January 30, 2013

Resolution Reflections: Can You Believe It?


So as we wrap up the January Resolution Support Group and Giveaway, you may be wondering:

Believe what?  Believe in the invincibility of San Francisco Bay Area sports teams?

Nah, the photo above was just a handy image to use--although as a Bay Area native, I've gotta say: Go 'Niners!

What I actually mean by "it" is:

Believe in Your Own Incredible Ability to Change Your Life for the Better.

And yeah, so why is a self-confessed cranky foul-mouthed skeptic getting all trite and sappy and urging you to believe in yourself?

I know, it's kinda creepy. And possibly annoying.  (On the other hand, readers of Cranky Fitness are renowned for their patience and ability to withstand even the most annoying of blog posts.)

But as I am slowly but surely rewiring my ornery pessimistic brain circuits, I'm discovering that perky hopeful neural connections seem to work a hell of a lot better than grumpy ones when it comes to getting shit done.  And I'm really appreciating the amazing impact that positive expectations can have. Or, if not always positive, at least open-minded and curious.  (Despite much progress, I still have a crapload of work yet to do myself).

One thing I have no doubt about?  The whole "things will suck and there's nothing I can do about it" mindset is Not Helpful At All. 

Do you sometimes have trouble really believing deep down that things will go well for you?  How do you rewire a skeptical brain to be more positive and hopeful?




(Smarty pants readers may recognize Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.
And btw, I am totally smitten with my new love, Better Book Titles.)

As it happens, one of many hopeful projects I'm working on right now is an ebook on just that subject. There are tons of brain hacks that even the most skeptical and pessimistic of self-help washouts can use to train their clever minds to achieve a lot more happiness. And you don't even have to abandon that cherished gift of skeptics and grumps everywhere: sarcasm!

But as the ebook may take awhile, let me at least share one idea that helped my own skeptical brain embrace the notion it could change itself and accomplish (relatively) ambitious goals:

Science Is On Your Side!

And I don't just mean a random recent study that says New Year's Resolutions are not nearly as doomed as we've all come to believe.

As modern research technologies have gotten more sophisticated about seeing how the brain works, the whole study of neuroplasticity has given us skeptics some reassurance that WE CAN CHANGE.  Personally, I love the notion that clever scientists can actually peer into our brains and observe the creation of new connections and structures as we beef up areas that need help (hello, ability to say no to 3rd helpings!) and shut down old dysfunctional cranky panicky defeatist wiring. A rewired brain actually looks and behaves differently! To have scientific corroboration of earnest truisms about "habits" and "willpower" and "mindfulness" and "positive thinking" is profoundly motivating, at least for me.

Bottom line: Practice thinking and behaving differently and eventually everything gets much easier because you are creating a New and Better Brain!

Now of course whenever I mention neuroplasticity and personal growth, I gotta thank Rick Hanson, the guy who got me started with all this rewiring stuff with his excellent book Buddha's Brain. (And who let me take his nifty online course The Enlightened Brain).  Is it a coincidence that I'm mentioning his name the same day he's kindly mentioned my silly exercise ebook in his newsletter?  Actually, yes, as I was already planning on it! But it does make for nice symmetry.

Oh, and if you'd like some Free Rick Hanson, check out his Compassionate Brain series of interviews with all kinds of great experts.  You can even cheat and watch his excellent wrap-up first to figure out who you're most interested in hearing first.  Guests include: Richie Davidson, Dan Siegel, Tara Brach, Dacher Keltner, Kelly McGonigal, Kristin Neff, and Jean Houston. (My faves were Kelly McGonigal and Kristin Neff). The series will be available for 6 months in the archives. "So far over 33,000 people have seen these free videos, which explore how to use the power of neuroplasticity—the mind changing the brain to transform the mind—to open the heart, build courage, find compassion, forgive oneself and others, and heal the world."

Curious? Check out the Compassionate Brain Preview Clips on Youtube.

Another, Better Post About Being More Positive:
I just discovered Charlotte wrote a great post yesterday about choosing happiness with a whole list of great tips; if you haven't seen it yet, check it out!

