Coping with Halloween: Tricks for Treats

Photo: Daveynin

It's a conspiracy, I tell you

Among the vast conspiracies & cabals that dominate our world (Who decides whether hemlines should be up or down? Who decided capri pants were fashionable? Who on earth thought up the idea of going to work on a Monday, anyway?), there's a small group concerned with deciding how many small scary costumed rugrats will show up at my door demanding candy.

I mean, some years I'm swamped, run out of chocolate early, and have to spend the rest of the night with the lights turned off, pretending that I'm not at home. Other years, I'll end up with 3 or 4 unopened packages of candy -- calling to me, tempting me, luring me to fall into evil ways. And somehow, I can never simply Throw Chocolate Away -- it's wasteful! Yes, I know eating the stuff is waist-ful, but I can't just throw it out.

The ideal would be to run out of candy with the very last child who shows up at my door. Probably there are people who pre-determine who the last child will be, even if that means they give 345 pieces of chocolate to a child and then spend the rest of the night hiding. (Hiding for Halloween! The latest adult coping strategy!)

Another problem with Halloween is that it encourages kids (and, um, adults) to eat 'bad' food. Used to be you could give a child an apple or something like that. Now it has to be something in a package. It makes me irked, irked I tell you!

I sometimes wish we could outlaw Halloween, but I'd miss all the cute outfits.

Dogzilla!

Healthy Halloween?

Does anyone have any 'healthy' treats that they give?

- iVillage put up a short list of healthy halloween candy, but that's all stuff that you make and put into baggies.

Not to sound paranoid, but if people are afraid of razor blades in apples, wouldn't they also be leery of any homemade treats? I hate to go to all the trouble of making something and then have it thrown out by an understandably cautious parent. (Actually, I'd hate to go to the trouble of making something, period. Queen of Laziness, moi.)

- WebMD tries to avoid the problem of adult-snacking by suggesting you go out and make healthy stuff for you to eat, so that you're not tempted by the chocolate lying around.

It's well-meant advice, but I gotta tell you -- if chocolate is calling, it tends to have a louder voice than cheese-and-olives-on-crackers (which is actually quite soft-spoken). And it would be nice to give children something that's not going to contribute to the rise in childhood obesity.

- Thriftyfun suggests little boxes of raisins or peanuts.

That might actually be the best bet. Some children (and adults) are allergic to peanuts, but if so I'm sure that they (or their parents) are into reading labels of the treats that they get. And dogs should not eat raisins, but really dogs shouldn't eat chocolate either, so if you're worried about Phydeaux you might want to encourage the children to eat the treats quickly. (Yeah, like they need the urging.)

- Reader's Digest adds pumpkin seeds to the list of healthy treats.

I kinda like this one, since pumpkins are associated with Halloween anyway. But I'm not sure how I'd feel about receiving pumpkin seeds if I were a child. Any children out there who can respond? Would you feel gypped?

- The American Dietetic Association suggests giving stickers.

Again, this sounds like something that might or might not be appealing to a child. (Sounds like fun, but is it a treat?)

The race is starting up again...

Halloween is the first hurdle in the race (or waddle) toward the holidays. I plan to get off to a good start this year, however I finish up. Raisins and peanuts and stuff like that. That way, if there are any leftovers, at least they're vaguely sorta kinda healthy leftovers.

Anyone else have any good ideas for healthy treats to give?




Whoops... how did that picture of Saddle Mountain get in here? Well, it is scary in a way. The scary part of this picture is ... that peak you see there? That's not the high point of the hike.

Halloween Candy? Bwa ha ha...

Halloween Candy. What do you think about it?

As usual, Crabby has many opinions and also, as is customary, her opinions are totally inconsistent and contradictory!

(And by the way, Katie at Sister Skinny had some very helpful ideas to keep you from pilfering and eating all the candy collected by your adorable costumed children, should you have any).

So. We eat a ridiculous amount of sugar in this country. And holidays, whether Halloween or Christmas or Valentines Day or Easter (or probably even Memorial day by now, who knows) have become just another excuse for an Assault of Candy Marketing. As a society, we're getting fat. We don't need another damned excuse to stuff our faces full of sugar.

On the other hand...

Crabby also came across a reminder about what's cool about Halloween. (Note: the post is a long and funny one and it's also about 900 other things, including a great list of phobias that only a Truly Creative Person could harbor). Anyway, this post got Crabby remembering how much she loved Halloween as a kid.

She loved the weirdness of watching everyone, including herself, dress up in strange outfits. (Although she was very strict about Halloween and felt everyone should be something scary. She looked scornfully upon firemen and astronauts and particularly ballerinas and princesses.)

Crabby also loved the way the neighbor's homes (okay, only a few energetic neighbors actually did this) would transform from ordinary suburban dwellings to Creepy Spider-Webby Haunted Houses where witches or skeletons could open the door and scare you!

And she can remember the sounds of...

Ah hell, who is she kidding. Crabby barely remembers all that stuff. What made Halloween so Incredibly Exciting she Could Just Burst was of course THE CANDY!!!

Halloween was all about THE CANDY! Getting it for free (no allowance necessary) and, at least in Crabby's house, getting to keep all of it and eat it whenever you wanted! (No lie. Crabby's mother wasn't nearly as strict as Katieo is. Though Crabby had more restraint as an eight year old than she does in middle age: she'd hoard her loot and make it last forever).

But candy's not good for you, so all that was probably very, very, wrong. Wasn't it?

In her web wanderings, Crabby also ventured over to the website of the Center for Science in the Public Interest where they posted some creative suggestions for celebrating Halloween without the traditional total candy overload.

And so Crabby took a look at these wholesome sensible suggestions and...

They made her very, very depressed.

Somewhere deep in Crabby's brain she feels that every kid should get to experience a Halloween that's totally stuffed stock full with candy. Not with pumpkin yogurt dip and orange slices and dried apricots.

But sugar in huge quantities is bad for kids!

Then Crabby finally worked out how she feels about this. Here goes:

Halloween is a Holiday! The candy we eat on holidays is part of what makes the holiday special. Halloween candy is not the problem.

The problem is: we're a culture of infants who think every f*cking day of the year is a holiday.

This is a nation of folks who eat sugary cereals or pop-tarts for breakfast; fatty hamburgers and french fries and milkshakes for lunch; ice cream or potato chips for a snack; and then pizza followed by apple pie for dinner. And any time one of these "meals" is late? We fill in with a candy bar.

(And by "we" Crabby means exactly the opposite. "We" doesn't refer to anyone who reads this blog and who buys only occasional treats. It's really "them," isn't it? Those other people out there who are buying all this junky crap that surrounds us in the grocery store and on TV and on billboards and reminds us constantly of all the tempting garbage we might secretly crave but try to resist. If "they" weren't buying all this fat and sugar and packing their SUV's full of it--then maybe we'd be besieged by ads for tofu and lentils and snap peas instead of Snickers bars and hamburgers, and we'd all be healthier and happier).

(Oh wait. Crabby just remembered she has a huge row of cupcakes on top of her blog. Um... Never mind.)

So anyway, part of why Halloween gluttony was so special in Crabby's youth was that access to candy was not as easy and constant as it is now. She wonders: can we please go back to a time when stuffing yourself full of fun sized Milky Way bars and Candy Corn and Sweet Tarts until you wanted to puke was a rare and special privilege?

What do you folks think about the whole Halloween candy issue? (Or feel free to rant about how the whole damn holiday has gone down the crapper--or explain why you think Halloween celebrations are actually more fun than ever now!)