Comments on Cranky Fitness: Why Can't You Stick to Your Plan?

Thanks so much for the cool comments everyone!Heat...

2008-05-20T06:53:00.000-04:00

Thanks so much for the cool comments everyone!

Heather, we get pretty silly at this blog, so it's great to here sometimes the posts are actually helpful. Good luck getting back on track--it's totally worth it to keep trying.

I have thought about this post all week; I'm almos...

2008-05-20T03:29:00.000-04:00

I have thought about this post all week; I'm almost 6 months pregnant and so, so often, I've felt entitled to cake, etc. just because I "supposed" to be able to eat whatever I want. This has led to a 30 lb. weight gain already, btw. So thanks. This post, and the one from last fall about Black-White thinking are truly the keys to getting my head in the right place. Post-baby, I've got a plan to finally, finally, finally reach my goals, come hell or highwater. My little girl is not going to grow up with me fighting my weight and being afraid of reaching my goals.

So thanks. You do good work!

Genius post. Genius. All four variants are sprin...

2008-05-17T03:21:00.000-04:00

Genius post. Genius.
All four variants are sprinkled throughout my life and family.

(One of my favorite sports is to fight the voices down in my own head and then hear another family member pipe up "deserving" dessert (which is frequently cake, rarely fruit). Oh, well. Fighting demons burns calories.)

Also? Bunnygirl is made of win.

Also? Jen, I figure I am entitled - heh - to the cheese of the goat as long as it is accompanied by the leaves of the arugula or endive, and not the cracker of the Ritz (or the Wheat Thin of the Stones, for that matter). YMMV.

What a great post! And I feel entitled to that opi...

2008-05-08T11:52:00.000-04:00

What a great post! And I feel entitled to that opinion. But I suspect that is good and righteous entitlement.

Not so good? When I feel entitled to days off, which turns into week(s) off. Also, I too often feel entitled to cheese of the goat.

The advice here is really helpful -- everyone else IS a space alien, their behavior is not normal. (Repeat as needed.)

So I've been a little -ahem- slacky in commenting....

2008-05-07T19:16:00.000-04:00

So I've been a little -ahem- slacky in commenting.
But as soon as I saw this I knew I needed to come back and have the time to digest it. I totally deserve it, right?

I don't really have anything to add. Just a classic crab post with a dash of great comments.

(ps. My boys love that picture. "Are those real kids...on another planet?")

Love it, Crabby, and wrote about it on my blog tod...

2008-05-07T14:48:00.000-04:00

Love it, Crabby, and wrote about it on my blog today.

I don't have any advice, except that if I get too ...

2008-05-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

I don't have any advice, except that if I get too much into the "If I do this now, I'll get to do this later" and getting extra credit, I get way too into it and I start getting obsessive about it.

I'll tell you though, I'll probably be laughing about the space aliens part all day. And this is definitely a bookmark-and-into-my-paper-and-ink-journal post.

Thanks folks! Some really thoughtful comments here...

2008-05-07T07:51:00.000-04:00

Thanks folks! Some really thoughtful comments here. I did sort of suspect I might not be the only one who had issues with this... Some great examples here and helpful new ideas for dealing with it!

Thanks, Alice, i LOVE when people link.

And welcome to the new visitors! Thanks you SO much for stopping by and saying hi!

Good article and good food for thought. I think th...

2008-05-07T05:04:00.000-04:00

Good article and good food for thought. I think this entitlement thing is just going to be a lifelong battle for many of us. It's all about reprogramming isn't it. Understanding what is off center about the programming we are somehow stuck with is useful though and you expressed some stuff that was only floating around in my head formlessly until now.

Damn!! Marie's waffle with apples, caramel sauce ...

2008-05-07T02:56:00.000-04:00

Damn!! Marie's waffle with apples, caramel sauce and whipped cream made me dribble into my keyboard!

personally, ive always been very tough on myself, ...

