs, motivational posters, and even commercials selling diet soft drinks and overpriced blue jeans, why the heck is it so incredibly hard to live our lives as though it's true?

Well, I'm guessing part of it has to do with being human, social animals who come genetically pre-wired to want to please others in order to get along. Which is not a bad thing! If our ancestors really, totally did not give a crap what other people thought about them, they'd probably have been way more selfish and mean and probably smelly too, and they would have gotten themselves kicked out their caves and fed to the bears. We who are around now probably mostly descended from the socially aware cave-people who were conversant with group norms and knew how to get along.

Yet many of us, particularly women, may notice that this human tendency to want to fit in can lead to counter-productive behavior. Instead of encouraging ourselves and each other to be who we are, we all scramble to be the same person: slim and pretty and successful and happily married and not too shy or too loud or too big or too sarcastic or too lazy or too frantic or frivolous or serious or lazy or frumpy or spacey or demanding or too... anything! But, sad to say, particularly not too ugly or too fat.

So we beat ourselves up for not being "enough" and compare ourselves to people who are totally different from us, and then we sometimes even gang up on others who act too "weird" or "don't take care of themselves" or otherwise fail to meet our arbitrary standards for what's acceptable. We know this is bullsh*t, right? But we live in a society that encourages it, and it's hard to fight it all the time and so sometimes we don't fight it at all.

And this post was originally going to be an incredibly grouchy rant, inspired by, of all things, the Huffington Post. (Yes, tiny little "CrankFi" was going to take on big ol' HuffPo!) If you don't frequent it, HuffPo is a liberal blogging behemoth with a lot of great contributors (like the awesome Charlotte from The Great Fitness Experiment). And all kinds of empowered women hang out there. Yet which posts are almost always among the most popular? The catty ones critiquing how female celebrities look, or the fawning ones wondering how we can all dress just like Michele Obama. These are not just the most popular in "entertainment" or "style," these are the most popular on the whole frigging site. It drives me nuts every time I go there! (Now watch, today out of spite it will be all serious and scholarly, but go there often enough and you will see what I mean). And I suppose I can't really blame HuffPo for telling me the truth about what supposedly well-educated, politically aware people actually care about... but I can certainly find it depressing.

And then I was going to complain about how many of our insecurities about not "measuring up" are created and exploited by people trying to sell us products. But we all know that already, right? And it doesn't seem to help.

Oh, and then I was going to go into a whole thing about the health and fitness world, and how it's always assumed we all have the same goals, interests, priorities, metabolisms, nutritional needs, pain tolerance, financial resources, obstacles, motivation, and time. When that's totally not true. And how I'm as just as dumb as any other health writer in sometimes mindlessly passing on this attitude that we should all aspire to one way of being healthy, when it's really clear there is no "one" way.

But then I got to thinking about a whole different thing. Bear with me here...

Once there was a little girl kitty who got adopted into a household that already had another boy cat. The boy cat cat was smart and charismatic and knew how to charm the humans by fetching toys and following the humans around and generally being adorable. He was also kind of a bully and would play rough with the girl cat. She liked the humans just fine, but spent a fair amount of time during her first few years hiding under the furniture. Her humans thought she was very sweet, and felt a bit sorry for her, but feared that she did not have much personality.

Then one day, the other cat was gone. (Long, bizarre story there; perhaps another post for another time). And guess what? The little girl cat came out from under the furniture and turned out to have a lovely, sweet, quirky, personality. She was playful and charming and cuddly and wonderful. She'd no doubt been this way all along, but between her shyness, her aggressive big brother, and her clueless humans, her personality had been hidden from the world.

But not squelched.

How was she able to flourish and come into her own after those formative years spent hiding? Well, perhaps because unlike a human, she did not sit there muttering to herself: "why am I not more like my brother? Why can't I be charming and charismatic and aggressive enough to make an impression? " No, Maile ("The Moo") just was who she was, and when she was finally able to crawl out from under the armoire in the bedroom (her favorite hiding spot) without getting chased and bitten, her world finally recognized her for the complex, unique, sweet, loving, silly, cat she was. She was the best cat any human could ever want.

And sometimes I think we should be more like cats and stop worrying about what the other humans are doing. And we should try to create a world where everyone can crawl out from under the furniture and take their place in the world for whomever they are.

So as is probably becoming clear by my use of the past tense, we lost Maile last week and it's been such a sad thing that I couldn't quite bring myself to blog about it. (And I know it doesn't compare to other blogger's recent tragic losses). But I'd like to at least think that I can be grown up enough to take some lessons from the wonderful 18 years we spent with Maile, and try to be smart like a cat and not dumb like a human when it comes to accepting myself for who I am.

And the next time I have the choice between subtly chasing someone back under the furniture, or encouraging them to come out and take their place in the world? I hope I choose the latter. I hope we all do.

Thank you Maile, for all those wonderful years.

You Versus Your Cat: Who's In Charge?

Photo: E. Bartholomew

Remember how I warned y'all that we have visitors in town and I that I'm taking time off from health and fitness blogging? Well, I wasn't kidding!

Today's topic: Who calls the shots in your house, you or Fluffy?

As it happens, there's some new research relevant to the question, and some silly pictures, but I'm mainly curious about what you do about the whole training and discipline question. Do you let your pets boss you around?

(And note: while this post happens to feature cats, I'm very curious how this issue plays out for dog owners as well).

Cat's Rule

In our house, the cat is much more skilled at behavior modification than we are. She has trained us to feed her what she wants to eat; to wake up when she thinks we've had enough sleep; to carry her up and down the stairs when her arthritis is acting up--she can even get us to turn on water faucets and wait for her to finish drinking by boycotting the water dish. We, on the other hand, have trained her... to do absolutely nothing she doesn't feel like doing.

"Lie Down, Maile! ... What a Good Girl!"