And Many Thanks to My "Support Group!"

This experiment in Virtual Support has been incredibly fun for me! So many great goals, honest check-ins, funny stories, great advice, and commiseration.  The best thing? It totally helped me Rock My Goal so far.  I am certain that on my own I would not have been nearly as diligent.  My non-support group goals have have had WAY more ups and downs.  More prattling on about that, as usual, in the comments.

Because I had so much fun, I'm hoping some of you will stick around and hang out in the comment section even after the giveaway part is over. I'm thinking perhaps a monthly goal check in if anyone is up for it? And note: if the Google Gods know who you are through a blog id or by being logged in with a gmail account or however they do it, I believe you can subscribe to an individual post's comment thread to see follow up comments by using the "subscribe by email" thing at the bottom.  Often I reply to your comments (though not always on giveaways or older posts) and others may reply to you as well.  Wish it worked for everyone, dang it!


And What About the Damn Giveaway?

For anyone new, this is a giveaway for a package of 4 sessions of Life and/or Wellness Coaching.  If you've just joined us you can still play; start with the resolution support post and then go to the next find the joy in your resolution post and then the resolution FAIL post and finally the Do Less post. (And yes, actually, I can hear you saying "seriously, are you f--king nuts?") But it's only fair to at least offer the opportunity.

Because in addition to the winner's free package, everyone else who has participated all along or made a sincere effort to "catch up" with additional observations and comments is eligible for a 50% discount off regular life coaching rates, rather than the usual 25% Cranky Fitness special.

As anyone who has read these comments is probably aware, picking a winner is gonna be hard.  You are all awesome and I want to coach you all for free!  Yet, I'd also like to pay my exorbitant grocery bills.  I plan on letting a few days go by for this post's comments to trickle in, and then choose a small select subgroup of 3 or 4 extra special favorites... and then do a random draw from there. Winner announced Monday Feb 4th.

Whew, what a long post full of random logistical stuff!  I bet right now you're feeling... sheesh what's the word I'm looking for...



Impatient! That's it! You're probably impatient to get down to the comments and let us know how you're doing on your goals, and to give some support to someone else!

How'd it go this week?  And do you ever have trouble believing you can actually change?

Photos:
Believe: keokiseu
Frankl: better book titles
Bored: Luke Montague

91 comments:

  1. OK, so they daily hypnosis audio routine continues! I'm making excellent progress on my ability to relax. I'm still not too great at doing it entirely on my own, but I try to practice that a bit as well as listen to the audios.

    The "reducing insomnia" aspect was not as great this week, but still better than before. Since I just read hypnosis can help with hot flashes, this may be an additional plan of attack.

    And the allergies seem to be improving! I can never be sure if its atmospheric or whatever, but will try to believe it's the hypnosis.

    But again, this stuff is only helping because I'm setting aside time to do it... which I wasn't before you guys helped me be accountable. So thanks again!

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    1. And this is me NOT deleting and redoing the entire comment because of the typo in the first line. Sigh.

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    2. I'm impressed that you're not changing the typo...that is absolutely something that I would do. Drives me crazy to have done it, and equally drives me crazy that I can't let it go. KUDOS.

      Do you do the hypnosis audio at the same time every day?

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    3. Good on you for sticking with it. I know it'll get better/easier/ and moar funner.

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    4. This is how bad I am....it took me four times of reading that first line to catch your typo.

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    5. Ha - I would have never caught the typo if you hadn't pointed it out!!
      Way to hold fast!

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    6. Oh, and Shelley, it's been mostly afternoon; I use the sessions as sort of a nice "coffee break".

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    7. You know, at first I was going to ask you if you listened to the tapes while you drove, but then I realized that might not be the best place...

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    8. +1 for "wouldn't have noticed the typo if you hadn't pointed it out"! There's a lesson in that, somewhere.

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    9. being german i STILL dont get the typo! wtf!!!!

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    10. Hint for furchtloserbach: look at the third word.

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  2. This post blew me away (at least my brain!!)!! So many interesting facts - I have to say neuroplasticity was new to me! Definitely some good stuff to check out. I do like the idea that we can change our mindsets - permanently!!

