What's In A Name?

Has your name ever made your life more difficult? This seems to be my year for it!

And, on what at first might not seem a related note (but stay tuned), my new book is out! Actually, it's only available for pre-order, if you're enough of a mad risk-taker to spring for a $4.99 ebook before the reviews are in. But it's only a short wait: fully available to read in ebook format, or as a $15.99 paperback on March 28. And if you have Kindle Unlmited it's free. 

More on this (much more, probably) once the book is officially launched and no one is rushing to buy it. But I thought I'd at least mention it now.

 

Check out the link here: Niccolo Would Like a Word on Amazon.

So why has my rather ordinary name caused me grief? And do I have crotchety observations about names in other contexts? Of course I do!

Oh joy! Endlessly Phoning Insurance Companies

This has been a confounding off-and-on battle the past couple of years, but I finally solved the mystery. Well, several mysteries:

Why was my insurance company denying all my claims, on the basis that I had co-insurance with another company, which I did not in fact have? (And how do you prove a negative? Said insurance company wouldn't let me talk to anyone straighten it out, because I couldn't access their system, because I did not actually have insurance with them).

Why were charges showing up on my Explanation of Benefits form for procedures I'd never had, at places I'd never been to? Even after I complained to said billing departments that they weren't my bills?

Well, turns out there's another Janice Graham who also lives in Massachusetts with my exact same date of birth. Not just same day and month, but same year. So my insurance problems followed me from private insurance to Medicare when we both signed up at the same time.

I happened to catch an address that showed up on some portal or another, so I copied it down and did some internet sleuthing. Found my namesake, called her up, and we had a nice chat! She'd been getting my bills too. We are in the process of trying to straighten it out, but insurance companies are not known for swiftly resolving their own errors.

Maybe years back I should have just legally changed my name to Crabby McSlacker? I can't imagine I'd be having the same problems. 

Um, No, I'm Not That Jan Graham 

This was fun: when you launch an Amazon book page, it generates a similar book page on Goodreads. Authors desperately crave visitors, and especially people kind enough to leave positive reviews to draw in new readers and boost their visibility. Goodreads is apparently powerful, so it's an important part of the marketing process.

So when I went to Goodreads, there was my book! Linked to author Jan Graham. Alas, not me. But she doesn't look entirely unlike me either.

As it happens, the other Jan Graham specializes in erotic BDSM fiction, and identifies as Submissive.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. Plus she probably sells way more books than I ever will.

But... would new potential readers, or even more chillingly, casual acquaintances or old friends I haven't seen in ages, or people I know only through the interwebs think "well gosh, this is an interesting side to Jan we didn't know about?"

It took a bit of doing but I have decoupled us, saving hordes of fans hungry for erotic BDSM fiction from  bitter disappointment when purchasing my novel. Murderous revenge plot? Check! Adult themes? Check. Bondage and spanking? Er, no. Sorry. 

Anyone Else Not Crazy About Their Name?

So I've never much liked my first name Janice

It's supposed to be pronounced the French way, like Jah-NEECE. My mother's family was from Louisiana and all spoke French. But since it's spelled Janice, it looks like it should be pronounced as JAN-iss. In any event, I've always gone by my nickname, Jan, except for a brief period of time when I had an online identity of Jamie, which I felt suited me better, but whatever. It's not impossible, but it's difficult to change your first name midlife, and I didn't have the determination to become a Jamie for real.

What's wrong with Jan/Janice? Well, nothing that dramatic. Just the strange feeling I get when I mispronounce my own legal first name as JAN-iss because it's easier for everyone that way. And the sense that my nickname adds about 10 years to my perceived age, because it was already well on the way out when I got it. It's not a classic, like Elizabeth or Katherine. Jan is the Ethel or Agnes of my generation. 

The fact that the whiniest Brady was named Jan is probably not gonna bode well for any comeback.

But Here's What Helped Me Get Over It 

I've met so many cool Jan's in the last couple of decades! I don't know where they were when I was younger. But there are plenty of them around now, and oddly enough, many are writers or fans of the written word.

And yeah, most of them are older than I am. But since they are not me, I can detach the name from the uncomfortable sense of me/not me, and the name suddenly becomes a simple ordinary syllable. Nothing inherently stodgy, just a sound. Not unlike John or Jim or Jane or Jay or June. Simple. Innocuous.

So Many People Have it Worse 

Moon Unit  and Dweezil Zappa are always the first ones to come to mind, but there are plenty of other shitty names parents give their kids. Sometimes without even realizing it! For example, the White Pages says there are at least fifteen hundred men named Michael Hunt in the U.S.  But I imagine most of them avoid being called Mike. As in, picture yourself introducing your new friend to your mother: Mom, meet Mike Hunt! Similarly, the many Harold Dicks out there probably hate it when anyone shortens their name to Harry.

Many people embrace their unusual names. It hasn't hurt the Zappas. And Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck went on to write about prejudice faced by Black students with unusual names in white classrooms.

And of course there's Randy Rainbow! What a convenient handle for a brilliant gay comedian/composer.

Have any of you had problems with your name? Or run into any unusual names?