How does get away with it? Well, for one, we are mere humans and she is a cat. However, one of our favorite commenters, Mary Anne from Kentucky (who blogs over at Solarity) sent in a study revealing how cats vocally manipulate us. One of a cat's secret weapons? It's called "solicitation purring." They apparently have a very specific purr they use to get our asses out of bed and do their bidding.

Is anyone surprised?


But Some Humans Fight Back!

Got a cat who jumps on counters? Here's one hilariously geeky solution: The Blender Defender. It's either really clever or really crazy. Probably both.

And I keep hearing that cats can be trained to use toilets,

Photo: trainedcat

and even to do circus tricks!

Photo: ehfisher

Alas, not in the Crab/Lobster household. Cuddling and purring, though, she's pretty good at. I guess we can't complain!


How about you folks? Is your pet in charge or are you? Any cute tricks or helpful tips?

Are Pets Good for Your Health?

So there's good news and bad news to report about the effects of pet ownership on your health.

Photo: icanhascheezburger

Now would it make you want to run out and adopt a pet if a study said it was good for you? Or give up a pet if a study said it was bad? As it happens, I have some opinions on that subject (surprise!) which I'll get into in a moment.

But first, the bad news:

According to the New York Times, our cats and dogs are sending us to emergency rooms at alarming rates. Is it because they're all of a sudden attacking us? Should you take the quiz to discover if your cat is plotting to kill you?

Photo: icanhascheezburger

Nah, this article wasn't about animal attacks. It turns out that we humans don't just fall for our pets, we actually fall over them. Yes, falls caused by pets send more than 86,000 people a year to the emergency room, which is five times as many as are hurt by unintentional gunshots. Dogs were involved in 88% of the accidents, though goodness knows cats try their darndest to be underfoot when you least expect them. (They may indeed be conspiring to kill us, but they're not all that good at it yet).

Now the good news!

So a few weeks ago, the Boston Globe ran an article collecting some of the recent research on the health benefits of pet ownership.

And the latest one was good news for cat owners--apparently people who own (or, more accurately, are owned by) cats are 40% less likely to die of heart attacks than other folks. Which seems like a big number! And the researchers took into account other risk factors like age, weight, gender, race, smoking, and cholesterol.

(Um, dog owners? Sorry, in this study, they didn't get the benefits).

But in other studies of pet ownership and health benefits, dogs came out ahead. Dog owners had lower blood pressure and cholesterol, fewer minor physical ailments and were less likely to have more serious medical problems both psychological and physical, than other folks, while cat-owning benefits were not as pronounced. Oh, and since dogs need walking, dog owners get more exercise than other people. Which common sense says is a good thing.

The Problem With Pet-Ownership Studies
As a pet owner, I love these studies! I love any study that says something I'm already doing is good for me. And intuitively, it does seem that pets can confer so many psychological benefits that this could really positively impact physical health as well.

But... I don't actually put too much stock in them. Why not? Because researchers can't just take a big group of people and randomly force half of them to go petless, and then force the other half to care for pets whether they want them or not. So instead, researchers will probably always be looking at people who choose to have pets, versus people who don't. And who knows how much difference is due to having the pets, versus the kind of personalities and lifestyles that drive these choices?

But heck, as a cat owner: yay!

Pets as Medicine
So even if it is the pet ownership causing the health benefits, I think studies like these are a dumb reason for people to run out and get a pet. (And yeah, I also wrote a post about this over at Diet Blog a long time ago). It's just that I worry whenever there's an article like this that people will think about buying a pet like it's a health supplement--some new high-antioxidant acai berry drink or something. (And just in case that analogy was too confusing: You should not attempt to eat or drink your pet! Ingesting your pet will not grant you any health benefits at all!)

Photo: icanhascheezburger.com

Yes, I'm one of those sentimental softies who thinks we should not view pets as just "things" we own. There are already too many people who see them solely as decorative accessories, status symbols, or burglar alarms. We do not need to add a whole bunch more pet owners who view their pets as furry exercise equipment or purring blood pressure medication.

So sure, if you love animals and want one anyway and are weighing the pros and cons, these possible health benefits are a good "pro" for the list. But the best reason to get a pet because it's an incredibly rewarding relationship and it's worth all the considerable trouble.

Trouble? Why, yes, at least a little. Pets are complicated, amazing, frustrating, hilarious, loving, obstinate, unpredictable creatures. They have needs and they must be cared for, and this is sometimes involves a significant amount of work. (Cats way less than dogs, thank goodness).

But in the normal course of events, the amount of pleasure an animal gives totally outweighs the amount of hassle it takes to care for them. But there are gonna be hair-pulling stressful days as well as joyous ones. Someone who is looking for a prescription rather than a companion may not be prepared to deal with the "side effects": vet bills, barking, hairballs, cat boxes, dog poop where you least expect it, the need for obedience training if you have a dog, the need to be trained if you have a cat, fleas, the threat of lawsuits, the limits on traveling or after-work activities, the curtailment of dinner parties if it turns out that 80% of your friends are allergic to your cat... the list goes on and on.

This subject has been on my mind a bit lately, as we have an 18 year old cat whom we love very much. Alas, her health is beginning to decline, and we don't know how much longer we'll get to share our days with her. (And yes, this is the same cat who went through something of an artistic phase, but fortunately she moved on to other forms of self-expression after we changed her cat food. Now instead of "scooting," she stages cat operas at 3 or 4 in the morning. These come complete with dramatic entrances, exits, and lots and lots of bellowing.)

Has her ownership of us for the last eighteen years lessened our chances of a heart attack? Who the heck knows! She's a wonderful cat and has been an entertaining and loving companion. (And I'm not going to write a eulogy yet 'cause there's a good chance she'll rally and be around for many years to come.) We wouldn't trade our time with her for anything, even if it didn't do a thing for our health. And at least she hasn't sent us to the emergency room...