    I have enjoyed this goal/resolution group a lot! Fun way to try and create whatever change we are looking for!!

    For me, I have been trying to live in the moment and really enjoy all parts of my life - not just the really fun ones. I think that overall I'm getting there! Snowy days (like today) make it a little harder for me but I'm still trying to enjoy each part of this day - even driving with other idiots!!!

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    1. That's awesome Kim!

      If living in the moment were easy there would not be so many bazillion of us who struggle with it. The fact that you're already seeing progress is awesome! And this is exactly the sort of brain change that you can build on and build on until it gets easier. I forget the names of the parts of the brain involved, but with all the meditation research out there, it's definitely been shown that repeated attempts to shift your focus of attention to the present make for awesome brains.

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    2. I, too, hate driving with idiots in snow. Just remember how much money people pay to do things like swim with sharks. We get to do this for only the cost of gas! (although I relish only having to drive to work two days a week, and being able to walk the other days.)

      Good for you on the living in the moment; it's so hard not to go "and Next? and next?"

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

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  3. Well, I need to thank Rick Hanson too. I receive his newsletter and he had a link to your ebook today which lead me here. I love what I am reading and am feverishly trying to catch up on all of the fantastic posts re: resolutions and the awesome comments to each!

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    1. Wow, welcome Theresa! Isn't Rick da bomb?

      It's so sweet of you to say such kind things and it's great to have you here. Really looking forward to hearing what you're up to!

      And warning: it's WEIRD here. :)

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    2. Rick is amazing. My sister gave me his book Just One Thing and it is now one of my top favorite books. I keep giving it away and buying myself another copy. I just want everyone to read it! Just like I want everyone to 'discover' Cranky Fitness! I sent your link to my sister and 3 other friends yesterday. Apparently I really like WEIRD and want to everyone to join in! ;)

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    3. Hey Theresa thank you SO MUCH!!! Welcome to weird!

      So yeah, I too am a huge Rick Hanson fan, love the way he combines science with the woo-woo and he's so freakin' smart, yet comes across with all this warmth and an appealing "I still have to work on this stuff too" perspective. SOMEDAY I gotta do an in-person class or workshop, though doing his video course and online lectures kinda feels like we're hangin' out. :)

      Oh, and sorry about comment moderation being on, will scoot back to older posts too, hopefully later today! Busy day.. And thanks again for mentioning Cranky Fitness! I gotta rely on word of mouth and google to try get the word out 'cause I SUCK at marketing.

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  4. As a Bay Area native (crap, I really can't claim that since I was born in Hawaii...but hey, from 1 year old I was), I'm very happy for the teams that have done so well! I Believe! Sorry, just had to get that out of the way. Go Niners! OK, I'm really done now. :)

    Um, what was the question? BTW, I literally LOL'd at your "BORED" picture at the end of the post. You truly make me laugh, Crabby.

    So yes, after seeing old pictures, I do believe I can change. I think the most important thing to realize is that change does not happen overnight (usually - I mean I guess if you moved to a different part of the country, then yes, change WOULD happen overnight). Change takes persistence. For example, I am changing my exercise routine by adding in riding the exercise bike twice a week. Have I been persistent with it? Yes. But I haven't done it today - yet - which shows me that it's not an automatic thing. I am dressed for it, and when I finish this tome of a comment I'll go ride the bike. I wish I would not *think* about it, though...just go get it done, you know? Anyway, I've done a month's worth of planks, which was an additional challenge, and my abs are thanking me. Overall, I give myself two thumb's up for January!

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    1. I can see why you might believe in change Shelley with the great lifestyle transformations you've made!

      And wow, I gotta say I'm impressed with both the exercise biking and the the planks, two activities I find particularly gruesome myself. Add my two upturned crab claws to your thumbs-up for January!.

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    2. Awesome job sticking with both the planking and your exercise bike!!!

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    3. why is it that my so called planks dont ever give me a sore tummy????
      clueless in berlin

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    4. Shelley - I'm glad you did so well and I think you deserve to be Queen of the Planks - which is better than being queen of the plankton! You inspired me to add some planks into my haphazard exercise routines going forward!

