Comments on Cranky Fitness: Trash Talking & John Stuart Mill

I know... the thought of Eeyore and Rosanne... I t...

2008-05-18T16:20:00.000-04:00

I know... the thought of Eeyore and Rosanne... I think that's an image I'll try to conjure up next time the negative thoughts try to gang up on me. It's so bizarre it'll be a surefire distraction.

And Brenda, thanks -- I didn't know there have been so many 7 dwarf sets out there. I'll have to start a collection :)

MJ, I'll have to look for more of Cynthia Heimel's works.

Steph, can I join you on that road trip to Tibet?

All the comments have been really good to read. I have to go do useful (i.e. dull) chores now when what I really want to do is reply to everyone -- thank you all for the good thoughts!

"Kinda like Eyeore knocked up Rosanne Barr"Couldn'...

2008-05-17T01:05:00.000-04:00

"Kinda like Eyeore knocked up Rosanne Barr"

Couldn't ... get ... past ... this ...

Mmmfff ...

Sometimes it's a double edged sword. The negative ...

2008-05-16T15:05:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it's a double edged sword. The negative people can make the inner critic louder and vice versa the inner sabateur is looking for proof so voila it attracts the negative people to you. Sometimes if you just sit still, the negative voices will pass if you stop judging them or try to control them. It's like letting the storm pass and being calm because you know it will pass. It's just temporary and an illusion. Took me years to learn that, but it does work. This is one reason I so want to visit the monks in Tibet to learn how they keep inner calm despite turmoil around them.

LOVE Cynthia Heimel! Don't you wish she was still...

2008-05-15T23:09:00.000-04:00

LOVE Cynthia Heimel! Don't you wish she was still writing (if she is, I haven't seen a new book in a while)?

Here's what I've found to be a helpful test for whether you're just messing with yourself (because sometimes one does need to take a "critical" look at oneself/behavior)....would you let someone say whatever the little voice is saying to your daughter, sister, best friend, mother? No? Then perhaps you're being overly critical or unreasonable/unfair/unkind toward yourself.

Two things I read that also help me in dealing with myself and others:

1) everyone is doing the best they currently can given their particular situation

2) when I'm feeling REALLY evolved, I can try to apply these questions to what I want to say before I say it
is it true?
is it kind?
is it necessary?
If not, I try not to say it (and to figure out why I wanted to say it).

That was a good post Merry - I want to be able to ...

2008-05-15T22:16:00.000-04:00

That was a good post Merry - I want to be able to say something more, but I'm tired an my brain is mush. But glad you posted it, rather than giving in to the negative little voice.

This post is so good for me to hear. Thanks! I t...

2008-05-15T19:22:00.000-04:00

This post is so good for me to hear. Thanks! I tend to be rather hard on myself, too hard at times. I should try more positive self talk and see how that affects my confidence and behavior, huh? Afterall, it starts in the mind/heart. So, I'm gonna focus on the positive! I need to think more like Snow White! ;)

lori hacking - Tupperware still makes a hamburger ...

2008-05-15T18:42:00.000-04:00

lori hacking - Tupperware still makes a hamburger press, as far as I know.

As for the rest of it... hmm... my DH is a terribly negative person (but he doesn't think he is). It's beginning to take a health toll on me. Gotta get more positive talk in my head!

Negativity is very hard to break out of, it is why...

2008-05-15T18:29:00.000-04:00

Negativity is very hard to break out of, it is why there are so many battered women and children out there. It is a vicious cycle that is repeated generation after generation in the worst cases.

I have been negative about myself, about others, to others and to myself in the past. Since my cancer, I have been trying to change that. It is hardest to stop being negative about & to myself though.

Good post Merry, I will now sing the Oscar Meyer song or recite the seven dwarves as the situation calls for them.

good question: It's funny for me..while I spring t...

2008-05-15T17:04:00.000-04:00

good question: It's funny for me..while I spring to action when it comes to asserting myself in situations like stores, at the doctor's office, various bill companies, I turn into a quite mouse if someone on the street says something to me (aka catcalling.) Let me rephrase that - I do one of two things - I lose my voice OR I respond with a loud "Eff off!" or somesuch, which really does nothing except cause more trouble. But street scenes like this always stick with me and I can't shake them off. Wonder why I'm so sensitive?

PS re breathing/self talk, Biofeedback is currently saving my life and I mean this is in an absolutely literal way.

dopey, sneezy, sleepy, grumpy, doc, happy, and.......

2008-05-15T16:17:00.000-04:00

dopey, sneezy, sleepy, grumpy, doc, happy, and.......... bashful! i did it!

anyway, i have not had anyone be negative towards me in quite a while, luckily. and i can't really remember how i react when i am in a situation like that. i guess it's a good thing that i only hang out with positive, supportive people at this time in my life!

I have a friend who starts every fifth sentence wi...

2008-05-15T14:32:00.000-04:00

I have a friend who starts every fifth sentence with "Oh GREAT...." but it's in a really negative tone. Kinda like Eyeore knocked up Rosanne Barr and out comes this chubby donkey who says "Oh GREAT, it's too sunny. Now my flowers are going to wilt...." blah blah! It's so annoying how negative some people are ALL OF THE TIME!

In totally unrelated comments... does anyone know where to buy a hamburger press?

When I used to be a trainer for a gym, I always ha...

2008-05-15T14:29:00.000-04:00

When I used to be a trainer for a gym, I always had to walk away from those that started talking negatively. You'd be surprised how many employed trainers bash the gyms they work for; so many just complain about being broke instead of doing something to fix it. Just like others have been saying, you have to walk away from the negative talk and surround yourself with positive-minded people; they'll help bring you to the top.

