Runners -- a surly bunch

[By Merry]





Did anybody notice anything different about this week?


Abducted by aliens whilst undergoing rehab

Whaddya mean nobody noticed that I've been gone? Poor Crabby has been stuck carrying the whole blog for over a week and nobody noticed?
Hmph.
Fine.
Be that way.

I was going to write up a big dramatic story about being abducted by
aliens, or going into rehab, or going on strike, but the heck with it.


Crabby goes camping, Merry starts carping

No, I don't mean fishing for carp. I'm whining because work has been
taking up valuable time that I could have spent dating, dining, dancing,
or dallying on blogs. There's been no time for such frivolities. But I
still have been making time to go to bed each night.


Sleeping with Bob Costas
For the last week or so, I've been putting myself to sleep by watching
the Olympics. I go to bed with Bob Costas, and wake up with Matt Lauer.
(Not the image you wanted? Sorry.)

Didn't mean to churn your stomach with that image...

Research, that's what it is. I've been tirelessly researching how cranky Olympic athletes can get.

Those gymnasts are so perky and positive that it's scary.

Happy, happy, happy day!

They all hug and congratulate the evil scumbag rival athlete who just beat them out of a medal what were the judges thinking by a fraction of a point. The swimmers pound each other on the back after a match, rather than trying to shove the opponent's head under the water for a few hours seconds. Real or Memorex, they're all at least trying to be good sports.

Did you see the end of the women's marathon? The winner, okay, I'll give you that. She won, so it's understandable that she should wrap herself up in her country's flag and run another lap just to show off. Fine. Not sure why the 2nd and 3rd runners also felt they had to do a victory lap wrapped in their country's flag. But did you notice how isolated they all seemed? They waved to the crowds and smiled at the cameras, but completely ignored each other. At one point a couple of runners who were cooling off almost walked into each other, but even then they didn't make eye contact.

I'm not counting the relay teams -- they're one unit, essentially.



But while competitors in other sports interact with their rivals, individual runners don't. After a race, they face straight ahead, or up at the sky, down at the track, anywhere but at a competitor. They are alone. They are communing with their inner coaches. Or they are a bunch of surly anti-social bastards.

I knew there was some reason I like hanging out with you guys.

Runners are a surly bunch

What is it about running that makes it such an anti-social activity? At least anti-social at the Olympic level. People running a 5k seem cheerful enough. Maybe that's because they've been getting lots of perks and goodies. (Note: we need to check with our European researchers to determine the ratio of cheerfulness/goodies in European runners. Xenia was lamenting the lack of goodies in the races she's run in Britain. The phrase "cheap bastards" was used.)

Are runners at the Olympic level different from other other athletes? Or is it the whole track-and-field atmosphere that's somehow less jovial and jolly than the gym or the pool? Or even that Bob-awful endless beach volleyball. (It's always on! Every night! You can't escape it! It makes me want to use exclamation points! Excessively!!!!)


Anyone have any good examples of interactive cheerful runners? Please feel free to leave a comment saying "Merry, you fool! What about that runner who was cheerful and perky and went around hugging all the runners who just beat him?" I might have missed him whilst I was sleeping with Bob.

Okay, I did see one runner hug his compatriot who just won a race. Just one. But I consider this to be an anomaly designed to weaken what was otherwise a damn fine hypothesis. I haven't seen any cheerfulness or huggy behavior undertaken by one runner to another who was from another country. So there.

Act Your Age?

[By Crabby]


The swell folks at That'sFit alerted me to this story about Madonna turning 50.

Turns out, Madonna held a Fiftieth Birthday party at which no one was allowed to mention the fact she was 50 years old. (Confidential to Madonna: better idea? Just don't have a freakin' Fiftieth Birthday party. Are you really still in dire need of attention and presents at this point in your life?? )

Oddly enough, none of us here at Cranky Fitness were invited to the celebration, so we don't know if she was successful in squelching any of that nasty Fifty-Year-Old talk. But my guess? She probably pretty much gets what she wants.

Yeah, I swiped a photo just this once.
Sorry! Please don't sue me.

Now when I first heard this, I thought: well, sounds kinda vain and immature. Aging is a tiresome, depressing, yet natural and inevitable part of life--you can run but you can't hide, no matter how many personal trainers, surgeons, chefs and publicists you employ.

Get over yourself, Material Girl.

But then it turns out this was totally unfair of me, because Madonna's not really Fifty years old at all--she's only turning Thirty Six!

"Using ancient techniques known only to a select few, the high priests of Kabbalah have calculated her spiritual age to be 36, not 50."

So, um Happy Thirty-Sixth Birthday, Madonna!

But goodness, if I'd only known these sort of arrangements were available, I'd never dithered around being agnostic all these years.

Calling Kabbalah**: it's Crabby on the line! Can I have a new age too, please? Let's see, older or younger, which will it be... um, gosh, let's make it younger, 'k?






Oops... maybe not THAT much younger. Teething was a bitch.