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  5. I have been interested in neuroscience and the brain stuff for years...YES I am a science nerd at heart. The best way it was ever explained to me...You know when you drive through a meadow in an old Ford truck. The grass lies down but eventually pops back up. Every time you go back to the meadow, whether it is once a day, once a week, once a month, you repeat driving along the same path. Eventually, it will cause ruts in the middle and you have an old fashioned dirt road. That is how our brain works.
    Anyway...yes we can change but it isn't the simple matter of repeating the things we want. We have to use our core values to fuel the old Ford truck! That is what puts the action behind the thought. Our core values often get overgrown by all the weeds. I am taking an old online Psych course on the Psychology, Biology and Politics of Food and it takes all the emotion out of the changes for me.
    As for my improvements a month into this...WOW! Thank you for this whole series!

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    1. Love the truck rut analogy Jules!

      And yeah, good point, values and the whole notion of being aligned with them is HUGE for motivation.

      And that's great to hear you've been doing so well this month!!

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    2. I may have to borrow that analogy... I'll need to change the vehicle though; Ford "trucks" are about as common as Space Shuttles on UK roads!

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    3. you put that really nicely! this image will stick!
      puja

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  6. GO 9ers!!! (former San Jose resident here)

    There's a give-a-way? Where? (hehehe)

    Yes I have trouble believing I will change...have changed....will stay changed? I have said to my co-teacher of the wt loss support group, many times, "Wait till THREE years have gone by before calling me successful in this weight loss thing." For some reason I don't believe the weight will stay off unless I make it three years without gaining it back. BTW, I have nine months to go.

    BTW2: I am not in the official 'running' for the prize. I just like stalking you. :D

    BTW3: I often miss that you have replied to my comments to your postings too. I've never seen a way to be aware of replies or comments made in reference to mine. I truly am not trying to be rude! I am a nice girl. I really am. No, really! :D

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    1. I know you're a really nice gal Sherri, it's very obvious from your comments and your blog. And you're not alone in not knowing about the reply comments here. It's probably dumb of me to take the time but I like the delusion of a conversation even if it's me just yapping to empty air. :)

      And interesting about the Three Year mark... sure sounds like you're well on the way. But if you want to sneak in an occasional self-congratulatory "way to go" on all you've accomplished before then, I won't tell a soul.

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    2. Shhhhh CRABBY!!!! You'll ruin my rep girl! (whispering-thanks for accidentally letting me find you...you've re-inspired me a couple o times)

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    3. (whispered thanks back Sherri for your commenting awesomeness!)

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  7. Progress is being made in my upstairs. Shelves and concrete blocks are slowly progressing up from the basement to the second floor. I would not have gotten as far as I have without the encouraging knowledge at the back of my mind that you are all here plugging away at whatever you're working on. Cheers to all.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

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    1. Hooray, Mary Anne! It really has been inspiring to see you keep at it week after week, even with your long days. And your support of all of us has been really motivating, thank you!!!

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    2. Awesome! Crabby's right--unpacking after being at work all day is so not appealing, and you rock for getting it done. My project for this weekend is to finally (almost three months post-move) get my share of the office/hobby room unpacked. I have to keep psyching myself up to do it, but it'll be really nice to have it done.

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    3. Go, fellow unpacker!

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

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  8. Push Up Wanna Be here (btw - this is not my 'nom de plume' for all purposes; just my identity for this series of posts)....

    The result? Inconclusive at best.

    I would have to have someone else determine whether or not I have come sufficiently close to the ground to have done an actual, real push up or not. (Special shout out to Trabb's Boy: I keep looking for bigger fish :) )

    In lieu of the bigger fish, though, I've tried stacking a few books - but, then have to deal with the question about how many are enough v. too many?