... yet.

What about you folks, do you think having pets or not having pets has an impact on your health? What do you like about having them around (or not)?

Feckless Friday: Scary Statistics and Sleepy Puppies

San Diego's Balboa Park

So the Crab and Lobster are heading off early this morning on a road trip to visit some friends in San Diego. We're psyched!

(And honestly, while driving is risky too, we are very happy we're not taking a plane. Yesterday's water landing and passenger rescue was one of the most scary/awesome stories I've heard about in a while. Three cheers for a well-trained, level-headed, heroic pilot and flight crew!)

Anyway, in addition to being the home of cool friends, San Diego was my old college stomping grounds. (I'm a UCSD alum, Revelle College, class of 19.. ahem, cough, cough mumble mumble). So there are a number of important scholarly questions I must research! Like: What sort of innovative health studies are going on in those campus science labs? Is Filippi's Pizza still there? How about that cheap Mexican restaurant near the racetrack that used to serve wine margaritas to college freshman without even requiring fake id? Are the health needs of the San Diego population being met in a comprehensive and sustainable matter? Is Black's Beach still clothing-optional? Is La Jolla still beautiful and snooty? Is Hillcrest still gay?) I shall clearly be very, very busy collecting important data.

Anyway, with the Crab off on another road trip, and it being Friday...what does that all add up to? Yep, you guessed it--a random mess of leftover research and random links and silliness instead of a real post.

But fear not, Merry will be wearing the Crankypants this coming Monday, and the Crab hopes to get her act together with a post that's actually about something health-related on Tuesday. In the meantime... let's get rolling with the randomness, shall we?

Obesity Not Going Away Anytime Soon

Keep in mind that being merely overweight is not necessarily a health risk--in fact, research suggests those who are overweight but not obese actually tend live longer than those who have a normal BMI. However, obesity is a health risk, and a recently-released health survey says there are now more obese Americans (34%) than those who are merely overweight (32.7%).

Also, with the cratering economy, many health professionals are worried that even more folks will put on "recession pounds." They say "cheap sources of calories tend to be high in total fats and sugars."

(And speaking of recessions and pounds, Ali from The Office Diet wants people to know that her ebook, Dieting Basics, is discounted to $4 through the end of January. Warning to other folks selling things: Ali is a good friend of the blog and has helped us out with quite a few great guest posts! We don't ordinarily put in random plugs for stuff that's on sale unless you do our work for us, or at least bribe us sufficiently. Plus, Ali is a sensible gal and we trust her diet advice.)


Facing Surgery? Will Your Surgeons Use a Checklist?

Most people would see this study on the effectiveness of surgery checklists as a positive thing--after all, once these checklists were instituted at various hospitals, patient mortality rates were cut nearly in half and complications decreased by more than a third.

But yikes! As a worrywart, this study made me even more nervous about ever needing surgery. In the article, it was noted that even after new policies were instituted, compliance with checklists still wasn't great. And experts are skeptical whether surgeons will keep using the checklists, or will start blowing them off once no one is watching them all that closely. Some of the issues these checklists address, like--is this the right patient? Did we leave any sponges inside?--you really hope someone is double-checking on.


Get More Sleep!

There are a LOT of reasons why you need to get enough sleep. A recent study adds yet another one: a better ability to fight off cold viruses. People who slept less than seven hours a night were about three times more likely to get a cold than people who slept eight hours or more a night.


Moving Vans in Blogland:

Was anyone else terribly sad to hear that the amusing and thought-provoking blog Elastic Waist closed its doors at the end of 2008? (Conde Nast, tsk tsk!) However, the bloggers behind Elastic Waist didn't go away, thank goodness, and you can still catch up with their exploits at their individual blogs, or at their new portal site, Dearest Mabel. Also listed as a potential contributor to Dearest Mabel is Jennette Fulda, otherwise known as Pasta Queen! Sounds cool huh? Cranky Fitness wishes all the best for the future success of Dearest Mabel.

And if you haven't updated your bookmarks--many of you have already caught the fact that Leslie Goldman, formerly of the Weighting Game, has moved to a different corner of iVillage and now blogs at Never Say Diet. She also had a great (and scary) piece in Health Magazine recently about her neck/back injury. (I caught it in the print copy; the online link wasn't up yet last time I checked, but be sure to look for it).


Stressed?

Well, apparently lots of folks are these days. How else to explain the exploding popularity and media coverage of websites such as Cute Things Falling Asleep?

Yep, that's what you see lots and lots of when you go there. Here's just one example:



(Warning: do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after watching this).

For more all-purpose, less specialized cuteness, there's always Cute Overload:

(Photo via cute overload)

Seriously, if you like cute, this is the place.

Is there a limit? Is Cute Overload just too much cute for some of you? Here's an alternative stress-reducer: at this site, you can vicariously microwave food and other random objects that have no business being microwaved. The Christmas lights and ketchup packages were both kinda cool. (Oh crap, was this a really unfortunate juxtaposition of items or what?)

Hope you all have such glorious, non-stressful weekends that you don't even need to watch cute sleepy furry things to unwind!

Got anything fun planned?

Slightly Irregular Friday

Photo Credit: Larry

So this was supposed to be a product giveaway post, which we sometimes have on Fridays. But I'm afraid we had some... technical difficulties. A major "technical difficulty" was of course my tiny little brain. One giveaway had to be postponed because I totally screwed up on logistics.

And then another possible giveaway didn't work out because the sponsor suddenly realized, after we'd traded about a dozen emails, that they didn't want to give out any more Free Things after all. Whoops!

However, the P.R. person wondered: would we still like to write a blog post about the fabulous product that they weren't willing to give us anymore?

Well, sure! We'll get right on that! And, um, in the meantime, could we please have some of whatever it is you're smoking?

