Was it Something We Said?

[By Crabby]



Warning: this post is pretty much bereft of any breaking health and fitness news. But as Mary is busy moving right now, our standards are temporarily lowered. Do come back though, as she won't be gone forever.

Oh wait, here's a health item.
I saw this in the paper and it's sitting right here so why not? A test is in development may allow dentists to spot breast cancer with a saliva test. They've just identified a bunch of new proteins associated with breast cancer that will raise the accuracy of the test, they believe, from 85% to 95%.

Won't that be a nice non-intrusive way to look for early signs of a deadly disease? We're used to spitting at dentist offices anyway, and they're pretty used to dealing with our spit, so it works out great for everyone. Unfortunately though, the process for testing and approval is excruciatingly slow, so it looks like it's still a few years down the road until it's good to go.

Whoops, It's Statcounter Again
Anyway, here's the actual reason for the post: I was checking my statcounter recently, and came across some interesting entries. Now that Cranky Fitness is a little bigger, I can no longer catch all the comings and goings, but I do like to pop in and take a peek whenever I can. (Oh hell, why try to pretend: I'm still totally addicted to stats, even after being forced to change from Sitemeter to Statcounter.)

(Technorati's good too, but it's not as fun since we lost almost all the old links by changing from the blogspot address. Sigh. So if you're a blogger doing Cranky Fitness the tremendous honor of linking to us, it is even more appreciated if you use the www.crankyfitness.com address so we look bigger and more influential like a real blog!)

Anyway, what did Statcounter reveal?

First the good news:
Cranky Fitness got a very nice endorsement from a blog we admire very much, Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds. But this is not just a courtesy "thanks for the link from a blog with lots of visitors" mention. This is to urge you go visit Wide Lawns and check it out. If you enjoy quirky, bad-ass, opinionated, hilarious, uncompromising, extraordinarily well-written observations, family history, and personal anecdotes, do stop by. This is a blog written by a real writer, a fact that makes me insanely jealous.

Now the Weird News:
Cranky Fitness has been blocked! We are apparently offensive enough to have been filtered out by members of "Covenant Eyes," a group dedicated to helping protect the vulnerable from the lurid temptations of the internet. Of course, we're horror-struck to have run afoul of a group so friendly with the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families. (We won't link there, you can google. Though we totally approve of both Children and Families).

So what was it we could have posted that triggered this? Is the frequent use of f*ck and assh*le? Perhaps they are not fooled by the use of asterisks. Is it the penis post in the sidebar? The vagina post in the sidebar? (Maybe they know what a hoo-hoo is). The post on gay bombs? The fact that many people arrive here googling "big bouncy breasts" only to discover a post about leotards and sports bras?

Or perhaps it's not our content. Perhaps Cranky Fitness is just so darn addictive people are having trouble staying away from it and it's ruining their lives. (Sure, that's it!)

Who knows. We won't lose any sleep over it. In fact Cranky Fitness can only aspire to become more of an addictive destructive internet temptation--like Sitemeter and Statcounter! (In our dreams).

Sitemeter: Gone (Sigh).

Warning: this is a rambling Sunday post about Blog Things. Regulars know that Crabby is even Slackier than usual on the weekends. Sorry, newcomers, posting will be much more health related during the week. In the meantime: check the Archives for actual health posts, or find another fine blog on the sidebar to visit!

So Crabby confessed earlier that she has a serious Sitemeter Addiction. What is Sitemeter? It's a free software program that compiles statistics and tells narcissistic bloggers whether anyone is visiting them.

So when narcissistic blogger asks, "Sitemeter, please tell me, is anyone looking at me?"

Reassuring sitemeter says: "Yes, Crabby. Three people are indeed looking at you this very moment."

"Hooray," cries Crabby, "They see me! They see me! My very existence is validated! Thank you, dear Sitemeter."

"No problem," says Sitemeter. "Happy to help."

(Brief Pause).

"Uh, Sitemeter? How about now? Is anybody looking at me now?"