2008-05-06T20:40:00.000-04:00

personally, ive always been very tough on myself, never really looking at how great my accomplishments were, but what's next.

i know you can't quite buy that feeling, but set your goals high (not too high to accomplish) and continuously update them so you still have things to work for!

Oooh, yes. I especially struggle with the "my par...

2008-05-06T18:48:00.000-04:00

Oooh, yes. I especially struggle with the "my partner does XYZ, then I should too"

With the cake I eat but didn't want, I try to promise myself a postponed treat. As in, rather than have this cake (which i DESERVE, damn it) I'm gonna take a wildcard to be cashed in when I do want a treat. The good thing about this is that I usually forget about it anyway (weren't we talking about memory recently? I forget..) and end up better off in the end.

i have to say my main problem is entitlement. i t...

2008-05-06T18:16:00.000-04:00

i have to say my main problem is entitlement. i tend to think i am a fat girl only...deserving to always be one since i spent a good 21 years being one. so, every time i come close to being a skinny girl i either sabbotage myself OR wonder how long it can last. i know! i gotta fight this inner battle first. i'm workin on it.

and to be honest, i DO soooo love baked goods. primarily cookies. boo.

That's great, Crabby! I am thinking about writing ...

2008-05-06T17:33:00.000-04:00

That's great, Crabby! I am thinking about writing on the self-efficacy thing also. I never heard the term before two days ago! So I say to a total stranger at the fitness center, have you heard of self-efficacy? Well, yeah!! He not only was a psychologist, quoted Maslow's hierarchy to me, but went on to tell me he was descended from B.F.Skinner! HaHa! True story!!

Dr. J

I think I found a new blog to read; that was a gre...

2008-05-06T16:27:00.000-04:00

I think I found a new blog to read; that was a great post and yes, I'm guilty to "all of the above." I'll have to print out your ideas, because it's a daily battle. I have everything I need to start a workout routine and none of the motivation.

Good post Crabby, something I have lots of trouble...

2008-05-06T14:47:00.000-04:00

Good post Crabby, something I have lots of trouble with. Sorry I have no advise to avoid it or cope with it. When you live alone, it is easy to avoid doing the dishes or going grocery shopping. The grocery part is the worst, because then you wind up eating carbs because all you have left in the house is rice & pasta.

"But by the time dessert is served, you're totally...

2008-05-06T13:56:00.001-04:00

"But by the time dessert is served, you're totally full. Plus the cake is a kind you don't even really like."
Full before dessert? Cake you don't like? Space aliens. Definitely space aliens.

Mary Anne in Kentucky

I've been lurking for awhile, but feel compelled t...

2008-05-06T13:56:00.000-04:00

I've been lurking for awhile, but feel compelled to post on this one. I am a runner/triathlete, and train pretty hard. None of my friends/coworkers train like I do, so they have misconceptions about food. They think I need to eat the equivalent of a value meal at each meal, but of course we all know that's not true. Anyways, since I am a poor grad student I totally use the runner's excuse to PIG OUT and any function where there is a free spread. I can just say, "it's okay, I ran 14 miles today" as I shove the 3rd piece of cake in my mouth or hover over the hummus. It's quite pathetic, actually. Now, if I had those demon children glaring back at me from the buffet, I may change my mind.

I was ENTITLED to that waffle with apples, caramel...

2008-05-06T13:51:00.000-04:00

I was ENTITLED to that waffle with apples, caramel sauce and whipped cream on sunday because I ran a 10k race and EARNED it.

Luckily, I had the presence of mind to only eat half of it, as I didn't need ALL of the extra calories, just some of the sweet taste of victory.

Yup - I think I get it.

Hi Crabby,Entitlement enters my picture when I hav...

2008-05-06T13:43:00.000-04:00

Hi Crabby,

Entitlement enters my picture when I have been extremely busy and give myself a big day off from everything. (Sometimes even the gym.) I have to work very hard to remind my self that spending hours reading or watching movies does not mean that junk food has to be involved. But, aren't I entitled?