    Well, you can see where this is going.... If I have to ask, the answer is pretty apparent: VERY close - but no brass ring. YET.
    But, hope springs eternal :)

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    1. Your post made me think about my Yoga class today. For the first time in over a year and a half of classes, I was able to touch fingertips behind my back today. (One arm over the top and the other from underneath, meeting near the upper center of the back)

      This doesn't seem like much but I bet you could have seen the expression on my face when I realized I was touching my own fingertips! You'll get your push up validation too. I am sure of it!

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    2. Way to go Sherri on the fingertips!

      And WannaBe, so it sounds like you've made a little progress? That's GREAT! I suspect pushups are not the only thing on your plate right now ;) And if you've been working and getting closer, that's the important part. Keep at it and you'll get there!

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    3. Sherri, I can't even get close to doing that - you must be super limber with all that yoga! Very nice!

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    4. I can do the fingertip thing easily one way (right arm over the top), but can't get within a foot the other way!

      I wonder how many people read your comment and immediately tried to see if they could do it... #8-D

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    5. I'm exactly like Shadowduck and don't even wanna contemplate the biomechanical implications because I'm not planning to do anything about it. But way to go to the flexible folks!

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    6. You are all too kind. I am not some bendy straw type person either. That is why I was so shocked...I literally thought that someone else was touching me from behind! loll

      Yoga has helped me a lot and I was just asked this morning to help an instructor reach out to the more 'fluffy' Yoga wannabes. Some folks don't realize how much a bigger belly can get in the way of some Yoga moves!

      Sorry...I am rattling on again. Btw WannaBe, I cannot do a pushup to save my soul unless I am on my knees. I still think you will be able to do it. :)

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    7. i told you i was also trying pushups... so far i moved from the bathtub-version to girlie-pushups. it made me kinda proud and i had fantasies of myself in uniform ( giggle) still.. no real pushup so far and very sore ellbows! im giving it some more time... always great to read where youre at now!
      puja

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  9. Crabby, this was such a great idea having everyone support each other with their individual goals. I even managed to make it inside a gym! I KNOW! Me too! I have plans to go back tomorrow too. This might even become a habit.

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    1. Reb that's FANTASTIC!!!!! I'm so psyched to hear that, and hope it goes well and you get hooked.

      I trust you know not to try to do TOO much too fast, and hope you can keep it fun and keep it up. Way to go!

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    2. Gyms are so warm and cozy and inviting at this cold time of year. I'm going to squeeze in the time to visit mine this afternoon. :)

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

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    3. Way to go Mary Anne! And hope it works out for you Reb!

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  10. How'd it go this week? And do you ever have trouble believing you can actually change?

    For some reason it has been a tough week. I honestly chalk this up to friggin menopause hormones changing again - man does it ever end! ;)

    I have & sometimes still have trouble believing I can change.. I guess with so many NO's around & trying a few different things BUT I always do keep trying! :)

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    1. Aw, sorry Jody to hear it's been a tough one. Sometimes that just happens and all you can do is hang in there.

      Hope it goes much better this next week. And it's so cool that you always do keep trying, that's all any of us can do! From the outside, it kinda looks like you can do ANYTHING!

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    2. Hey Jody, most of the icky menopause stuff really started slacking off for me around 55-56 years. It was almost like a switch turned it off. It WILL get better, but I remember the process all too well. ick, blah, dangitdangitsunofa....well, you know. Hugs and hang in there...and trust me, it is worth the wait! Life is pretty dang good on this side of "the change" (insert twilight music here) Oh and I don't mean the vampire werewolf music.

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    3. OK, good to hear Sherri! Hope it's universal 'cause I'm smack in the middle of it too. Can't wait to hear the twilight music!

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    4. Gosh, yes, that started for me 2 years ago and it has actually been a bit of a push for me to get my backside of the couch.

      Yeah sometimes I have trouble believing that change is possible, most times that is because I expect massive drama tadaaaaaaaa change is here. Change is usually a heap of baby steps that form a wave right?

      Just find a few tiny yesses, they are typically there, even if it is just I got up this morning.

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    5. Love that Bianca: "just find a few tiny yesses" and build. They often ARE there and we just don't give ourselves credit for them.

      And I suspect that for you those yesses are going to add up to a really big "tadaaaaa" one of these days, you sound ready to take things up a notch!