Fortunately for giveaway fans: MizFit is in the Zone, so to speak, and has a great giveaway going. But since MizFit is the most inspiring and generous blogger on the planet, you've probably already been by there and know that already. Also, if you like the chance to win free stuff, don't forget that Healthbolt has a giveaway going every darn day in December.

So what have we got lined up here at Cranky Fitness? Well, we've got info on how to be a more successful blogger; a brief product review of something I actually liked; an item about a promising low-cal natural sweetener; some silly animals; and of course some totally tacky bathroom humor!

How could you possibly resist?

The Everyday Blogger

Our health blogger pal Steph from Back in Skinny Jeans and Noshtopia has started a new blog about... Blogging! Check out her newest venture, The Everyday Blogger.

For those of us who who blog and want to do a better job of it, or even Make Some Money One Day While Not Going Totally Insane In The Process, it's really nice to get some inside advice. Steph's been there, and has persevered, and she's not just "one of the boys" giving us advice that isn't geared towards our audience or our priorities. Her emphasis is "Lifestyle Blogging," which is not addressed much by most traditional techy "pro" bloggers.

And with absolutely no transition at all, let's talk about...

LightFull Satiety Smoothies!

Recently I got an offer to try some "Satiety Smoothies," and I thought, "what the heck."



There was something appealing about the idea of a little 90 calorie smoothie with 5 grams of protein, 5 grams of fat, and at least a few healthy ingredients in it like fruit puree and yogurt. Because the stuff has fiber and protein in it, it's supposed to keep you full for 2-3 hours.

It's not billed as meal replacement, just a snack. And there are times when I wouldn't mind having additional snack options--especially something sweet and convenient and not too evil. However, I figured there was a really good chance if it was a low-cal fiber enhanced protein smoothie, it would taste like crap.

But I liked the little guys! I'd actually buy them.

Warning: the first one I tried was the chocolate flavor, and frankly, blechhh. Too sweet and dark and syrupy. Would have been fine blended with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, but wouldn't that kinda defeat the point?

But the strawberry, peach, mango, and latte flavors all tasted great! Some folks might not like the slightly sour yogurty flavor, or might find the smoothies too sweet, but to me the sweet/sour balance worked perfectly.

Now no 90 calorie snack can keep me full for 2-3 hours, so it failed on that count. But it did seem filling compared to most things I'd eat for less than 100 calories. And again, it's a convenience food, not a whole food, so just put it in your "convenience/compromise" allotment, if you have one, and enjoy it knowing it's got some good things going for it nutritionally.

LightFull smoothies are billed as "all natural." I'll let you guys be the judge of that: here's their nutritional information. At least it seems they made a sincere effort to limit the junk factor.

But I suppose that depends on what you think of their main sweetening ingredient, erythritol...

Erythritol, a Promising Sweetener?

I'm late to the party; I hadn't heard of this yet. Anyone have any experience with erythritol yet? It also goes by the brand name "Zerose". All I know is that it seemed to taste pretty darn good in the smoothie. According to Wikipedia, (sorry, no time to google extensively today) it's found naturally in fruit juices; it's about 70 percent as sweet as sugar; it has almost no calories; it's Generally Recognized as Safe; and it's OK for diabetics. Also, for whatever it's worth, the folks at Whole Foods have decided it's "natural" enough to sit on their hallowed shelves.

It's a sugar alcohol, but unlike most of them it's digested differently and so is not likely to cause "gastric distress" (i.e., gas and diarrhea). Apparently it does have some taste and texture issues, depending on what you use it with, but since it seemed to work pretty well in the smoothie, I'm finding myself curious to see where else I can use it.

If anyone has looked into this stuff or baked with it or put it in coffee or whatever, please let us know in the comments what you think!

Speaking of Fiber

So the LightFull Smoothies, like many products these days, brag that they have extra fiber. Silly me, I was totally taken in by the health/satiety angle and didn't even realize that "Fiber!" is often just a code word for "Laxative!"

I'm lucky enough not to have "regularity" issues, so the whole issue is just not on my radar. However, I got hip when I went to visit Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment. She has, as usual, a thoughtful and amusing take on the whole "adding fiber to your diet" question. I was surprised at how many women not only make the food-fiber-laxative connection, but then go on to use the laxative aspect to purge for weight control!

I feel so naive.

Do read Charlotte's post, because it's really fascinating. However, I'm going to steal the hilarious video she discovered and post it here too, because after all I promised some Friday Bathroom Humor and I am not above stealing from friends.

Animals Not Exercising.

At times in the past, we have run funny videos of animals exercising, trying to pretend that the "exercise" part lends some relevance to a health and fitness blog. But as Merry recently reminded us, sometimes sleep is more important for your health than exercise!

I don't know why this cracked me up.

Funny Way to Sleep for a Cat - watch more funny videos

Oh wait, maybe I do know why.



(Our energetic cat Maile ("the Moo") sends her regards and wishes you a Most Happy Friday. And yeah, I do know I've posted this picture at least three times now. I can't help it; it's makes me giggle. It's one of her favorite sleeping positions.)

The Annual Cranky Fitness Garage Sale

[By Merry]

Yes, that's the CF "stretch" limo... this car makes you stretch your legs...

It's time to clean out the Cranky Fitness attic and get rid of some of the clutter that's hiding up there. Surplus titles, animal videos that didn't make into a Random Friday post, cartoons, Jimmy Hoffa, LOL Cats pictures... it's all taking up space, and using up a lot of perfectly good electrons that could be recycled. So we're putting up here some stuff that you might be able to use on your blog, or might want to send to a friend, or might find useful for general workplace necessities.

Of course, being a garage sale, you ain't getting this stuff for free. You want to grab a title, or steal leverage a cat video? Then send like payment of something catchy or cute to crabbymcslacker at gmail dot com (and yes, you'll have to tweak that email address jusssst a tad.)

