"Travel is Broadening"

I am not the first person to note that this cliche can be true both figuratively and literally. My mind, and waist-line, are expanding as we speak!

Gosh, I wonder what's up with my mysteriously shrinking jeans?

So we're about two thirds of the way through the Great House Swapping Adventure of 2012, and, as I feared, I still seem to have no ability to blog away from home.

There are some good reasons for this (internet access issues, having too much fun doing things) but also I've been struck by my usual travel-induced web paralysis. Strangely enough, this condition does not prevent me from surfing aimlessly or reading email. Yet I can't seem to get it together to respond to anything, or even find my Twitter and Facebook passwords. And as to blogging? Yikes, suddenly it's way too hard! Too much to say, but none of it seems to cohere into any sort of theme, let alone one related to health and fitness.

However, since many of you... er, several of you... um, well ok, two of you have said "at least post some pictures fer chrissakes you lazy crab" (not an exact quote), it seemed time to suck it up and throw some crap up here. Also, there's a guest post coming up and I wanted to at least pop in once before turning over the reins again.

So what follows are some highlights and lowlights of our adventures, complete with obligatory photos.

Because gosh, viewing other people's travel photos is as fascinating as hearing them describe their medical ailments! Or that funny dream they had last night with the Russian mafia and Lady GaGa and the stolen Mercedes that kept changing into a pink tricycle. So, um, enjoy!

Hate to Exercise? You Got Company.

(This is not actually Munchberry demonstrating the proper use of a treadmill--Photo by normanack)

Hi everyone, Crabby here!  But only for 2 paragraphs, which trust me, is a good thing. I'm still at the "hey, we're having an awesome time, wanna see 18,000 photos of us standing in front of a bunch of old European shit?" stage of our journey.  That plus a few miscellaneous observations about cross-cultural differences in public lavatories** is about all my tiny brain is up for.  So instead, how about a great guest post by the awesome Munchberry of I'm Just Puffy?

**In Berlin and vicinity, we discovered you have to pay to use the restroom everywhere, even if you are in a fancy shopping mall. And at the train station, a trip to the toilet costs $1.50! In Edinburgh, the WC's we've encountered have been free, but despite using thousands of gallons of water per flush, they are powerless against a couple of squares of toilet paper...OK, so now see why I'm psyched to have a great guest post?)

Hello Cranky Fitnessites!

Munchberry here at the helm today while The Boss is plowing through haggis and doing squats over the Blarney Stone. OK, not the Blarney Stone – unless she is really long-legged and ultra bendy (as she claims to be). [Crab note: Oh yeah, that's definitely me, long-legged & bendy... I also have abs of steel, massive guns, a bootylicious posterior, an IQ of 743, and some prime real estate on the moon you may be interested in purchasing.] And no, I guess I am not at the helm, but more broadcasting to you from the crustacean basement where they have me chained to their treadmill.

Why, you ask, am I chained to their treadmill? Because Cranky knows that the only way to get me to exercise is to lock me in the room with the equipment and force reconcilliation or at least detante. For I am the only person on earth that hates to exercise. What? You too? Pfft. The things I do in order to avoid exercising! OY.

Instead of exercise I will read my old organic chemistry book from 25 years ago. I will clean toilets and possibly even dog barf. I will clean my oven. I have been known to go down to my own home workout room that is filled with every manner of exercisy things, flip on a Jillian Michaels DVD and then LAY on the weight bench and twiddle my thumbs for 45 minutes while Jillian screams and I fake grunt (sounds very much like a fake orgasm but with less happy excitement). I then will spritz my face with the fern mister, toss water under my arms and trudge upstairs and LIE to my husband about how Jillian has it out for me. That is how I conducted myself for a while until my husband heard one too many fake gruntings, came down and caught me in the act. I was assuming my regular reclined position on the bench, plugged into my I-Pod and was singing away and grunting for a LONG while before I noticed him watching me with such a look of disgust that I had… HAD to change my ways.

So how do I manage to exercise without falling into a major depression?

Wordless Whatever-the-Hell-Day-it-Is

Giveaway Winner and... See Ya in a Bit!

Congrats, Solarity, you are the winner of the Wun Jo!

So we're heading off soon for our month-long adventure: a week or so in Germany to visit a friend and then 3 weeks doing a house swap in Edinburgh.

We are psyched!  There may be a post or two before I get back... but then again maybe there won't.

I'll be missing you all and looking forward to catching up when I return!

Anyone got any fun plans or horrible annoyances coming up in August? I'll look forward to hearing what transpires!

Photo: Christopher Chan

Let's Make a Deal!

No, there's no need to peek behind a curtain, as in that insufferable show.

This is a different kind of deal-making.

Have you got something you've been feeling guilty about, even if that guilt is unproductive and is not actually motivating you to accomplish anything?

If so, would you like to put that guilt aside for a little while?

Well relax, we gotcha covered!