The Bilingual Brain: Benefits and Befuddlement

Photo: wikimedia

By Crabby McSlacker

My latest folly: I'm trying to learn a new language. Spanish! Which among other uses, might come in handy for a pair of snowbirds always on the lookout for warmer climates to flee to during winters.

But I did not study Spanish in school, or in any other setting ever. I'm starting from absolute scratch. And yeah, I did spend many years in California, where Spanish is widely spoken. But my brain was completely impervious! None of it ever registered. Even the annoying ad campaign for Taco Bell didn't manage to teach me the meaning of "Yo Quiero Taco Bell." How could "Yo" mean "I" anyway? It should mean you for heaven's sake.

So I'm only a couple of months into it, and I'm well aware that the whole "maybe I could learn Spanish" thing is, in many ways, a stupid idea. It could so easily turn into just another temporary diversion I've taken up and then later abandoned when something else new and shiny comes along.

Plus: I'm 57. I'm already starting to struggle to find words in my first language. Every new Spanish word I try to memorize is just a brand new chance for my brain to say WTF? Where the hell do you think I'm going to put this?

And yet...

Let's Hear it for Rationalization!

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, I didn't get around to writing a blog post this week, unless you want to try to count this one. Does it make sense that my turning 57 today somehow prevented me from posting something earlier in the week? No, it does not!

It also doesn't make sense that the passing of another year should grant me immunity from the effects of eating gratuitous Evil Things, or consuming potent beverages, or generally doing whatever the hell I want.

Don't f*ck with me on my birthday.

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I get spoiled on my birthday, by my most awesome wife, who always makes it special. So special the holiday has been officially expanded to two days, and includes both a delicious home cooked meal as well as a dinner out at the restaurant of my choice.  Plus fun things to open.

Yet that doesn't stop me from spoiling myself, too. A massage. A stroll through town with perhaps a stop for coffee or lunch. Some window shopping... or perhaps I'll even make a purchase or two.

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I do spend a little time reflecting on how lucky I am, and all the things I have to be grateful for, because I'm not a total idiot. But it's mostly about: the hell with responsibilities, what fun thing comes next?

Do I exercise on my birthday? Well, yeah, I'm weird enough that I wouldn't enjoy the day if I didn't do something, but I pick a favorite thing. Right now my favorite thing is to go for a run on a beautiful nearby trail, caffeinated up to the gills, blasting glorious energizing tunes at unsafe volume through my headphones.

(To each her own, you may be thinking.)

Some people would rather have a party.

Can you spot the Party Prankster? (Asshole.)
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Some might prefer an outdoor cookout.

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But what about you guys, what do you like to do on your birthday?  And do you use the occasion as an excuse for some creative rationalization?

Lifetrak Zoom HRV Review

By Crabby McSlacker

As a greedy, gadget-obsessed health blogger, I was pretty psyched to get the opportunity to review the Lifetrak Zoom HRV Zoom HRV activity tracker. (And, full disclosure: I got to keep it).

The Zoom measures a wide variety of activity metrics from your wrist (or ankle, or forearm). What you do not need to use the Zoom: a chest strap!

So I've been testing the Zoom out for a couple of weeks in true Crabby McSlacker style: misunderstanding instructions, forgetting to hit "record" to begin or end my workouts, failing to appreciate the nuances, and finding myself too lazy for a comprehensive data comparison with my other activity tracker, the Polar M400.

Yet my lack of reviewing diligence does not, of course, keep me from having opinions.

So what's good and bad about the the Lifetrak Zoom? And who should buy one and who should not?

Time to HIIT it?

photo: the Department of Defense

By Crabby McSlacker

In the last few years, you've probably heard the same unwelcome advice quite a few times: for optimal health, you should be adding some High Intensity Interval Training to your weekly routine.

But all too often, nutrition and exercise research gets overhyped and exaggerated. Just let enough time pass, and other studies can come along to soften or even reverse recommendations that all the excited "experts" were so adamant about.

In the case of something as odious as High Intensity Interval Training? It makes a lot of sense if you've been waiting to be absolutely sure it has merit before jumping on the bandwagon. Especially since you're supposed to be jumping on that bandwagon with such speed and vigor that you may faint, vomit, or burst into tears before you're done.

And what if you're middle aged or older? You may be thinking: don't I get a pass? Hell, I should be getting extra credit for doing any sort of exercise at all, given how sedentary everyone else my age is. Surely I'm not expected to be sprinting up hills, busting out burpees, or pedaling all out on a spin bike until I'm struggling for breath so mightily I can't even toss out a few choice obscentities?

Well, a new study has a little more information to add to the discussion. And of course I have some thoughts to contribute too, since I always have thoughts about everything whether I know what I'm talking about or not.

Giveaway Winners and a Happy Belated Mother's Day!

By Crabby McSlacker

So first off, thanks to everyone who stopped by to comment on our book giveaway here at the blog, or on Facebook, or even via direct email, an option a few of you chose. I've assigned y'all numbers and am going to fire up the ol' random number generator in a minute. Isn't it exciting when I do this in Real Time?

Yeah, so ok, I guess if I don't hit "publish" until the whole post is written, you're not reading this yet, so it's more like Surreal Time, but work with me here.

But before I spin the Big Virtual Interweb Roulette Wheel, I just want to acknowledge all the awesome mothers out there, my own and everyone's everywhere including YOU if you fit that description!

I don't have kids myself. Having carefully considered the job responsibilities and remuneration and having concluded "no f#cking way," I have nothing but admiration for all you out there who took the job on, and perform all the daily heroics required to do it properly.

For the record, I think it's shitty you only get one day of recognition.

Hell, today is apparently National Nylon Stocking Day and National Chocolate Chip day. They get the same amount of time you Mom's do?

So let's pretend the fact I'm a day late is really because I'm giving you another additional Mother's day. Round those kids up and tell them to make you another burnt-toast breakfast, and tell Hubby you're eating out again tonight, damn it, because Crabby said it's the new Law.

Anyway, in honor of your extra day,  before we get to the giveaway winners, here are two belated Mother's day-related links:

Are you following Vita Train for Life yet?  She's always a fun and inspiring read, and you may want to check out the Eight Reasons She's Not a Real Parent.

And for the Other Mothers out there, whose children may not be human but are nearly as demanding? Here's a video that already been all over the Web because as usual I'm the last to see these things. But whatever.

Okay, so now let's get down to Giveaway Business.

Who won Elizabeth Babcock's most excellent book Why We Overeat and How to Stop?