Spare titles that you might be able to find a use for

The Cat Days of Winter
Water you waiting for?
Do I have to shell out clams to get mussels?
Bed, bath, and Beyoncé
The Pound and the Fury


Cute Animals

This one could come in handy next time you remodel:

more cat pictures

"The Best 5 seconds on the Internet"
I know it's been around for awhile, but I love the Dramatic Chipmunk moment.



Sundry work-safe items

When to Make Coffee

more graph humor and song chart memes

Need to suck up to the boss? Try the Automatic flatterer

Think your relationship is bad? Check out this Internet classic:
Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

Want to find a topic to argue with your girl/boy/other-friend?
The Letter in the Pond seems to have struck a chord, good or bad, with a number of people.

Need an excuse for goofing off?


Okay, your turn
Yes, you over there in the corner. I saw you sneaking off with that link. Pay up now.

The Blog Days of Summer

[By Merry]

The weekend is almost here ...

Huh.

I know why you're here.

Everybody else took the week off and you're stuck at work trying to look busy, so you're reading a blog.

Tsk. What would the boss say?

Oh wait, he's one of the ones who took off for vacation. Well then, he's in no position to talk.

Okay, if you're going to be stuck at work, then the least I can do is try to distract you.

Where to go if you're looking for a vicarious vacation

Maui cam
I like this cam of a beach in Maui... I can almost hear the waves lapping against the shore... sigh...

Lion cam
I have to confess, I'm not ordinarily a great fan of Zoo cams. There's usually not a lot happening. This one, on the other hand, is weirdly addictive... at least when it's daytime in Norway. This camera shows a mama lion and several seriously cute lion cubs. If the link is dark, maybe it's not daytime in Norway. Or the server is overloaded. It's popular.

In case you are a wild fan of zoo cams:
Penguin cam

Panda Cam


Useful fitness information
(don't look so surprised, we do sometimes link to seriously useful stuff... once in a while, anyway)

From Hellasound:
Your first marathon: predicting race times and preparation

Useful device of the week:
A cell phone that keeps track of the number of steps you take and also monitors your blood sugar level.

Favorite videos of the week:

Exercise AND animal video of the week:
Cats on a treadmill

Winner of the Fiction, but Could Be Reality category:




Silly humor of the week:
Why Germany lost the war

Sadly, this is an entirely work appropriate picture

And finally, the quote of the week:
"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." - Bertrand Russell

Take the rest of the day off. Tell the boss I said it was okay. Oh wait, that's right, he's on vacation. Well then, go for it!

Have a great Fourth of July, everyone!

Random...Thursday?

[By Crabby]


Random Friday on a Thursday??? What's the Deal?

Sure, it's traditional at Cranky Fitness that Randomness take place on a Friday. But we have Special Plans for tomorrow's post--so what the heck, let's mix things up a bit! What's the worst that could happen?

Outbreaks of silliness, boredom, pointlessness, spontaneous napping...

But no harm done, that stuff happens all the time here anyway! So lets be brave and forge ahead anyway, shall we?


WTF Department: Three Quarters of Women Report Disordered Eating?

You've probably all seen this by now, but a recent survey of more than 4,000 women by University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Self Magazine revealed some interesting attitudes towards eating and weight:

• Almost a third of women reported that they'd induced vomiting, or taken laxatives, diuretics, or diet pills at some point in their lives to lose weight;
• Two thirds of the women surveyed (not including those with actual eating disorders) are trying to lose weight;
• Over half of those dieting were already at a healthy weight;
• About 40 percent said concerns about what they eat or weigh interfered with their happiness;
• Almost 40 percent regularly skipped meals to try to lose weight;
  
• Sixteen percent had dieted on 1,000 or fewer calories a day;
• And thirteen percent had smoked to lose weight.

Note: this survey is, of course, depressing. And it's true that women are far too obsessed about their weight. However, can you really take an online survey of Self magazine readers and conclude that their answers represent the views of all women?

Nothing against the magazine, which runs many fine articles, but it's called Self for cryin' out loud. Could it possibly attract, on average, women who are a little more concerned with, well, themselves?

Wait, this just in...

Ninety Eight percent of Men Spend All Day Long Thinking About Women with Humongous Breasts! ... According to a recent online survey by readers of Juggs Magazine...

(And yes, Juggs is a real magazine, though we doubt they bothered to do a reader survey).


A Little Perspective:

Even Cranky Crabs have to stop whining every now and then long enough to appreciate how incredibly fortunate they are. So sometimes it helps to get a glimpse of how horribly complicated and challenging life could be if you weren't born so lucky.

Via Healthbolt is this rather incredible slide show of a baby born with two faces. Apparently this little girl, born in India, can drink from both mouths and blink all four eyes. Local villagers believe she may be the reincarnation of the Hindu goddess Durga.

I will stop complaining about my sore muscles and crunchy knees now, at least for the next few minutes.

Now This Won't Hurt a Bit:

Here's an odd little news item from Marijke's fine blog: According to the Center for Disease Control, more kids and teens than ever are fainting after receiving vaccinations.

(Later, when the insurance bills come due, it's their parent's turn).

Apparently more adolescents are getting shots now (to prevent meningitis and cervical cancer), and teenage girls are particularly prone to fainting.



So We're Done With Health Now, Let's Bring on the Rest of the Randomness!

We be Zoomin':

Check this out if you like cool weird collaborative art. Zoom in or out and the picture seems to just keep on going and going. (Dial-up warning: the program is slow to load even on broadband.)

This Blog Needs More Smut!

Photo by JaHoVil

Yes, even after yesterday's special episode of Skanky Fitness, we're still pushing porn. We know some of you just can't get enough! This time, be sure not to miss these hot, sexy, luscious photos of...

Libraries!

(They really are pretty cool).

And Just When You Thought You Were Safe...

Remember those cute Lolcats? And how it was possible to spend hours checking out "just one more" funny kitteh? Well...