(And I'd sooner drink drano milkshakes for breakfast than go through Junior High again, thank you very much.)

The thing is, though, I can totally relate to Madonna's dilemma. As a Boomer myself, just a few years behind the Material Girl, I too feel I shouldn't ever have to grow up, let alone get old.

I workout, I feel (mostly) great, and I want to think that most of my life is still ahead of me. There are still so many places to see, books to write, cupcakes to eat...

And I don't FEEL old, damn it! I feel about thirty. And I like being thirty, despite what the calendar says. Yet unlike Madonna, I can't seem to remain as effectively in denial. When I look in the mirror, I see plenty of evidence that I am indeed advancing in years. Every day there's some new wrinkle, age spot, gray hair, crease, crevice, or floppy bit.

So this would be a great place to write something inspirational about how the surface stuff really doesn't matter much in the scheme of things, and how I really don't give a crap that I'm not actually 30, either chronologically or when I look in the mirror. And gosh I'm SO looking forward to turning 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 myself...

But that would be complete horsesh*t. I'd rather be 90 than dead, but I'm not really looking forward to being either.

(But who knows, according to some folks, aging may some day be optional!)

So how do you folks feel about your chronological age versus your actual age?

**I know no more about Kabbalah than I do about Zen, so feel free to flame away in the comments about my ignorance!

Stability Ball Winner

The Random Number Generator has spoken, and the winner of the Stability Ball giveaway is:

Praying Horse!

Please email Crabby McSlacker @ gmail dot com with your mailing address (and perhaps a name, unless your postal carrier can find you just fine with Praying Horse) by Thursday night, Aug 21st, midnight EST to claim your prize.

And there were some hilarious comments on that post; thanks everyone!

Bad, Bad Crab

[By Crabby]

Alert readers will have noticed that Intrepid Co-blogger Merry Sunshine has taken a couple of days off. (She is rumored to have an actual JOB, which unfortunately tends to cut into one's blogging time, especially when work matters get hectic).

So instead of one of Merry's great posts, you're going to get an apology from the Crab, who was supposed to get a post together for today but did not.

[Photo credit: Flikr ]
And yeah, I just used this photo a couple of weeks ago.
See how lazy I'm getting?

Instead, just a brief blog announcement and a few links:


Next Week: A Nice Change of Pace!

Perhaps today's failure to get a real blog post together is a sign that it's time for a brief blogging break? Well, whether it's a sign or not, the Crab and Lobster are taking a camping trip next week, heading off in Fran the Van to visit Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park.

Whoopeee!

Merry will still be here (yay!) and we will have guest posts, so you'll barely notice I'm gone. But then Cranky Fitness will be all out of guest posts! So as a reminder, we're always on the lookout for health & fitness related posts, maybe 750ish words or less--and funny is best. Or if funny isn't your thing, then maybe you actually KNOW something about your subject and can supply helpful information. (Something of a novelty at this blog). So Email if you've got something!


A Look Inside an Eating Disorders Clinic:

Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment writes another compelling blog post about the heartbreak of treating eating disorders. Whether it's a humorous topic (not this post) or a serious one, I think Charlotte is one of the most talented writers out there in blogland.


Will Laughing Harm Your Fetus?

Gazelles on Crack, another blog you should check out if you don't already visit regularly, answers a pressing health question with all the seriousness and expert knowledge readers of Cranky Fitness have come to expect of health and fitness blogs.


Zen and the Art of Grocery Store Lines

A comment following yesterday's post took exception to my use of "Zen" as an adjective, and in a follow up comment TK of Rough Road Studio, one of our favorite commenters here, writes an eloquent response. Then she puts those Zen principles to work while stuck in a hypothetical grocery store line. Here's an excerpt:

"...I look at lines and stuff that throws my day off track with as much equanimity as I can muster with the tools I have learned in my Buddhist studies. I can choose to suffer when things go differently that what I wanted (ego judgment) or I can choose not to suffer, to maintain my equanimity, which then turns it all into practice in letting go of the ego-self and it's resultant clinging. It really is a choice we make, but we have to begin with the awareness that we do actually have a choice, and that we do subconsciously make it. If I can see that it's not personal, that it just is (whatever "it" is), it's easier to subdue the ego that wants to fume and fuss, and find someone to blame. For example, when there are two checkers and 25 people in line and I was supposed to have dinner on the table in 20 minutes, I can choose to let my blood pressure climb and be a shit about it, or to instead have compassion for the clerk stuck there with 15 fuming people in line, and he's going as fast as he can, or not because he's freezing up in fear. When I have compassion then I am practicing. The more I practice, the more easily I attain equanimity. It's so much less stressful to choose to not have a tantrum."


Are You A Dick?

Heavens no, none of our readers are dicks! But if you want to find out what they're up to, head on over to Dickipedia. Latest dick: Ted Stevens.


Optical Illusions!

If you didn't see these over at Healthbolt last week, check 'em out, they're very cool!


