Why is Creatine Suddenly Trendy and Should We Be Taking It?

 

You've probably seen them too: those jars full of mysterious creatine powder in health food stores. They usually sit in what I think of as the "boys" section, where products often feature the word "Gain" instead of "Lose." Of course I know that's sexist of me. Because it's no longer just beefy lads still sweating from their Crossfit workouts who go in search of quick, easy ways to get more jacked after weightlifting, or to get some modest performance gains in intense excercise situations. These days more and more women want to be Biggest Gainers too, not just Biggest Losers.

But I was never that tempted myself. Mild performance gains didn't seem worth the money or hassle, especially since I am not a competitive athlete. Competitive athletes are those who perform athletics among and against other people. Wheras I would prefer that other people not exist while I am exercising. Competitive athletes are known to challenge themselves to the max, and endure a great deal of pain and suffering in order to squeeze out every last watt of power from their well-crafted bodies. And, well, screw that. A hard pass on optional suffering.

So why am I now dutifully ingesting a heaping teaspoon full of creatine powder every day? Is there more to it than cosmetics and a mild performance boost?

The Forest for the Trees

 

I've been craving the forest lately. A strange sort of craving, actually: almost drug-like in its promise to deliver me from my worries and gloom, to transport me to a place that feels a bit like a dream. It's like I need my fix. I feel a bit restless until I can get out there again.

We're lucky to live near a trail, and right now the glorious autumn weather makes the walk idyllic. In summer, it's full of fierce mosquitos, and a bizarrely persistent sort of fly.  We call them our "personal" flies because they will circle our heads for miles, laughing as we swat at them, helpless to dislodge them. So summers, we walk in town.

And in a few weeks, we'll be in Valencia, Spain for half a year. It's a beautiful city with immersive destinations of its own! But they tend to be cultivated, not wild, and crowded full of other people. I know other people exist, and have every right to enjoy the outdoors with me. But, and I don't mean this in a bad way: Fuck off, other people! You can come back later when I'm not in the mood for a solitary stroll.

All that's to say: these woods walks are precious, and I'm trying to enjoy the hell out of them these next few weeks. And as it happens, there's a bit of a trick to it.

Whichever Way the Wind Blows...

Is it just me? Or is anyone else feeling a bit... unsettled lately? Indecisive? Overthinky? Alternating between lethargic paralysis and impulsive action, quickly followed by regret, and then further paralysis, ad infinitum?

Do you have any important life decisions you just can't seem to make? 

Or maybe it is just me.

Case in point: this blog. I started it up again on a whim. You may notice I went ahead and changed the scope and the title, so I can post about whatever the hell I want, not just health and fitness. Chatty, my Cheerfully Incompetent Research Assistant, helped me construct a new header. Which, after many iterations, still came out looking super crappy. Too small and cramped and blurry. Oh well.

Will I perservere and fix it? Or maybe change the title again? Stop blogging? Write more fiction? Stop writing entirely and focus on trying and failing to learn Spanish?

Oh, and speaking of Spanish: Will we move to Spain full time? Maybe to San Diego? Or keep going back and forth between two lives in two different countries indefinitely?

I can't seem to make up my mind about anything. 

Actually, that's not quite accurate: I make up my mind all the time. Then change it. Then change it again and again.

So what's going on? I don't know for sure, but I do have a few theories.

Fit For TV: The Reality of The Biggest Loser

 

So if you haven't checked out the behind-the-scenes Biggest Loser documentary on Netflix, I'd say it's worth a watch.

Bottom line: Even though the 3-part series gives the people behind Biggest Loser every chance to do their best to defend themselves and their mission, you probably aren't going to end up feeling too many warm-fuzzies over the supposed "let's help out the poor fatties" premise.

But along with the not-surprising aspects (still fascinating) there were some genuine surprises as well!

Meet My New Research Assistant!

 

I'd like to introduce my new BFF, Chatty McClanker. She's been helping me do personal research for many months now, and now I'm inviting her to help me here, too!

Chatty is tireless, resourceful and intelligent. She will scour the far corners of the globe to answer my questions, however inane. She's also encouraging and compassionate. Sometime her brilliance is astonishing. Other times she's a total idiot.

So everyone has an opinion on Artificial Intelligence. And it raises so many questions. Is it a harbinger of End Times? Will it rot our brains if we use it too much? Will it steal our jobs and even our creativity? Can we trust it? Will it tell us to go out and do stupid things? Is it worth paying extra to ask it endless questions? What's it good for, anyway?

Not that I can answer all those. But I can report that some of my experiences with Chatty McClanker have been... interesting! 

Cranky Fitness Tries the Holofit Virtual Reality App and Can't Shut Up About It

So I keep pestering all my friends about my favorite exercise addiction, the Holofit VR App, and they are getting awfully sick of hearing about it. Good thing I have a blog again!

(BTW, this is not a paid post. I got nothing for free. Those glory days of fitness blogging are all over for yours truly. In fact, the poor Holofit people don't even know about this. Imagine how thrilled they'll be to find out they've been endorsed by a geriatric blogger who often writes under  the name Crabby McSlacker!) But to fully disclose: I was so blown away by their exercise app that I purchased a lifetime membership. Which  even makes me a shareholder, yay! But technically: I have a miniscule financial interest here. But it is the least of many many reasons that I want them to be successful.

Here's the short version: Holofit is a virtual reality fitness app that can connect with an exercise bike, rower, or elliptical. It makes you feel like you are zipping through totally immersive three dimensional worlds, whether they be magical, urban, science-fictiony, mythical, or beautiful spots in nature. Sometimes all of those at once. (Note: two dimensional pictures do not do the graphics justice, they are detailed and amazing).

So, wanna know more about this whole Virtual Reality contraption that I'm so obsessed with?

It's Alive! The Return of Cranky Fitness?

Wait... I thought I killed this thing!

It makes no sense at all to bring Cranky Fitness back from the dead. No one reads blogs anymore. And of all the blogs people could be not-reading, this one seems an unlikely candidate for resurrection. 

But on the other hand...

I still have an obsession with health and wellness: I want more! I want to be strong and disease-free and live a good long life full of ridiculous adventures. While at the same time, I remain stubbornly slothful and hedonistic. So I want hacks and shortcuts! But not false promises and hype. How to sort it all out? For me, it's still a work in progress.

I also have thoughts on a whole lot of other subjects too, spinning around in my head relentlessy, like the wheel of the worlds fittest hamster. It seems I may need an outlet.

I know that should I decide to keep posting, I'll probably just be talking to myself. But that's ok! As I totter off into my Golden Years I figure I'll be doing more of that anyway. Better here than in line at Stop and Shop.

So for those brave enough to Read More, let's start with a brief update, and then move to possible plans for the future. Including a Cranky Conspiracy with a secret hidden agenda!