Via MJ ... if you finally wrested control of your computer back and started to get some work done, we must alert you to a possible new threat to productivity coming your way:

Yep, plenty more where that came from at I Has a Hot Dog. You've been warned.

Have a great Thursday, and be sure to come back tomorrow for a Special Post!

Warning: Particularly Gross Post Ahead

[By Crabby]

(This is just a random cat. Ours was far too humiliated to permit photos).

Seriously, if you don't want to read about my cat's ass, this may be a good day to visit another better blog or website. Go check out Glam's bikini quest, or read Mousearoo's Inspiring Weight Watchers profile, or go see what the Bag Lady is up to today. Check out any of our great commenter's blogs, there's some great stuff going on!

You just don't want to be here today. Particularly if you haven't eaten breakfast yet.

As unsavory as the topic is, I can't even claim to be original in writing about it. There is a much more hilarious post about cats and their anal glands over at 15 Minute Lunch, a consistently funny blog that Cranky Fitness can only envy.

In fact, I owe a great debt to Mr. Virgil. Had I not read his post (and the accompanying educational material about Feline Scooting and What it Can Mean), I would not have recognized the recent butt-scraping behavior of our beloved cat as a medical symptom. I might have thought she was "acting out," or perhaps just being creative because she was bored.

(Would you like purchase photographs of some of her art? "Abstract Browns on An Off-White Wall-to-Wall Carpet, Morning Light Series #4," by Maile Moo, 2008, is still available--at least until the multiple applications of stain remover start to work.)

Alas, it turns out that The Moo (yeah, we call her that, don't ask) wasn't creating art after all. Nor even demonstrating ill humor. True, she was "expressing" herself-- but only in the sense that cats apparently have anal glands that can get clogged up or something gross like that if they don't get properly "expressed." Old cats, in particular, have these self-expression problems.

Good thing I knew from 15 Minute Lunch that upon seeing a cat scoot, one should visit the vet, not the kitty psychiatrist.

I know it's not the cat's fault. So I try to keep any hint of reprimand out of my voice when I see her start to lower her hindquarters toward the floor.

"Maile, no, sweetie, nuh-huh, please don't do that!" I try to say this in a cheerful, non-threatening tone, but with enough emphasis to catch her attention before touch-down. In the meantime, I'm grabbing up handfuls of Kleenex and scurrying rapidly towards the descending animal.

Does your cat have that little sensitive place at the base of her tail? If so, rubbing that spot can often keep the cat from lowering all the way to the floor if you get there fast enough. I don't know why they are powerless to resist this rubbing, but it is a useful trick. If you can get there fast enough with the Kleenex and are up for wiping the cat's hindquarters, that is.

However, one can't possibly anticipate and prevent scooting with any consistency, so we sought professional help to take care of the problem. Unfortunately, after two vet visits and two unpleasant little procedures (for the vet and for the cat--it was no sweat for me!) we still have no guarantee that it's going to go away.

(Curiously, the vet has seen a sudden inexplicable increase in cat anal gland problems. What's that about? What sort of bizarre conspiracy theories can we come up?)

Anyway, our treatment options are, apparently: (1) take the cat to the vet a lot; (2) hope the scooting gets better on its own; (3) opt for surgical anal gland removal; (4) become connoisseurs of Feline Anal Floor Art or (5) learn how to express the cat's anal glands ourselves.

And you know what?

We love that cat--but there is no f*cking way we're going with Number Five.

Gosh, what a fun post to try to comment on! Please do NOT feel obliged to express yourselves on this issue. But if you have any pets or any thoughts on pets and their medical or other needs, feel free to share!

Random Friday Returns!

[By Crabby and Merry]

So we're skimping on actual scientific research this week because nothing new was discovered anywhere in the world we felt more like doing silly items and not thinking too much. Maybe next Random Friday we'll put on our crisp white lab coats and our horn-rimmed glasses and scientificate a little more and sillyify a little less. Maybe.

But here's at least one study:

Old People Not as Screwed, Memory-Wise, As They Used to Be.
[Could Crabby have perhaps put that a bit more delicately? Yeah, but then this would be a different, better blog.]
So according to a study in the journal Alzheimer’s and Dementia, (summarized here), memory loss and thinking problems are decreasing among those over 70. The researchers point to improvements in higher education, economic status, and health care as possible reasons.

However, I'm not exactly counting on my higher education or my 401K to keep me sharp, since I'm already a space cadet to begin with. I don't have a whole heck of a lot of excess brain power to bank on. So until they figure out a cure for Alzheimers, etc, I'm going to keep popping those dang fish oil capsules even if they do give me fish burps.

Guess What: Weight Loss is Simple After All!
Merry spotted this incredible product, via Fitness Fixation, from a company called Too Faced. It's Guilt-Free Lip Gloss. To quote their product blurb, it's "A super shiny lip gloss inspired by Fuze energy drinks that energizes and slenderizes."

Really? Lip gloss can make you lose weight?

I'm thinking the only kind of lip gloss that could truly promise to slenderize would be one made out of Super Glue. But what do I know? I'm a Chapstick kinda gal.

Cranqué Pheeetniss
Crabby, being a crab, naturally dislikes mimes, street artists, jugglers, and others who gratuitously try to cheer her up in public places. So it's not surprising that Merry is the one who dug up this "walking as performance art" video. (Quick poll: Crabby would have so committed vehicular manslaughter about three minutes in. Anyone else? Perhaps Crabby needs to cut down on her caffeine.)

Classy as Always:
Cranky Fitness just wanted to make sure you were up on the latest headlines:
"Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks".

Oh, and speaking of Crack-related items, remember the magazine Cracked, which was a knock-off version of Mad Magazine when we (baby boomers) were growing up? Well, apparently it still exists! And it's actually got some funny stuff. So for those who appreciate culturally insensitive bathroom humor, here's a great roundup of Weird Toys from Around the World. (Note: By "weird" we mean mostly poop-related, and by "the World" we mean Japan.)

