Let's Hear it for Rationalization!

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, I didn't get around to writing a blog post this week, unless you want to try to count this one. Does it make sense that my turning 57 today somehow prevented me from posting something earlier in the week? No, it does not!

It also doesn't make sense that the passing of another year should grant me immunity from the effects of eating gratuitous Evil Things, or consuming potent beverages, or generally doing whatever the hell I want.

Don't f*ck with me on my birthday.

upload from x-ray delta one

I get spoiled on my birthday, by my most awesome wife, who always makes it special. So special the holiday has been officially expanded to two days, and includes both a delicious home cooked meal as well as a dinner out at the restaurant of my choice.  Plus fun things to open.

Yet that doesn't stop me from spoiling myself, too. A massage. A stroll through town with perhaps a stop for coffee or lunch. Some window shopping... or perhaps I'll even make a purchase or two.

upload from x-ray delta one

I do spend a little time reflecting on how lucky I am, and all the things I have to be grateful for, because I'm not a total idiot. But it's mostly about: the hell with responsibilities, what fun thing comes next?

Do I exercise on my birthday? Well, yeah, I'm weird enough that I wouldn't enjoy the day if I didn't do something, but I pick a favorite thing. Right now my favorite thing is to go for a run on a beautiful nearby trail, caffeinated up to the gills, blasting glorious energizing tunes at unsafe volume through my headphones.

(To each her own, you may be thinking.)

Some people would rather have a party.

Can you spot the Party Prankster? (Asshole.)
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Some might prefer an outdoor cookout.

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But what about you guys, what do you like to do on your birthday?  And do you use the occasion as an excuse for some creative rationalization?

Birthdays: Fun? Or Do They Scare the Crap Out of You?

photo: James Vaughan

By Crabby McSlacker

Well, I'm not thrilled that the number keeps getting bigger.

54?  How the hell did that happen? I feel... 33.  I'm not sure why that seems like the right number, but it does.  Sure seems a better fit than 54.

How many more birthdays do I even have coming to me?  It's creepy when you pass the halfway mark. Starts feeling really important  to be less of a nitwit about how you spend your remaining years. Some stuff is important and some isn't, and at least one great thing about middle age is finally knowing the difference.

Gamblin' Again

By Crabby McSlacker

Gambling seemed like a natural theme for this next camera phone travel photo dump, since:

1. The last similar post was called Ramblin' Again and it rhymes;

2.  We just got back from Reno, a town known as a gambling destination, where we went to celebrate my mother's 80th birthday; and

3.  Life is a crapshoot, right?  You peek at the odds, you roll the dice, and you take your chances. No no matter how carefully you plan--or whether you don't plan at all--there's no way in hell you can predict exactly what's gonna happen.

Turning 53 and Up to My Ass in Whey Protein Powder

Yep, in attempt to solidify my health blogging reputation as a PR rep's worst nightmare, this post is indeed partly about some very tasty 365 Everyday Value Vanilla Whey Protein powder.

How thrilled the folks at Whole Foods will be to see they've secured a great blog review accompanied by reference to, and a picture of, the reviewer's posterior!

But hey, we're all about multi-tasking here at Cranky Fitness, so the post is also about greed, aging, and birthdays.  Plus it contains a sincere cry for help.

Birthdays: Love 'Em or Hate Em?

Cartoon courtesy of someecards

Yep, it's that time of the year again for 'ol Crabby McSlacker.

With increasing emphasis on the 'ol.

I used to think it was pathetic that people would get so whiny about birthdays. Birthdays are fun! And it's just a number, right? It's not like you actually age an entire year in a day. You age the same amount every day, which is 24 hours.

(OK, so that's not entirely true. When you get that letter from the IRS saying you've been selected for an audit, or the airplane you're flying on hits major turbulence and plummets a few hundred feet, or when you find out how many calories are in that peppermint mocha "coffee drink" you've been getting at Starbucks--those are the kind of days you might actually age a year.)

But even though I used to think birthday whiners were being silly, I too began to have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I think it has something to do with reaching those "how they hell did I get this old" years.

And it's really unfair; you try to adjust to a new preposterous, clearly-there's-some-mistake number, and then ... wham! About three weeks later, the number's bigger again.

However, despite the whining, there are a number of reasons I still love my birthday!

1. Attention.

I know some people HATE for others to know it's their birthday. They don't like the idea of people making a fuss over them.

And I'm a shy person, so you'd think I'd be one of those "oh please don't tell anyone" people.

But I'm not! I love it when people say "happy birthday," it's like getting compliments, only you don't have to do anything to deserve them but stay alive. And so far: mission accomplished!

On the other hand, I do NOT like the everybody-sing-happy-birthday thing, especially at restaurants. Does anyone actually enjoy that? Has anyone ever heard that song rendered entirely on key? And isn't it kind of a lame song to begin with? You know no-one wants to be singing to you, they just feel like they have to or they'll look mean, or maybe they're a waitperson and it's their job and they'll be fired if they don't. However, I don't like being the reason for forced, faux-cheerful singing. It does not make me feel festive, it makes me feel icky.

Though I will of course happily endure the ritual if some sort of free dessert is involved!

2. Cake

This needs no explanation. I could eat birthday cake every night.

3. Presents

Some say 'tis better to give than to receive. That's a great notion! And I think people who like to say that should just give me all their birthday presents--that's a win-win for everyone.

4. Indulgence

My favorite treat in the world is a massage, and I always get one on my birthday. This is like birthday cake for the whole body!

5. Indolence.

I try to work out extra the day before and take care of chores in advance, because I love to laze around a bit on my birthday. And as you can tell from this brief and non-health related blog post, I'm definitely in slothful birthday mode!

6. Spoiling

The Lobster manages to find ways to spoil me all year round, but she goes all out on my birthday. It's really hard to resent that extra year when I get an annual reminder of how amazingly lucky I am!

So what do you folks like or hate about birthdays?