Many of you may already be familiar with the exercise program Cross Fit, which is designed to "forge a broad, general, and inclusive fitness."
Crossfit says its regimen can be adapted by almost anyone, including "terrorist hunters, skiers, mountain bike riders and housewives."
(Note: I assume by "terrorist hunters" they mean: "people who hunt terrorists" and not: "hunters who use bombs to scare the bejeesus out of ducks and deer." )
So, are you interested in becoming a terrorist-hunting, skiing, mountain-bike-riding housewife who can kick some serious ass? Then maybe you should think about CrossFit!
But how does it work? Well, CrossFit gives you a simple list of exercises to perform every day. Unless it is a Rest Day, in which case you get to rest! The list is different each time, but it is rarely very long.
If you are a CrossFit regular and know what you are doing, then you just man-up or woman-up and do the exercises. If you are new and clueless, the routines are explained somewhere else on the site. You can do the exercises in a gym specially designed for CrossFit, a regular gym, or you can buy exercise equipment for your own basement or garage.
I confess: I have kind of a crush on CrossFit.
Now it's true, I've never actually done a CrossFit workout, but check out all the reasons CrossFit seems so cool:
What's Awesome About CrossFit:
1. Really tough, strong people do it and get even tougher and stronger.
2. The list of things you need to do each day usually looks pretty short.
3. There's a whole community of people who do their CrossFit thing and then post pictures or videos of themselves doing them. It's sort of like amateur porn, only it's not dirty.
4. The CrossFit people often give their workouts sweet names like "Pamela" or "Betty" even if the routines themselves might totally kick your ass down the stairs and across the street.
5. There are supposed to be ways to modify the exercises to make them doable for anyone, which involves clicking around the site more than I felt like so I haven't found them yet.
6. As a cranky crab, how could I not be drawn to something that starts with the word "Cross?" Because I'm always cross when I try to get fit!
Then Why Don't I DO CrossFit, if I Have Such A Crush on It?
Well, just because you may have a crush from afar, this does not necessarily mean that you are destined to spend your life together with the object of your affections. Perhaps some things are just not meant to be.
Oh wait. Let's see, most Cranky Fitness readers are heterosexual females... Sorry about that, I'll translate:
Sure, nice to think about--but you might not want to goclear out a space in your garage or basement for him just yet.
Anyway.
On its face, CrossFit appears to be a simple, powerful, and effective approach to getting fit. But when you delve a little deeper, you might discover that a lot of these exercises are really hard, and the way you're supposed to use the equipment may make you unpopular at your current gym, and there may not be a special CrossFit gym near you, and that the DIY approach to turning your garage into a CrossFit facility is more than a bit daunting.
So here is the Crabby McSlacker alternative approach to CrossFit, which I'll call CrankyFit!
Step 1: Consider reading all the helpful orientation information on the CrossFit site, so you can learn the philosophy behind CrossFit; how it works; what equipment you need; where to find the videos that demonstrate the exercises; where to find a trainer if you want one; how to modify the exercises to better match your abilities, etc.
Step 2: Decide that would take too much time. Instead, check out the exercise for today.
Let's use an example from last week, shall we?
"Do 30 muscle ups for time."
Step 2: Think: well, gosh, I'm not sure what a muscle up is, but how hard could that be? And just 30 of 'em? Awesome, I'm there!
Step 3: Prowl around the site and find out what a "muscle up" actually is. Hint: the show-offy folks in the 100 burpee challenge video did some muscle-ups towards the end; it was that cool looking thing with the rings.
Step 4: Realize there is no way in hell "muscle ups" are gonna happen in your lifetime.
Step 5: Note there is an alternative suggestion: "If you cannot do the muscle-ups, do 120 pull-ups and 120 dips."
Step 6: Note that there is no alternative to the alternative suggestion.
Step 7: Start fantasizing about eventually being able to do 1 unassisted pull-up, let alone 120 of them. Consider purchasing a pull-up bar for home use. Spend 3 hours on the internet selecting the exact over-the-doorframe pull up bar you would purchase, if you could convince your spouse it was a justifiable expenditure.
Step 8: Get out a tape measure and discover that because of the fancy trim you have around your doorways, none of the over-the-doorframe pull-up bars would go over your actual doorframe.
Step 9: Realize that if you want to do 120 pull-ups and dips, you're going to have to go to the gym and use the gravitron thingy.
Step 10: Once at the gym, realize you don't want to do 120 pull ups and dips. Instead, decide to do 8-12 (assisted) pull ups and dips like you normally would, and then go do the rest of your regular strength training routine, and then do some cardio, because, well, that's just what you do when you're at the gym.
Step 11: Come to the conclusion that while the fantasy of being told what to do every day for exercise is very appealing, in reality, you don't actually like to be told what to do, pretty much ever.
(However, if you are not a Cranky Crab, CrossFit may be just what the doctor ordered).
Anyone here a CrossFit fan? Have any other kinds of exercises you have a crush on from afar but have trouble actually committing to?