Optical Illusion Plus Your Own 'Freedom Passive Income Stream!'
I enjoy optical illusions, but it cracked me up that this one is hosted by some new-agey site promoting inner happiness and schemes for making a quick buck. Material happiness is just an illusion, right? So what happened to those pink dots? And hey, what the hell just happened to my bank account???

Translate Your Blog Into Red-Neck
I was skeptical 'til I tried it, but this blog translation device can be pretty funny. Just type in the URL of your favorite blog (don't forget the www if it's part of the name) and try to resist the sudden craving for a buckit of fried chicken, a bottle a' hooch and a Hee Haw marathon.

Cute Animal Overload (Because We Just Can't Help It):
Computer monitor getting a little dirty? Well, here's a must-have screensaver.

Need help waking up in the morning? Cats really help ease that transition and get you moving:


Or, for those who prefer the quicker cat alarm clock version:


Courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com

Have an energetic, slenderizing Friday everyone!

Mighty Mice

Mouse or Rat? We're Not Sure. Whatever, At Least It's a Rodent.

[By Crabby]

Oh dear, is it Friday already?

For those regular readers expecting the usual "Random Friday" post, complete with an assemblage of bizarro web links--um, sorry! A certain crab didn't manage to put in the usual hours of exhaustive scholarly research mindless web surfing necessary to put one together.

So instead, we have some breaking news about weight training and mouse fitness.

Did you know there are some really strong mice out there hoisting barbells with their tiny paws? And that these mice are better off than the mice who put on their itsy bitsy running shoes and go for a nice long run?

You'd sure think so from this strange little press release (discussed here in case the link screws up again):

"Researchers from the Boston University School of Medicine (BUSM) have demonstrated that in mice, the use of barbells may be as important to losing weight and improving health as the use of running shoes."

Can't you just picture these determined little rodents in their gym outfits and teeny tiny little ipods? How adorable! A whole new kind of gym rat.

Well, turns out that the press release is either (a) trying to be funny or (b) written while on drugs, because despite my hopes there was no actual miniature mice exercise equipment involved at all.

The researchers just genetically engineered a mouse so that they could mess with a muscle growth-regulating gene. (They're called "MyoMice," not "mighty mice," alas). The upshot of the research seems to be that, at least if you're a mouse, weight lifting as you age will keep you slimmer and healthier and more junk-food resistant than running mouse-marathons. It has to do with all the swell things that type II muscle fiber can do for your metabolism.

The implications are that humans could do a better job fighting obesity if they'd lift weights. Good point! However, I just was SO disappointed after that initial paragraph to find out they did not actually design any little mouse-sized Nike's.

But here's what I'm curious about:

We've been hearing for quite a while now that we're supposed to be doing strength training, not just cardio. I make myself do it, even though I don't like it much. (Okay, some days, honestly, I loathe it). But it really does help you slim down and burn more fat and makes you feel all strong and virtuous and smug.

And yet... I get the feeling a lot of people, particular female people, tend to avoid strength training. When I work out at a gym, there are lots of gals on the treadmills and ellipticals, yet I don't have much female competition for the weight equipment. (And among my friends and relatives--far more pay attention to cardio than bother with weights) .

What's up with that? Is it fear of bulk? Is it psychological? Does strength training truly feel more miserable to women than to men?

I'm curious if you all have any theories. Or whether you guys do weights yourselves. Or is it perhaps something you keep meaning to get around to.. "some day?"

Random Friday

Afraid this Friday is even more random than usual, folks, if that's possible. And don't worry, we won't spend too much time on anything educational!

Good News: Being Overweight May Not Kill You After All.

At least if you're not obese. (This study probably merits an entire post, which Crabby swears she'll try to get to before too long).

So as you may have noticed: there seems to be at least one dire health warning every day about the dangers of carrying even a few extra pounds. So you would think all this Horrible Dangerousness would add up to a much shorter life expectancy, wouldn't you?

Well, no, as it turns out it, it doesn't.

According a CDC study (summarized here), people with a BMI of 25-30 (overweight but not obese) were actually less likely to die of a bunch of things, like emphysema, pneumonia, injuries, and infections. And they were not any more likely to die of heart disease or cancer than folks who were not overweight.

Surprising, huh?

Of course health experts had to jump in almost immediately and say, well, extra weight may not kill you faster but it's still bad for your health, blah blah blah. Crabby wants to spend a little more time surfing the web, giggling over funny videos studying the issue thoroughly before she posts her thoughts on this. She's always skeptical about studies that contradict what we've been hearing forever so there's probably something wrong with it, but, well, in the meantime...

Cupcake, anyone?


Seriously?

"Hide Your Old Pills in Poop, Government Says" is the actual headline to this Reuters safety advisory, though they might as well have called it: "Crabby, You Have to Post About This!" because how could she possibly resist?

So why should you be putting prescription drugs in your pet's poop? Because if you flush unused prescription drugs down the toilet, the fish get poisoned, and if you just throw them in your trash you might tempt your friendly neighborhood junkie.

(Fortunately, Crabby can safely ignore this rather unsavory public service announcement. She hasn't scored anything interesting enough to tempt a junkie since her wisdom teeth were yanked a quarter of a century ago, and she finished those nice pills all up. So sorry, junkies!)


And Speaking of Somewhat Unsavory Health Warnings:

You know all those recent recalls of dangerous toys made in China? Well, it's not just toys for kids that are affected. This amusing article warns of the dangers of toxic, well, lets just keep calling them "toys" shall we?


Making A Beer Gut Look Suddenly More Appealing...