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  11. Well, I can honestly say that I've hardly been online at all this week, but that was as a result of my darling wifey being called into hospital for an urgent operation (she's fine) so I can hardly claim it as a "result". Looking at the bigger picture though; when a loved one has a medical scare (or some similar major event occurs) it does a marvellous job of putting things in perspective... Suddenly spending a bit too much time online, drinking too much coffee, chickening out of that half marathon last year (and so on) seem like such petty little things to be concerned about. Or to put it another way, the periods in my life where those are my biggest worries are GOOD TIMES!

    Anyway, to answer the question in the post: I'd venture to say that everyone reading this post believes, deep down, that change is possible. Even if it seems unlikely, extremely difficult, or even ALMOST impossible... If we really believed it was hopeless, why would we be here at all?

    On the comments thing, I can't use my Blogger ID to log in here as it'd appear that I was posting on behalf of my martial arts club. A lot of sites have a separate RSS feed for comments - any chance of setting something like that up?

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    1. ShadowDuck, you've seen that change is possible, and i hope that your wife fully recovers.

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    2. I'm glad your wife is fine!

      Good perspective on that. When I'm fretting over fiddly things like race times, how will I have time to go see that play, do yoga, AND have some time at home to unwind, I should just laugh at myself. Such problems!

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    3. Wow Shadowduck, so sorry to hear about the medical stuff. How scary! Sending warm fuzzy wishes for complete and speedy and painless recovery.

      And yeah, the perspective thing is huge! As well as Messimimi's point, that you actually did fine without the internet. Though it took something huge to shake it up, seems like it's a great notion to build on when considering how some of your non-internet interests are really important and deserving of your time too, even if they aren't emergencies.

      And good idea about the comment RSS, I gotta look into it!

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  12. Neuroscience aside, I just needed someone to tell me to Cheer the Fuck Up today, so thanks for that. Aside from today's bad news (worse than my tax refund will be less than expected and better than someone dying), I think I am finally over the series of colds, bronchitis, and other crap that I've had on and off (far more on) since October. Using last week's theme of doing less, I decided that obviously I was not doing things right, so I backed off my half marathon training for a week. Well, almost a week. It was 60 here the day before yesterday, which beat a 99 year record high for the day, so how could I not run? Anyway, I'm back on target and I think it was smart rest.

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    1. Hundred year record here. I could easily not run, of course, because I never do, but I really enjoyed not having to deal with frozen hoses. Back to the ice today. And yes, backing off can be good.

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

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    2. There are days when you just have to stop; the key is listening and figuring out which are those times, and which are your inner slug just wanting an excuse.

      You listened, and it was the right thing.

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    3. The first time through, I read "...not having to deal with frozen horses." That was a strange mental image.

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    4. Dani, so sorry about the bad news (and what a great way of describing it's magnitude). Hope you're feeling better about it or finding ways to cope with it.

      Must have been SO hard to take a break from training when you were feeling so motivated, but that whole "listen to your body" thing seems really an awesome skill to acquire for any sort of serious fitness goals. I'm so glad you're feeling physically better, yay! Wonder if the rest helped?

      And Shadowduck, sometime it's a little freaky the way your comments come from my brain. Only this time, I had to read yours to catch that Mary Anne did NOT say "horses." Knowing she works with animals I thought perhaps that might include equines and was hoping it was just a bit of poetic license. Glad to discover there were no actual horsesickles involved!

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  13. While i haven't made as much progress as i wanted, i have made progress. Wanting to check in here and not have to say i didn't do anything made me stick with it, so if you keep going with a once-a-month check in, it will help me.

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    1. Yay, progress!

      And thinking about the upcoming check-ins also helped me, so I will "cosign" the idea of a once-a-month check-in.

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    2. Oh good, so glad you made progress messymimi, THAT's the important part!

      And that's great Rachel if you're in on it too. I'm thinking for my own benefit I want to do it, so if it's just a small group of us that's cool too.

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  14. I have continued to meditate every day since the beginning of the year. I am AWESOME!

