January 28, 2014

Cold or Flu: How to Tell the Difference?



By Crabby McSlacker

So as I was saying yesterday, I seem to have caught some sort of bug. And I'm being a big ol' baby about it.

As someone who frequently claims that I "never" get sick, this was a blow to my cherished illusion of invincibility. I like to believe that a lifetime of exercise, plus consumption of all those damn vegetables, has made me superhuman, someone impervious to disease.  But apparently I am pervious after all.

On the other hand, once I realized that I did indeed did have something, and actually a nasty something that makes me feel like I've been run over by a freight train, one about 7000 cars long, I actually found I wanted it to be the flu and not a mere cold.

Is anyone else this weird?


It's like, if I'm gonna feel crappy, I want credit for it.

Wait, credit? Credit for what? Credit from whom?

Is the Universe actually tallying suffering and keeping books and making sure everything evens up at some point? Because if so, I am totally screwed.  I have suffered far less in my life than any spoiled whiner in the history of spoiled whining. So I don't think it's about that.

It's more like when I was a little girl and hurt my wrist, I was totally rooting for it to be broken rather than just sprained so I could come home with a cast for show and tell.  (It wasn't broken. I was so disappointed!)

Except that now I am 53 years old. And no one actually gives a crap if what I have is technically a cold or the flu.


How clueless is it to hope I have the flu rather than a cold? If I only have a cold, it means I'm going to feel better way faster than if I have the flu.

Actually, what I really want is to find out it's the flu, but then I want to be completely over it in a day or two because I'm such a bad-ass that my immune system can kick influenza butt.

Yes, I am this immature.  Welcome to Cranky Fitness.

Bring me things, nice nurse! I have the flu!
photo: wikipedia


Cold versus Flu Symptoms


Anyway, my desire to justify my bitter complaints about feeling under the weather led me to do a little online research on cold vs flu symptoms. And this being a health blog and all, I thought I'd share. But as usual, when it comes to anything health related, it got confusing and contradictory.

According to Web MD, here's  how the Cold vs Flu thing breaks down:

Fever: While some colds may involve fever, fevers are more likely with flu, and they're higher and tend to come on suddenly.

Headaches: more common with flu, less with colds

Muscle or body aches: more common and severe with flu

Fatigue: sometimes with colds, usually with flu

Downright Holy-Crap Exhaustion: more of a flu thing

Stuffy or runny nose and sneezing: Can happen with both cold and flu but more common with colds.

Sore throat: Also more of a cold thing.




In addition, the University of Maryland Medical Center mentions that flu symptoms include dry cough, loss of appetite, chills and sweats, and, particularly in kids, can include nausea, vomiting or diarrhea.

But then I came across a cool looking site called "Decoded Science" that looked pretty sensible. And while they had similar guidelines as to cold vs flu symptoms, they also had this to say:


So What Does Crabby Have?

I don't currently have a physician in San Diego, so this of course all half-assed self diagnosis.  My preliminary call was: flu.

I've never had a cold without a stuffed nose, but that is curiously absent with this illness. Also no sneezing. I started with some digestive upset that I will not get graphic about, and I've got a headache, cough that will not go the fuck away, and it feels like my lungs are filled with lead, until I cough, and then the lead turns into glass shards. I have periodic chills and rushes of heat (though being menopausal, the heat part is not exactly foreign). I am wiped out after walking a few blocks in the neighborhood, and I just generally feel foggy and feeble and even a bit depressed. This escalates to full on zombiehood by evening.

When I've had a cold, I've always felt pretty functional. Back in the days when I worked in an office, I was one of those jerks who'd go in anyway,  spread my germs all around, and save my sick days for when I felt well enough to enjoy them.

But I wanted corroboration! And fever seemed to be a prominent differential.  So when I went and purchased a thermometer to check out the fever thing yesterday afternoon?




I kept sucking and sucking... but 99 was as high as I could get it.

WTF?  You stupid cheap-ass walgreens thermometer, you must be lying!  So all this misery is just a cold? I was, I confess, feeling ripped off.

(Although I did discover that you can have a flu without having a fever.)

But then in the middle of the night I woke up feeling even worse than yesterday, took my temperature, and voila:

101 degrees!

Yay?