Thanks for the shout out! I love how I just point...

2008-05-15T13:58:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the shout out! I love how I just point out the problems but you guys actually try solving them. It's a good deal, I think - I'll leave the heavy lifting up to you two:)

Love your suggestions! Yay Stuart!! Seriously tho Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worked wonders on my neg. self talk.

I tend to learn the hard way, which means I should...

2008-05-15T13:14:00.000-04:00

I tend to learn the hard way, which means I should be uber smart by now! We can have anxiety over things or turn it into angst (hopefully waiting for a cure or answer).
I had an extremely negative dad and have an overperky twin sister. I also have a friend who makes me laugh with her constant stream of Daria attitude.
I found myself avoiding my dad and sister yet enjoying my friend's cynical outlook, most of the time. Up to a point she seems funny, then it gets kinda old and it's time to change the channel!

I think you need to write one of those huge volume...

2008-05-15T13:06:00.000-04:00

I think you need to write one of those huge volumes discussing your philosophies and you can become this awesome philosopher. It'll be great!

I'm all about the positive thinking. But sometimes the occasional negative thought can be just the thing to motivate me. I've really learned to just stay away from people who impose too much negativity.

I wholeheartedly agree that sometimes you have to ...

2008-05-15T12:36:00.000-04:00

I wholeheartedly agree that sometimes you have to cut people out of your life. There are some folks who, unfortunately, and for whatever reason, are only happy when they have something to complain about. (Like that bi#*h yesterday who yelled at me for letting my dog pee on the grass. In a public area. Channeling my inner surly adolescent, I said "Whatever!" and walked away.)

And I do believe that positive self-talk works at least as well as negative self-talk. It's just a new habit that we have to learn, so it seems harder and less effective at first.

Dagnabbit!No one else answered your question at th...

2008-05-15T12:35:00.000-04:00

Dagnabbit!
No one else answered your question at the very end, which means of course I HAVE TO!! xD

Seven dwarfs
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Seven Dwarves)

Seven dwarfs or Seven dwarves may refer to:

* Snow White (as in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, in the Disney production, named Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, and Dopey)

Now for 4 other tidbits of info to include with 2 more random ones, making the list go up to that wonderful # of 7!
(Yes, my math is just fine today thanks)

# Seven Dwarfs (Australian public servants), seven influential Australian politicians.
# Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Mountains), a mountain range in New Brunswick.
# The Seven dwarfs of Big Tobacco, comprised of Donald S. Johnston of American Tobacco Company, Thomas Sandefur, chairman of Brown & Williamson, Ed Horrigan of Liggett Group, Andrew Tisch of Lorillard, James Johnston of R.J. Reynolds, Joseph Taddeo of U.S. Tobacco, and William Campbell of Philip Morris[1]. All seven are winners of the 1996 Ig Nobel Prize for Medicine.
# The Seven dwarfs of the mainframe-era computer industry: Burroughs, Control Data Corporation, General Electric, Honeywell, RCA, NCR and UNIVAC; the role of Snow White in this metaphor is filled by IBM.

oh no, not the oscar mayer weiner song!! Thanks a...

2008-05-15T12:26:00.000-04:00

oh no, not the oscar mayer weiner song!! Thanks a lot!

although that is a much better thing to have in my head than all the negative thoughts that get caught in there.

i have found that being around negative people makes me more aware of my own negative thoughts---and just how draining they really can be.

thanks for the mention and the reminder to be happy!

Great posts and great comments.If someone consiste...

2008-05-15T11:51:00.000-04:00

Great posts and great comments.

If someone consistently puts me down, I tell them I don't like it, if it continues, I tune it out for a while and if it still continues, I toss the person from my life.

The older I get, the more likely I am to skip step two and go from step one to step three. Life is too short to listen to hurtful nonsense.

Terrie

Secret ninja happy attacks, that's priceless, Geos...

2008-05-15T11:35:00.000-04:00

Secret ninja happy attacks, that's priceless, Geosomin! I'll remember that!

Alice, I remember reading in a Douglas Adams' nove...

2008-05-15T11:17:00.000-04:00

Alice, I remember reading in a Douglas Adams' novel about that trick of thinking of 7 things to distract your thoughts. It really can work, for me at least. Sometimes it's useful to have a short attention span!

Oooh, a plan for World Domination! Go Geosomin!

2008-05-15T11:15:00.000-04:00

Oooh, a plan for World Domination! Go Geosomin!

Just like everyone else, I have had people in my l...

2008-05-15T11:14:00.000-04:00

Just like everyone else, I have had people in my life who are so negative, I feel like throwing myself in a ditch after a couple of hours with them. I think Merry I will try your idea of counteracting a negative comment with a positive thoughts. Sometimes, you just can't tell people to stop... The drama that might follow might be more harmful than the cutting little remark

That being said, I also try not to be the one focusing on negative things and if I feel my mood going sour, I usually try to keep to myself.

If only I could combine running and ninja happy at...

2008-05-15T10:20:00.000-04:00

If only I could combine running and ninja happy attacks...the world would be mine!
Muahahahahahaaa!

Positive self talk is the way to go! I used to be...

2008-05-15T10:19:00.000-04:00

Positive self talk is the way to go! I used to be really hard on myself, but as I've matured I've taken a different attitude. It takes some work to step back and readjust your thinking but it is completely worth it.

Like Fitarella, I've had to let some friendships go because of over negativity. I know it seems a bit harsh, but my mental well being is far more important to me than a toxic friend.