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    1. Echoing the AWESOMENESS of a whole solid month!!!!!! Way to go Kimberley!

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    2. You are totally and completely filled with AWESOME!!!

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    3. Wondrous awesomeness indeed!

      Mary Anne in Kentucky

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    4. I am blushing! Thanks for the love!

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  15. Funny, this week in my WW meetings we've been talking about believing we can do it. Since I am mostly in the crabby/cranky/cynic frame of mind, the fact that I believe in the power of positive thinking is kind of funny. But I realize once I stop saying I can't, things really do change.

    For me personally, knowing that I've made habit changes in the past helps me assume that I will be able to do it again in the future. Knowing that SPECIFICALLY ME has done it is very empowering.

    Having said that, my past week has been a jumble. I've kept up very well with my 8 week tracking challenge, so I have that going for me. But Sunday was my marathon (It went great!) and I have been recovering my muscles, which is to be expected. But I have also been dealing with an infected toenail (don't ask) and so have hardly been able to move at all, not being able to put much weight on my right foot! I am trying to achieve balance (my word for the year) in not beating myself up over not doing any physical activity, but also trying to figure out what I CAN do. I could easily be doing strength training and probably some pilates...but I have not.

    Wow, that was a really rollercoaster comment. Which I guess is a good description of the last week!

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    1. I just LOVE what you said about "once I stop saying I can't, things really do change." And I do the same thing myself about reminding myself of other habit changes that seemed unlikely at best. (Until well into my 30's, I thought I simply COULD NOT eat certain meals without a Coke alongside it--the full sugar kind. Now it's been 2 years and it doesn't occur to me).

      And yeah, those times when something upsets your normal routine and you just don't have it in you to go with alternatives? I think that happens to everyone; I classify those as High Degree of Difficult/Extra Credit scenarios. If you do go for it, great, but if not, no worries. If it turns into a new reality, then that's the time to start figuring out how to deal with it, but if not, it's good you're not planning on beating yourself up! Hope the toenail is better soon!

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  16. As someone who has experienced the power of fake it till you make it in his life, I can definitely say, I BELIEVE!!

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    1. And I totally believe you believe Dr. J!!!!!!!

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    2. thats something i also love a lot. faking a smile sometimes even makes me happy or empathic.... go figure...

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    3. Fake it 'til you make it has done well for me in life. I love it!

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  17. Hee. I have no idea if change is possible for me! Or even what change would mean. (When success is doubtful, redefine "success.")

    It's been an interesting experiment, semi-open tracking my eating. It has been helpful in some ways, for sure. In other ways -- well, let's say the last couple of weeks have not been inspiring reading, and I am counting on the odds of no one having read them.

    So ... time to evaluate what the differences were from the beginning of the month to the end (different work demands, novelty wore off), what worked when it worked, what pitfalls could be averted in the future.

    Or, just say heck with it. Get your chuckles where you can, MFP friends.

    Heh. Okay, maybe not the last one.

    But I'm going to keep with the status quo for a year, just to avoid too much energy spent in "should I stop? maybe a different tracking program?" and spining my wheels.

    Thanks for the space, Crabby. Like I said upthread, I think a once-a-month check-in would be great. I've enjoyed both posting and reading others' posts.

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    1. Hey, it's so great that you're experimenting, strategizing, tweaking, figuring out what works and what doesn't! I know I repeat myself, but I do think that a focus on PROCESS can yield better results long term than actually focusing on any individual outcome.

      Building on the stuff that works and avoiding pitfalls you've discovered is a totally excellent idea going forward, can't wait to hear more in coming months.

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  18. i really was convinced i messed up! then i realised i had lost a bit of weight, saw that i gained muscle and felt great. so reading this post was a reminder for me. i just love the book-cover and found out my aggression-issue because i wanted to slap certain people in the mouth with it! ( um... sorry!)
    rick hanson is a great guy! i read his blogs weekly and the combination of spiritual practise and neuroscince is always mindblowing ( literally!)
    lets keep on doing this commenting thing. looks like it is not only fun but also works! im in!
    puja

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    1. So funny that you thought you'd messed up Puja! And congrats on your hard work paying off. I'm really thrilled you're going to join the monthly group too, love all your comments and I think it's going to be fun.