Via the reliably awesome Fitness Fixation, Cranky Fitness has been alerted to an elective cosmetic surgical procedure that makes even this one look really reasonable. Check out the before and after picture showing surgically sculpted "six pack abs" that guys are paying to have etched in their torsos.

Hot? Or not? Whaddya think?

(Also, Kelly helpfully supplies this awesome link: find out about an Extremely Tempting Recreational Opportunity).

So, abandoning for now all pretense of being a "health and fitness" blog...


Musical Cranky Fitness!

If Crabby could carry a tune, you can bet she'd run right out and sign up for one of these nifty Complaint Choirs. What an awesome idea! Grumblers like Crabby gather in communities around the world to bitch, moan, and whine to music. About everything!

Crabby could sing you a song right now about how embedded YouTube videos never work for her, but instead she'll direct you to a handy video page . Once there, you can pick a choir and hear folks from different nations complaining that their beer costs too much, that their exes are sleeping with their flatmates, and that their mascara is all smudgy.


And Happy Anniversary, Jon Carroll!

Who is Jon Carroll? Well, he's not just the guy who brought the Complaint Choirs to Crabby's attention, he's also her very favorite newspaper columnist of all time. He writes for the San Francisco Chronicle, and apparently this week is the twenty fifth anniversary of his column! Crabby has read practically every single one of them since the very beginning, and has so much admiration for the guy she could practically burst. (She saw him in person once, at a garage sale in Berkeley, and kind of stalked him for a few minutes. She feigned interest in some used books and considered approaching him to complement him on his wit and intelligence and humor but chickened out, which was probably just as well. Crabby blushes and babbles when she's nervous and would have made a huge mess of it).

Anyway, Jon's been web savvy since before blogs were invented--so you don't have to live in San Francisco and pick up a Chron to read him. You can check him out at the above links and subscribe to his column, just as though he were an obscure blog like Cranky Fitness! Oh, and special bonus, at least for some of us: he sometimes writes about his cats.


Speaking of Animals...

So this isn't exactly an animal "exercise" link (a Friday tradition) unless you consider hunting a sport. But hunters think hunting is a sport, and that's good enough for Cranky Fitness. Crabby tends to avoid stories about hunting because she doesn't like to hear about animals getting shot. When dogs shoot hunters, however, she finds herself quite willing to read all about it. (Via Weird Its).

But don't worry; no guns in this amazing video--it's really quite inspirational (though a bit long; Crabby bailed once the talk show part started.)


Got anything on your minds?

(More at icanhascheezburger.com)

Please tell us all about it in the comments, and have a great weekend!

Do You Sing to Your Cats?

She Appreciates Every Single Song, Really

This is one of those rushed days when Crabby wishes she had stockpiled some more handy guest posts. The Crab and Lobster are in the middle of buying a new house and getting ready to sell their old one, and, well, this process can disrupt one's blogging routine! There are decisions and negotiations and surprises. And lots of and phone calls and faxes and estimates and to-do lists and arrangements and chores, chores, chores. Crabby hates chores.

(As it happens, Mary over at Sheesh is also doing the house-hunting thing and blogging about it very amusingly, if amusingly is indeed a word. Poor Mary doesn't even realize that she's going through the FUN part right now).

So in lieu of researching some Important Health thing or other, or thinking up something sensible to say about Motivation or Personal Development or Nutrition or whatever, Crabby thought she'd just rip off a topic from a way wittier, clever-er blog so we could have something to discuss here at Cranky Fitness. (It's not even a particularly health-related subject, unless you want to go for the whole Mental Health/Stress Reduction angle. Crabby's really just stealing the idea because the post made her laugh).

Anyway, so Kristy at She Just Walks Around With It has a great post about the major joys/minor annoyances of pet ownership, and she ends up discussing the weird effect pets can have on their owners.

In particular, Kristy notes that pets can inspire us to: "create and SING SONGS to them. For them. About them. Bad songs. Ridiculous songs. Songs that make no sense and that the cats (or other pets) pretend they couldn't care LESS about, but which you sing with fervor because you know -- KNOW -- that they secretly love it. Love. It."

Just an informational aside: Cats don't, as a rule, speak English or any other human language.

Yet it's interesting to discover that composing and singing special lyrics to your cats is something a lot of people do! Along with making up multiple nonsensical nicknames for them.

The Crab and Lobster are guilty on all counts. Lots of Silly Nicknames and Stupid songs. How did a cat named Mailie (pronounced My-Lee) become "Mailie Moo" and then simply "The Moo?" Who knows. After a while, it doesn't even sound weird anymore.

"Have you seen the Moo?" the Crab might ask the Lobster.

"She was in the Moo Hole last time I looked," the Lobster might respond. (The Moo Hole is a pile of pillows and blankets specially constructed each morning on the bed so that the Moo might have her favorite warm place to burrow).

And then the Crab might launch into a Mailie Moo Song, and the Lobster might join her. Even though the cat is upstairs barely within earshot... because the Crab and Lobster know that the Moo will hear it faintly and feel special.

So of course Crabby was relieved to discover that she and the Lobster are not the only cat-serenading Nutballs out there in the world. Kristy is a Nutball too!

Are any of you? And if you have a pet or not, what do you folks think about singing to your pets?

Late-Breaking Links

In case busy readers have already finished perusing the Random Friday Linkage, here's a Weekend Update: Still More Cranky-Fitness-Friendly Linkage!

Not that Crabby will ever get around to acknowledging all the great bloggers she's friends with. But these are a few that really should have made it into yesterday's post if Crabby was paying better attention.

First off, Dr. J is now officially on the web at CalorieLab, with an amusing, informative, and smart-assed guest post!

And BunnyGirl had a great submission posted at The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.

Also, Gal at 60 In 30 has an interview with a some random health blogger who shows clear signs of mental instability.

So what about the Gratuitous Animal Exercise Linkage? Well, these photos are not really associated with the blog, but they're pretty damn amazing.