Anyway, I've prescribed myself rest, ibuprofen, cough syrup, zinc lozenges, and plenty of liquids, including some leftover chicken vegetable soup with a ton of garlic I had in the freezer.


It tastes way better than it looks.

And guess what?  It turns out that dark chocolate fights colds and flu! And that dark chocolate may be a cough suppressant!

Best. News. Ever.


How about you guys, thoughts on illness or anything else?   





34 comments:

  1. I sympathise with the whole flu thing (just think yourself lucky you're immune to man flu!) and hope the ultra-garlicky chicken soup (which sounds delicious) does the trick, but...

    Does it really justify eating chocolate made from endangered species? Is this some kind of cocoa-based variation on the tiger balm thing? I expected better of you, Crabby.

    PS - What are you doing crawling from your sick bed to post? Go and get well! Now!

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    1. Well, I'm posing FROM my sick bed, but I have also scheduled plenty of napping Lucky Duck.

      And you totally cracked me up about the chocolate! Who knew elephants and monkeys and wolves and tigers and such were so tasty?

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  2. Good diagnosis, Dr. Crabby!

    My go to test is if it hurts to run a brush through my hair, it's the flu :-)

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    1. Thanks Dr J! Love the hairbrush test. And if you were closer by I'd be sitting on your doorstep, hoping for an impromptu consultation!

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  3. Ugh - I'm sorry that you are sick at all but certainly if it's the flu!!!
    And, on the fever thing - I never take my temp but I know when I've been at the Drs and they take it, 99 is a low-grade fever for me because my norm barely reaches 97.
    Feel better - try to relax, watch smut TV (or whatever you like!!), sleep, read......

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  4. I totally understand the validation that comes from the flu vs the cold or the break vs you are just complaining because it hurt and nothing is wrong with it arm. I always feel like if its the flu I can justify vegging out on the couch and getting drunk on movies but if its just a cold I have to push through and still function, feeling just bad enough to be a real B.

    Get well soon! No reasonable person can stand to be sick for long - so expect the anger to start rolling in as the fever rolls out - at least that's me - I get super pissed about day 3 into it because I hate feeling crappy. Then I think about people with chronic illness and stop whining.

    Hang in there!

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    1. Thanks for the warning about the day 3 pissed-off thing Anew! I'm thinking that's gonna TOTALLY be me because subconsciously 2 days seems about the limit for my tolerance with feeling lousy. (And with you on the chronic illness thing--have NO idea how people cope!)

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  5. So sorry to hear you are sick! You should absolutely use it as a reason to be totally self-indulgent. I hope it goes away soon.

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  6. You have the flu! Or maybe pneumonia! Or bubonic plague! Whatever you got, it's BAADDD. Ok - I'm no doctor (I just play one online). But the kind of sick you are is definitely worthy of tons of sympathy and generous favors from friends and loved ones. So just go with whatever you want (Jello? Saltines? Nice little cool sponges?) and whine away until this passes.

    Apparently, I have ice water running though my veins (my temp rarely goes above 96 or 97) - so, 99 is most definitely a FEVER for some of us more cold blooded types. Seriously - I feel all run over at the 99 degree mark. Anything worse and I feel like I need to be carted off to the hospital - such a wimp am I! So - yeah, I also need and want some kind of confirmation from the universe!

    Take care and - like DRG says - INDULGE in whatever gives you comfort and relief, Crabby!
    Anon

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    Replies
    1. Thanks anon, and funny so many of us run "cold"--I too am far below 98.6 normally. Maybe they just made that up??

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  7. Everybody knows that if your really sick you get gifts!!! Tonsils equals ice cream and a new doll. Broken arm means a cool cast and lots of hugs. If mom accidentally hits you with a shovel breaking 2 fingers you get a sleepover with your friends. A cold means you can stay home from work and lie around unwashed for days watching TV.
    Start milking this flu for all its worth! Drop some hints about what would make you feel so much better!

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    Replies
    1. Oh dear, that shovel story does not sound exactly hypothetical Cindy. Sure hope it was an AWESOME sleepover!

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    2. All of my comment is the unvarnished truth particularly the unwashed part. It drives my mother crazy when I tell people she broke my fingers hitting me with a shovel and just leave it there with no explanation.