      And bonus: it makes Cranky Fitness look more cosmopolitan and hip to add more international flavor--we don't get nearly enough German or other non-English speaking Europeans due to our lack of translation monkeys. (Some day will have to steal some from Shadowduck but in the meantime, it's great that your English language skills are so good).

      And I love that there is yet another Rick Hanson fan in da house!

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  19. I love the idea of this thread and I also follow that "fake it till you make it" idea. I do customer service work mostly on the phone and we have been told smile when you talk to people, it comes across in your voice. Funny thing is it changes your attitude as well! I am going to read Ricks stuff as well.As far as my goal, I have felt like I have made progress with my goal of making peace with myself, just because by coming here every week, I have been more aware of what I was doing, why I was doing it and how it effected on me. So if nothing else, this whole thing has given me an awareness that I didn't have before. Thanks to everyone for that and for the support. I would love a monthly check -in as well!

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    1. That's fascinating about the smiling when talking on the phone Spaz! And yeah, Rick's stuff is great. I started with Buddha's brain and found it fascinating.

      And so glad you're making progress on the making peace with yourself thing. It's a tough one but SO worth it getting to be more and more "on your own side." And it all starts with awareness!

      It will be great to have you aboard for a monthly check in. I'm thinking even if the post only runs once a month, we can keep on using the comment thread to that post to report progress or obstacles or whatever. You all helped me so much!

      Oops, and speaking of which, it's time for my hypnosis session...

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  20. This is another super-timely post for me. This has been a week full of minor (in the grand scheme of things) annoyances that piled up, making me a big ball of grump. My inner monologue did end up giving me an attitude adjustment, though.

    With regard to the resolution wrap-up, I think it went pretty well. I've managed to rewire my body/taste buds in favor of non-refined food, and I'm happy about that. I started the month tracking and counting calories, but I think I'm going to work hard at intuitive eating next month. I'd love to keep checking in with the support group if you decide to keep it going. :)

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    1. A "big ball of grump!" Too funny, I know exactly what that feels like and sometimes it's SO hard to talk oneself out of it.

      So how doofy is this? If logic won't work against the grumps, sometimes I resort to imaginary cathartic temper tantrums. I slam things around and break them, scream, throw paint on walls, kick things and jump up and down and wreak all kinds of havoc until I start to laugh at myself and get at least a slight sense of "release." Other times I just surf it and know it will slink away on its own if I ignore it.

      That is so cool that you were able to rewire your taste buds and cravings and are ready to move beyond tracking, that's huge!! So glad you're planning to join us, I'm really looking forward to this.

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    2. Not doofy at all! My latest one involved me going all Office Space on the TV at the gym that gave me horrible weather updates every ten minutes whether I wanted them or not.

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    3. Love it, especially as TV at the gym is one of my pet peeves!

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  21. I have decided I am going to have a t-shirt printed with the following words of wisdom from your post...Cheer the F*** Up! :)Love it. And it kind of does come down to that - choose happiness.
    Gaye

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    1. Maybe it's the 13 year old in me Gaye, but I thought that book cover was HILARIOUS, especially since I remember reading the book in college and that kinda sums it up perfectly.

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  22. Self doubt will always creep up. Even the most strong willed and self confident people have points where they think of quitting. It happens.

    For me, what helps is thinking of life as a cricket game (or baseball for my friends across the pond). One day, I might be on a roll and smash the ball around. I might experience a great run of form. Eventually, I'll get bowled out. But I have unlimited chances to bat again (well, until I die that is).

    If you strike out or if you get bowled out, you can always get up to bat again. Today I'm batting and I'm doing good so far. I did great yesterday. The innings ain't over for today so I'll keep batting and hopefully do better.

    I suppose, even if you don't believe, you can still grab the bat and swing. Hey, you might hit a home run... you might luck up on a rich vein of form and have some of your best days, weeks, months and hopefully, your best years ever.

    It all starts with walking to the pitch and swinging.

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