Well, no. but sometimes "no" isn't good enough. I try not to be entitled twice in a row. that's the best I can do.

Terrie

I think one of the hardest things to get past is t...

2008-05-06T13:28:00.001-04:00

I think one of the hardest things to get past is the notion that things should be a different way simply because we want them to be. It's easy to seize on the example of someone else and say that if so-and-so can be rich or skinny without any effort, we should be too, and it's not fair!

No, it's not fair. Grieve it then get over it and start finding your work-around.

We each have some aspect of our lives where we're still waiting for the Equality Fairy to come along and make things right without our having to do a thing for ourselves.

A clue to where that blind spot may be is if you're constantly fighting upstream on some issue and never having a breakthrough. When that happens, it's usually because there's something you're refusing to let go of (cake, TV, etc) because you think your goal shouldn't involve that particular sacrifice.

If you want things to change, though, you have to be willing to change whatever needs changing. It's quite all right to say, "I'll do anything except..." But if it's that "except" that's keeping you from your stated goal, you have to step back and ask yourself who you think you're fooling. Change your approach or change your goal-- you'll be happier!

Sorry for the ramble. :-)

How do you get in my head like that? It's like you...

2008-05-06T13:28:00.000-04:00

How do you get in my head like that? It's like you're getting some sort of secret feed directly from my internal monologue.

I think deep down we all still have that bratty little inner child that screams, "Why?! I don't wanna!!" No, we don't have to LIKE that child (sort of like I don't always LIKE my three year-old's choices/volume/resistance to sleep . . . even though I LOVE him dearly) but we have to deal with the child anyhow.

I think it is good to recognize that our inner selves, like children, do need some TLC and reassurance that while we aren't 'entitled' to things, that there are rewards in life for doing the 'right thing' - like the satisfaction of fitting into a hot pair of jeans . . . or some new workout clothes to keep up the good work (LOVE that!).

I'm going to put on my yellow hat here and say with true optimism and sunniness (this might really not be a word, but I'll use it anyhow - just because) that we are motivated by rewards and positive outcomes, so we should set ourselves up for reaching our goals and celebrating them. Easier said than done, you say? ABSOLUTELY - because that wretched entitelment stuff IS sneaky and we can get carried away with rewards and forget what our goals were in the first place! But, like Crabby says, "normalize and identify with those who, like you, have sensible goals" and celebrate along side those folks as they reach their goals. An awareness of good decisions and regular interaction with it can help you stick on your path.

I hope there is some quality SOMEWHERE in all of that . . .

Super post! I find that I have to argue with OTHE...

2008-05-06T12:41:00.000-04:00

Super post! I find that I have to argue with OTHER people sometimes when they say "oh come on you're *entitled* to this candycakecookies"... usually I'm pretty good with recognizing for myself when I just WANT something as opposed to trying to justify it. (but not always. Like last nights ice cream.)

My sense of entitlement actually cuts the other wa...

2008-05-06T11:06:00.000-04:00

My sense of entitlement actually cuts the other way...I get so busy working, going to the gym, spending time with friends, playing sports, seeing family, doing chores, etc, that I forget to actually relax. So I don't view sitting on my butt and watching tv as my entitlement rearing its ugly head - it's me making a conscious decision to slow down and give my body a break before I totally burn out! I went about three weeks straight with no time for myself, and nearly lost my head. So last week I spent tons of time on my butt with the tv and it felt great. Helps me keep my equilibrium :)

SCREAMGuilty, guilty, guilty!Of all of the thing...

2008-05-06T10:58:00.000-04:00

*SCREAM*

Guilty, guilty, guilty!

Of all of the things described in this entry, I am guilty of all of them, to different degrees.

I really wish I had something clever to say, but I am stewing in shame.

Crabby, may I link this blog entry on my own blog? This is a great blog entry, let's spread the word.