This is sort of how the whole day goes between Crabby and Sitemeter.

Crabby will admit--she's had an infatuation with Sitemeter that some might consider unwholesome.

So come to find out--Sitemeter is not quite the benevolent suitor Crabby believed she was dallying with!

Crabby recently received news that her Very Special Friend has been getting a bit too cosy with Visitors. Rumor has it that new tweaks in the Sitemeter software are getting snoopy, and may even be trying to track people. Is this true, is it bad, is it serious? Crabby, frankly, isn't entirely sure. But she read a post by another blogger who dug around a bit more, and it raised some concerns.

Crabby loves her visitors and doesn't want them spied upon. Also, selfishly, she does not want to been seen as "unclean," her blog home infested with Cooties.

So Crabby, sadly, had Sitemeter escorted out the back door of Cranky Fitness. She mourned for a bit, then switched to a Cootie-free program, Statcounter, instead.

But it just isn't the same.

Crabby, sadly, still pines for Sitemeter.

Statcounter looks different. Statcounter works in a slightly different way. Statcounter speaks in an unfamiliar voice, one not as soothing. While Sitemeter and Crabby shared a history; Statcounter has no idea who Crabby is or that were days when she had many visitors.

Statcounter thinks Crabby is a nobody! It thinks she never had any visitors before.

"Statcounter? Statcounter? Is anybody looking at me?"

"Not at this time, Crabby. It's the weekend, for crying out loud. People have better things to do than read your blog. And you have better things to do than watch them not come here. Remember those posts you just wrote about 'balance?' Go outside and play!"

Oh.

Statcounter is not as nice as Sitemeter--but perhaps that's a good thing.

Sitemeter!

This is another bloggy post that has nothing to do with health. Immediately preceding this one, however, is a nice boring study about Tea. Readers, you know who you are and what you want to read about--feel free to skip either or both of these.

(Similar to Crabby's 90/10 rule for healthy eating, she has a rule about what she writes about: every now and then, if she's managed enough broccoli sprouts and strength training and Omega 3's, she gets, as a treat, to indulge in a post about blogging itself. She is somewhat obsessed with blogging, being brand new at the whole business, and has reluctantly given herself a diagnosis of blogitis, which may or may not be a real disease).

So Crabby, as a blogitis sufferer, naturally finds herself totally infatuated with Sitemeter. For those nonbloggers who've hung in this far, "Sitemeter" is a toy that bloggers can use to see if anyone is coming to visit them. (Statcounter is another version).

Did you notice Crabby was gone for a few seconds just then? Well, she was. She went off to see if any new readers arrived while she was composing the first three paragraphs.

Yes, it's that addictive. At least it is to Crabby. She has a serious problem with Sitemeter.

Do other more seasoned bloggers have any advice? Does this disease go away on its own?

Readers, do not be alarmed, because Sitemeter does not know who you are. But depending on your computer and ISP and such, Sitemeter might know what country or city you live in. (When it guesses at a city, however, it's often wrong. It doesn't care so much where you live, as much as where your Internet Service Provider lives. (Or at least that's Crabby's guess). However, countries are good too. For an introverted blogger, the fact that folks in Singapore or Italy or Brazil are popping in for a visit is thrilling enough.

Sometimes Sitemeter knows how you got to the blog, other times not. Sometimes it can tell if you left right away; other times, depending on how you leave, it has no idea how long you were there.

(Hint: we bloggers like it when you hang out for long periods of time and go through the archives! Do remember that many of us are narcissists and need to feel as though someone is paying attention to us. Pathetic? You betcha).

On days when the Sitemeter is popping along at a good clip, Crabby is happy! On days when it pokes and sputters, Crabby is sad. Crabby needs, she fears, some sort of intervention.

It's easy to anticipate that in a few months, Crabby will find herself very embarrassed by this post. The affliction will have passed, the numbers (she hopes) will have grown enough so that the need to track the coming and going of virtually every visitor will seem laughable.

However that day has not yet arrived. Oops, excuse Crabby for a moment... she'll be right back.