"Ambigram" T-shirt:

For those who have "mixed feelings" about life, or just want to mess with people's heads... these T-shirts say "Have a nice day" viewed right side up.



Upside down? Not so much.



Some Exercise Do's and Don'ts!

And finally,Urban Critter sent this to me, as we have been remiss in meeting our monthly lolcat quota!



more cat pictures

Sorry folks, that's all I got. Will try to do better tomorrow!

Ready, Set,... Ah Hell.

[By Crabby]

Is Transition Time Eating Up Your Day?

Does anyone else find that a really huge and annoying percentage of the day seems to take place not actually doing things, but getting ready to do things and tidying back up after the things have been done?

"Going to the gym," for example, may consist of working out for an hour or so, but is that how much time you need to budget for it?

No, of course not! Not unless you work as a personal trainer or have a home gym and happen to spend all day in your gym clothes, ready to go at any moment. Oh, and you'd also need to manage to work out vigorously without perspiring.

Depending on your routine, "going to the gym" could also consist of finding your car keys or bus pass, collecting all your gear, getting out the front door and remembering you've forgotten something, starting all over again, driving, finding parking, waiting in line at the front desk, chatting with friends, changing into workout clothes, using the restroom, working out (which could also including waiting for machines or class to start or whatever), going back to the locker room, trying to remember which day locker you put your stuff in, stripping off your sweaty clothes, showering, drying your hair, applying deodorant/lotion/sunscreen/make-up or whatever you tend to slather on yourself, putting on your clothes again, getting back into your car... and then, finally, getting ready to do the next thing.

Don't You Hate It When You Realize
You've Forgotten Something Important?
Photo by NataliaEnvy

And yet, some folks stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that life is like this. They are surprised, every single time, when things take so much longer that they should. How come the day is over already and so many things didn't get done?

It's my theory that people who tend to be lead healthy, balanced, productive, yet stress-free lives are often really good at mastering transitions.

Alas, I am not one of those people.

I would further hypothesize that there are at least two important components to mastering transitions, both of which I suck at. But if you, unlike me, actually want to work on these two things, perhaps you can be one of those Successful, Balanced, Healthy, Stress-Free Productive People!

1. Prepare Ahead or Improvise?

Some people are natural "prepare ahead" types; others may have to try to teach themselves this skill. Pack your gym bag the night before your workout! Make a list of things you need to pick up after work! Have a single place to keep your keys so you don't put them down all over the house and then forget where! Think through meal planning, shop for days/weeks/months in advance, cut things up for the week ahead, make extra portions to freeze for later, and have lots of matching food storage containers that are not warped and actually have tops!

There are people out there who actually do all this stuff, consistently, and you rarely see them at work all wild-haired because they forgot to bring a brush to the gym, or guiltily scarfing sad vending machine items because they didn't manage to pack a healthy lunch.

Those of us who wait until we're hungry for dinner and then stare into the refrigerator and realize we need to go shopping unless we want to make a meal out of microwave popcorn and canned tuna and raisins? And then three hours later we're back from the store and actually finally eating something and wondering if the dishes will just this once agree to do themselves because, damn it, it's bed time already?

We're the ones who don't tend to get stuff checked off our "to do" lists very often. (Not that we're very good about making them in the first place).

2. Philosophical or Frantic?

Whether you prepare well or not, there's a certain amount of transition time that everyone has to go through. We need to gather things up, we need to get ourselves places, we must wait in lines and endure delays and deal with things that break at the wrong time or people that don't do what we want them to.

Some people take a very Zen* approach to everyday transitions. Life is life! Might as well enjoy each precious moment! So what if those moments are piling up and you're stuck in a long line at the grocery store and the cash register does something funny but the clerk doesn't know how to fix it and the supervisor is busy elsewhere and no one is opening another checkstand and a little boy is screaming Mommy Mommy Mommy Lookit Me Lookit Me over and over and over but Mommy is still not Lookitting?

Smile! It is what it is. You'll be out of there soon enough. We'll all be "outta here" soon enough.

Anyway, others of us are not so Zen. We get frustrated and make ourselves miserable; we rush and so we forget things; we get anxious and frantic and fumbly so we drop things and lose things and break things. We try to extract revenge on obstinate inanimate objects or, better yet, find culpable humans to blame when things go wrong. We rage and fume and fret and worry, which doesn't get us through our transitions any faster or more happily. Yet to change our approach? That would mean effort!

Perhaps some day I'll join the Stress-Free Healthy Balanced Productive People Crowd, and life will seem like it's all Doing! and not so much the Getting Ready and Cleaning Up!




But then it just wouldn't be Cranky Fitness, would it?

How about you folks, are you all Prepared and Zen, or do you struggle with all the extra crap that gets in the way of Doing?


*Like many health and personal development bloggers, I often invoke "Zen" principles without having any idea what Zen is about, liking the sound of it but being too lazy to educate myself. Actual Zen people--feel free to make tsking noises, if you Zen folk are allowed to do things like that.