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  8. Crabby, thank you for this. Now I don't mean thanks for getting sick because I would rather you be healthy. But husband has a cold and that means mine's a scan few hours away. I have plenty of chocolate in the house to ward it off so I will get right at it. And for supplying that knowledge, I am grateful.

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  9. Sounds to me like you have a terrible case of ebola, but that you are able to fight it off due to that exercise and vegetable regime. Awesome immune system, girl!

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    Replies
    1. Ebola! That's it Trabb's boy! No wonder I feel so godawful. That ebola will knock you right on your ass. :)

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  10. Good news about the dark chocolate.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

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  11. Yay- I'm glad I'm not the only one that hopes for bruises when I hurt myself. When I played water polo, I always hoped for a black eye when I'd get hit. Sadly, I only ever got one despite much abuse under the water. Feel better soon!

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    Replies
    1. HH, you played water polo? WOW!!! Wanna be my new best friend?

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    2. Oh I just hate that. I hardly ever bruise even though I can feel where I was hit. The exception was when I went out in a tube on my tummy behind a speed boat. The tube kept hitting me under the arms. It didn't hurt at all but my arms were black top to bottom on the underside. That was so cool!!!

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    3. Ouch! This is good info, not that I would EVER be brave enough to play water polo. Does seem you should at least have some good black eyes and bruises to show for it.

      And speedboat innertubing--another one I ain't gonna sign up for any time soon.

      You guys are adventurous!

      Delete
  12. You know Crabby, I tell you and I tell you: nr. 1 cause of ALL illnesses?: The consumption of vegetables. I am never sick, never touch the stuff (unless it is disguised by pounds of cheese and sour cream or...something) and yeah, correlation TOTALLY = causation. Screw research, just take my word for it. Sugar rules! I wonder if I just lost my Cranketeer membership card...
    Hope you are back to your old self very soon, whatever this thing is and yeah, milk it for all it's worth, because you may not see such sympathy and gifts for 5 more years, especially if you follow my advice ;)

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    1. A cranketeer membership card comes complete with privilege of bitching about vegetables and lusting after sweets dlamb, so no worries there!

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  13. My only thought is that mommy better not get sick!

    Hope you feel better soon, if you want to.

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  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  15. I hope you are feeling better quickly!

    Late in 2012 I had the FLU and I thought I might die. A couple of people in the area did actually pass away from it and they were just young women...so tragic. This year I decided not to mess around and have a flu shot. So far, so good.

    I do eat dark chocolate every day, so that may be helping as well. I just know I don't want to have that "all my bones have turned to shattered glass" feeling ever again.

    Take care of yourself!

    P.S. One day I am going to leave the typo in my comment and carry on like it doesn't bother me...today is not that day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I probably shoulda gotten a shot myself Kimberley but since I "never" get the flu...famous last words.

      And too funny about the typos--I've gotten so I"m surprised when I leave a comment that DOESN'T have one!

      Delete
  16. Can I make the comments reappear by posting one? Or are they a victim of the flu?

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Mary Anne for the alert, I had no idea!

      I was trying to integrate stupid f--cking google plus and apparently it wiped 'em out.

      Delete
  17. there you go again with the jumping all over my current topics of googling! I too have finally caught a cold/flu and have been searching for just this very information. i have not had these cooties in over 2 years at least. i'm 61 and my immune system is hella also. or at least it was until this thingy.

    thank you for this great article and now that you got the fever - i checked and never did - go ahead and start feeling better.

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    1. Sharon, it's my theory that this bug is one of those sinister kinds that somehow TARGETS people who don't get the usual stuff, just to mess with our heads and remind us we are mortal.

      I wish I could tell you that it passes quickly but that would be a lie. I'm only finishing up day 2, so the fact that I still feel totally miserable doesn't mean much, but those who preceded me and are further along tell me that it's a nasty tenacious thing that takes a while to fight off.

      Hang in there!

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  18. ((washes hands again compulsively and knocks on everything neither she nor the child are sick))

    xo

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  19. Hope you feel better soon. My boyfriend also has that "invincible" mindset and acts like a complete baby during the rare times he gets sick. He gets this weird thing where his lymph nodes swell up and he can't talk and his throat hurts for like a week. He gets it every year and no doctor has ever been able to tell him what it is.

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    1. Sounds like mono + strep throat, or just the strep!

      Delete

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